Reply to thread

Message: <blockquote data-quote="yksunlk" data-source="post: 3638986" data-attributes="member: 122708">10 of Daddy's Rules for Dating   Rule One:  If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering   a package, becasue you're sure not picking anything up.  Rule Two:  You do not touch my daughter in front of me.  You may glance   at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.  If   you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I   will remove them.  Rule Three:  I am aware that it is considered fashionable for  boys of your age   to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear  to be falling   off their hips.  Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all   of your friends are complete idiots.  Still, I want to be fair and   open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise:   You may come to the door with your underwear showing and   your pants ten sizes to big, and I will not object. However, in   order to ensure that your clothes do no, infact come off during   the course of you date with my   daughter, I will take my electric   nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.  Rule Four:  I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without   utilizing a "Barrier method" of some kind can kill you.  Let me   elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrrier, and I will kill   you.  Rule Five:  It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each   other, we should talk aobut sports, politics, and other issues of   the day. Please do not do this.  The only information I require   from you is an indication of when you expect to have my   duaghter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from   you on this subject is: early."  Rule Six:  I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many   opportunities to date other girls.  This is fine with me as long as   it is okay with my daughter.  Otherwise, once you have gone out   with  my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until   she is finished with you.  If you make her cry, I will make you   cry.  Rule Seven:  As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to   appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget.    If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be   dating.  My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than   can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of   just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like   changing the oil in my car?  Rule Eight:  The following places are not appropriate for a date with my   daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer   than a wooden stool.  Places where there is darkness.  PLaces   where there is dancing,holding hands, or happiness.  Places   where the ambient temperature is warm enough to introduce my   duaghter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything   othere than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped   up to her throat.  Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme   are to be avoided; movies which features chan saws are okay.    Hockey games are okay.  Old folks homes  are better.  Rule Nine:  Do not lie to me.  I may appear to be a potbellied, balding,   middle-aged, dimwitted has-been.  But on issues relating to my   daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe.    If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one   chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the   truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the   house.  Do not trifle with me.  Rule Ten:  Be afraid,.  Be very afraid.  It takes very little for me to mistake   the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in   over a rice paddy near Hanoi.  When my Agent Orange stargts   acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the   guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home.  As soon as   you pull into the  driveways you should exit the car with both   hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in   a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely   and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to   come inside.  The camoflaged face at the window is mine.  Send this to 0 people and you will never get a date  Send this to 1 -5 people  only dorky people will be attracted to you  Send this to 5-10 people you will get asked out, but it won't amount       to much  10 + you will live a charmed life, and will have lots of dates.</blockquote>

Verification: Asuwa dahayen wadi kalama keeyada?

Top Bottom