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ElaKiri Jokes
10 Rules For Getting Guaranteed Promotion Without Any Hard Work.......
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<blockquote data-quote="yksunlk" data-source="post: 3735987" data-attributes="member: 122708"><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: Blue"><strong>1. Never walk without a document in your hands</strong></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: Blue"><strong></strong></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: Blue"><strong></strong></span></span></p><p> <img src="http://www.jokesduniya.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/documents.gif" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></p><p></p><p></p><p> <strong><span style="font-size: 10px">People with documents in their hand look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they’re heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they’re heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.</span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: Blue">2. Use computers to look busy</span></span></strong></strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p> <img src="http://www.jokesduniya.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/busy-computer.gif" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></p><p> <span style="font-size: 10px"><strong>Any time you use a computer, it looks like “work” to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren’t exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they’re not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught — your best defense is to claim you’re teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.</strong></span></p><p> <strong><span style="color: Blue"><strong>3. Messy desk</strong></span></strong></p><p> <img src="http://www.jokesduniya.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/messy-desk.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></p><p> <strong><span style="font-size: 10px">Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we’re not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year’s work looks the same as today’s work; it’s volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you’ll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.</span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: Blue"><strong>4. Voice Mail</strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: Blue"><strong></strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: Blue"><strong></strong></span></span></strong></p><p> <img src="http://www.jokesduniya.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/voice-mail.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></p><p> <strong><span style="font-size: 10px">Never answers your phone if you have voice mail. People don’t call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That’s no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they’re not there - it looks like you’re hardworking and conscientious even though you’re being a devious weasel.</span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></strong></p><p> <span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: Blue"><strong>5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed</strong></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: Blue"><strong></strong></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: Blue"><strong></strong></span></span></p><p> <img src="http://www.jokesduniya.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/impatient-annoyed.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></p><p></p><p></p><p> <strong><span style="font-size: 10px">According to George Costanza, one should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.</span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></strong></p><p> <span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: Blue"><strong>6. Leave the Office Late</strong></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: Blue"><strong></strong></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: Blue"><strong></strong></span></span></p><p> <img src="http://www.jokesduniya.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/working-late.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></p><p></p><p></p><p> <strong><span style="font-size: 10px">Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss’ room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours</span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-size: 10px">(e.g. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays.</span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></span></strong></p><p> <strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: Blue"><strong>7. Creative Sighing for Effect</strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: Blue"><strong></strong></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: Blue"><strong></strong></span></span></strong></p><p> <img src="http://www.jokesduniya.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/stressed.gif" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></p><p></p><p></p><p> <strong><span style="font-size: 10px">Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.</span></strong></p><p> <strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: Blue">8. Stacking Strategy</span></span></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></strong></strong></p><p><strong><strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></strong></strong></p><p> <img src="http://www.jokesduniya.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/book-piles.gif" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></p><p></p><p> <span style="font-size: 10px"><strong>It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the best).</strong></span></p><p> <strong></strong></p><p><strong>9. Build Vocabulary</strong></p><p> <img src="http://www.jokesduniya.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/vocabulary.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></p><p> <span style="font-size: 10px"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"><strong>Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don’t have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.</strong></span></p><p> <strong></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: Blue">10. MOST IMPORTANT!!!:</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></strong></p><p> <img src="http://www.jokesduniya.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/boss.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></p><p></p><p></p><p> <strong><span style="font-size: 10px">DON’T forward this to your boss by mistake!!!</span></strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="yksunlk, post: 3735987, member: 122708"] [SIZE=3][COLOR=Blue][B]1. Never walk without a document in your hands [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE] [IMG]http://www.jokesduniya.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/documents.gif[/IMG] [B][SIZE=2]People with documents in their hand look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they’re heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they’re heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do. [SIZE=3][COLOR=Blue] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/SIZE][/B] [B][B][SIZE=3][COLOR=Blue]2. Use computers to look busy[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [/B] [IMG]http://www.jokesduniya.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/busy-computer.gif[/IMG] [SIZE=2][B]Any time you use a computer, it looks like “work” to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren’t exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they’re not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught — your best defense is to claim you’re teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.[/B][/SIZE] [B][COLOR=Blue][B]3. Messy desk[/B][/COLOR][/B] [IMG]http://www.jokesduniya.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/messy-desk.jpg[/IMG] [B][SIZE=2]Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we’re not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year’s work looks the same as today’s work; it’s volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you’ll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives. [/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=3][COLOR=Blue][B]4. Voice Mail [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [IMG]http://www.jokesduniya.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/voice-mail.jpg[/IMG] [B][SIZE=2]Never answers your phone if you have voice mail. People don’t call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That’s no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they’re not there - it looks like you’re hardworking and conscientious even though you’re being a devious weasel. [/SIZE][/B] [SIZE=3][COLOR=Blue][B]5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE] [IMG]http://www.jokesduniya.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/impatient-annoyed.jpg[/IMG] [B][SIZE=2]According to George Costanza, one should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy. [/SIZE][/B] [SIZE=3][COLOR=Blue][B]6. Leave the Office Late [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE] [IMG]http://www.jokesduniya.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/working-late.jpg[/IMG] [B][SIZE=2]Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss’ room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours[/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2](e.g. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays. [SIZE=3][COLOR=Blue] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=3][COLOR=Blue][B]7. Creative Sighing for Effect [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [IMG]http://www.jokesduniya.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/stressed.gif[/IMG] [B][SIZE=2]Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.[/SIZE][/B] [B] [B][SIZE=3][COLOR=Blue]8. Stacking Strategy [/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][/B] [IMG]http://www.jokesduniya.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/book-piles.gif[/IMG] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][B]It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the best).[/B][/SIZE] [B] 9. Build Vocabulary[/B] [IMG]http://www.jokesduniya.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/vocabulary.jpg[/IMG] [SIZE=2][B] Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don’t have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.[/B][/SIZE] [B] [SIZE=3][COLOR=Blue]10. MOST IMPORTANT!!!: [/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [IMG]http://www.jokesduniya.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/boss.jpg[/IMG] [B][SIZE=2]DON’T forward this to your boss by mistake!!![/SIZE][/B] [/QUOTE]
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