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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Dishon" data-source="post: 9118937" data-attributes="member: 35480">Failed Jail Break       Two inmates were attempting to escape the city jail by crawling  through the air conditioning ducts, but fell through the ceiling into  the office of the police chief.               Don't Commit a Robbery While Intoxicated       A woman arrived home and saw a man breaking into her house. She  called her husband, then called the police. The husband rushed home and  saw the intoxicated man leaving his house. It was someone he knew. So  he went over to talk to him. They chatted by the side of the road long  enough for the police to arrive and arrest him.       To Do List       Two men escaped a prison in Vermont. When they were caught in New York City, they were found with this To Do list:       <ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Drive to Maine</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Get safer place to stay</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Buy guns</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Get Marie</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Get car in Dartmouth</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Do robbery</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Go to New York</li> </ul>               Guns for Hire       "Guns for Hire" is a company which stages gunfights for Western  movies and for other events. One day a woman called and asked if she  could hire them to kill her husband. She was sentences to 4 ½ years for  the request.               That Stinks       A man broke into a landfill and attempted to steal $10 worth of  copper. Only problem is that he got stuck under a large metal trash bin  for 12 hours until the employees found him the next day.               No Warrant?       A man was charged with drug possession. At his trial, he  claimed that the officers had searched him without a search warrant. The  judge explained that they did not need one because the bulge in his  pocket had looked like a gun. The man happened to be wearing the same  jacket. When he handed it to the judge, a bag of cocaine fell out of the  pocket.       The judge had to take a five minute recess to regain his composure.               Not Spicy Enough       A man called 911 to report that a sandwich shop had left off  the hot sauce when making his spicy Italian sandwich. He called a second  time to complain that the police were not responding quickly enough.       The employees had locked him out when he left to make the call  because he was yelling at them and belligerent. The police tried to calm  him down and explain the proper use of 911, to no avail. He was  arrested and charged with making a false call to the police.               Don't Litter       Three people were arrested when a recreation center reported  their vending machine had been burglarized. The police arrived to find  that most of the contents had been stolen. They went outside and  followed a trail of Cheetos to a house nearby where they arrested the  three young men.               He Loved Chocolate       Store employees called the police when they saw a 15 year old  boy steal some candy bars. The police caught up with him. He denied  taking the candy. But the odor of chocolate was strong on his breath.       The police took him back to the store where the employees identified him.               Excuses for Speeding       Kitsap County , Washington, had begun to crack down on speeding  motorists. Here's a list of some answers they received when they asked  the drivers why they were speeding:       <ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">My gas petal got stuck.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Don't I get a couple miles per hour over when I'm taking my grandchildren to the airport?</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">I didn't know I was speeding because my lights were off.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">My speedometer is broken.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">I had a bee in my car.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">I've been drinking and I wanted to get off the road quickly.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">I am driving my friend to the hospital. He has alcohol poisoning. (The driver was also found to be intoxicated.)</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">(After crashing) I put high test gas in my car and it caused me to lose control. (He was also found to be intoxicated.)</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">I'm trying to catch that UFO. Will you try to catch it for me?</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">I get 10 extra miles per hour in the fast lane.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">I'm wearing shoes that are really heavy and they make the gas petal go down more.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">My doctor gave me the wrong medication.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">I'm headed to a divorce proceeding and if you met her, sir, you would understand why I'm in a hurry.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">I just got my license back after having it suspended and I'm not used to driving.</li> </ul></blockquote>

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