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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Sri_Sampath" data-source="post: 26074308" data-attributes="member: 264139">මේක ආතල් එකට දාපු post එකක් ද කියල නම් දන්නේ නෑ,හැබැයි කාට හරි හිතෙනවනම් තමන්ගේ යම්කිසි වෙනසක් තියනව කියල ගොඩ වෙදකම් කරන්නේ නැතුව ගිහිල්ල ඉක්මනට දොස්තර කෙනෙක් ට පෙන්නන. මේක ගොඩක් සංවේදී කාරණයක් අම්මල තාත්තලට කියන්නේ ළමය ඉස්කෝලේ යන්න කලින් පොඩ්ඩක් මේ දේවල් ගැන හොයන්න , ඒ කියන්නේ අවුරුදු 5 7 වගේ වයසේදී ඔය වයසේදී ළමයි තමතමන්ගේ අවයව සසදනවා,ඉතින් මොකක් හරි පොඩි අඩුපාඩුවක් තිබුනොත් ඒක ලොකු මානසික ප්‍රශ්නයක් වෙන්න පුළුවන් පස්සේ කාලෙක<h3>Circumcision and phimosis stories: 'I'm scared of my own penis'</h3>By Caroline LowbridgeBBC NewsPublished11 May 2019Share<img src="https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/cpsprodpb/14035/production/_106637918_alexcanada.jpg" alt="Alex Hardy in Canada" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" />IMAGE COPYRIGHTLESLEY ROBERTSimage captionA story about Alex Hardy's suicide prompted readers to get in touch with their own experiences of circumcision and phimosisDespite male circumcision being relatively common, it's not something people usually talk openly about. But when a grieving mother explained how her son killed himself after being circumcised, it prompted many men to share their own experiences."I read your story this morning and have been crying for hours.""The same thing happened to me... I don't know why I'm writing this. I'm sorry.""The article made me feel a bizarre mix of sadness, frustration and relief.""Finally I can start to make some sense out of my own experience."These were among the responses to a <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-47292307" target="_blank">story about the death of 23-year-old Alex Hardy</a>, who was circumcised after secretly suffering from a tight foreskin - a condition known as phimosis - for many years. He felt the circumcision left him in a lot of pain, both physically and mentally, and killed himself two years later.Some readers who got in touch said they had never spoken about their problems before - even to their partners.Here are some of their experiences. Some names have been changed.<h3>'I've never been able to have sex'</h3><img src="https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/cpsprodpb/7694/production/_106765303_gettyimages-593301094.jpg" alt="Man's feet in bath's feet in bath" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" />IMAGE COPYRIGHTGETTY IMAGESimage captionEven washing his penis used to make Curtis sick (stock image)Curtis, 21, from Worcestershire, developed post-traumatic stress disorder due to the severe pain he experienced when the wound from his partial circumcision became infected.He can't have sex or masturbate manually as he is, in his own words, "scared of my own dick"."When I had the operation I got an infection, so instead of taking a week to heal, mine took about six weeks," said Curtis, who was seven and a half years old when he had the operation."Because of the infection I got it had to be sterilised, so I had to be put in salt baths in my house which was absolute agony, because you are putting a wound in salt."I couldn't sleep properly, I couldn't walk, because every time it touched either leg the pain was so bad I would just stop walking. So I had to be carried a lot of the time to and from rooms."Sleeping was a problem because Curtis's T-shirt kept getting stuck to the wound."Every morning I would have to tear that T-shirt off, which was obviously very painful as well," he said.<ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-19072761" target="_blank">Circumcision, the ultimate parenting dilemma</a></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-18604664" target="_blank">German court rules circumcision is 'bodily harm'</a></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-43111800" target="_blank">Outrage as Iceland moots circumcision ban</a></li> </ul>Curtis has been having sex therapy for two years and hopes to be able to have sex one day."I did have a girlfriend at one point, and when it started to go towards that sort of thing my heart rate would pick up and I would start to sweat and I just couldn't cope," he said."So as far as I'm concerned, if I can barely go near it, how on earth can I expect somebody else to do it?"He has already made progress and is a lot more comfortable when he touches his penis to wash it."For several years every time I washed it I would just be sick, because I just couldn't cope with it," he said."That doesn't happen now. It's small steps and small victories but they are victories I wasn't having before. So I can see it getting better."<h3>'Circumcision gave me unwanted erections'</h3><img src="https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/cpsprodpb/C4B4/production/_106765305_gettyimages-849248938.jpg" alt="Boy looking upset on stairs" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" />IMAGE COPYRIGHTGETTY IMAGESimage captionJohn was confused and disturbed by frequent erections he started having after being circumcised as a boy (stock image)John, who is now in his early 50s, was circumcised as a child and started getting unwanted erections soon after.He said he could "relate immediately" when he read about how Alex found the touch of underwear overly stimulating."The extreme sensitivity articulated clearly the problems I faced but without understanding why," he said."I thought it was normal to be that sensitive."John was circumcised when he was between six and eight years old, but he does not know why."I wasn't really consulted," he said."To me it was something the doctor and my mum agreed had to happen. I vaguely remember having difficulty passing water at the time."He remembers experiencing pain after surgery and being more sensitive than before."I had erections straight after surgery," he said"I don't know how normal it is for under 10 year olds to get erections but mine became frequent."I ejaculated whilst still in junior school and was scared because I didn't know what it was."There was no internet and no-one to ask. I didn't know what masturbating was but that's what I was doing. It was the only way to find some relief."John believes the trauma of circumcision was an influencing factor when he later had a nervous breakdown."I think there are many aspects that people never consider, especially the mental side," he said."To be honest, I've never even talked to my wife about it."The psychological effect of permanent and over-stimulation of the penis over a long period of time is never discussed."<h3>'I feel quite happy having phimosis'</h3><img src="https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/cpsprodpb/112D4/production/_106765307_gettyimages-487076136.jpg" alt="Two men in bed" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" />IMAGE COPYRIGHTGETTY IMAGESimage captionPete only realised his penis was different when a partner told him (stock image)Another reader, Pete, is not able to retract his foreskin but he doesn't see this as a problem requiring medical treatment."I'm gay and it's something that I only found out about through the sexual partners I've had over the last couple of years," said Pete, who is 25 and lives in Ealing."I only found out about phimosis even existing after a conversation with a partner, who said I was supposed to be able to expose my glans [head of the penis],""A little bit of googling and I realised the whole thing has a name and that people advise you get treated for it."Pete was initially "very anxious" when he found out he might have phimosis."I read about how doctors try to encourage things to rectify it but, like with Alex, I think they would simply take a mild or fairly benign thing and make it a million times worse," he said.Some of Pete's sexual partners have been "curious about why I'm not like most other guys"."I don't feel like it's gotten in the way of things as much as it might for some," he said."It only gets in the way if a guy is very judgmental, and thinks I ought to be more like them."Pete says it "feels a bit awkward to be made to feel slightly wrong somehow"."I think the attitude people have about it is the bigger problem," he said."I feel quite happy as I am."I genuinely feel like circumcision is completely unnecessary in my case, and it would make things painful and I'd instantly regret it."<h3></h3></blockquote>

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