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<blockquote data-quote="bemylover" data-source="post: 1507574" data-attributes="member: 40553"><p>Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past.</p><p>Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.</p><p>Teacher: Why?</p><p>Student: There is no future in it.</p><p>*******</p><p></p><p>Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?</p><p>Ted: $10.</p><p>Teacher: You don't know maths.</p><p>Ted: You don't know my father!</p><p>*******</p><p></p><p>Mother: David, come here.</p><p>David: Yes, mum?</p><p>Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.</p><p>David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow.</p><p>Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.</p><p>*******</p><p></p><p>Father: Why did you fail your mathematics test?</p><p>Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8</p><p>Father: So?</p><p>Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.</p><p>If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?</p><p>*******</p><p></p><p>A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room.</p><p>Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence.</p><p></p><p>The daughter turned to look at her father.</p><p>Daughter: It's mummy!</p><p>Father: How do you know?</p><p>Daughter: She didn't say anything.</p><p>*******</p><p></p><p>Girl: Do you love me?</p><p>Boy: Yes Dear</p><p>Girl: Would you die for me?</p><p>Boy: No, mine is undying love</p><p>*******</p><p></p><p>Man: How old is your father?</p><p>Boy: As old as me</p><p>Man: How can that be?</p><p>Boy: He became a father only when I was born</p><p>*******</p><p></p><p>Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.</p><p>Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.</p><p>*******</p><p></p><p>Teacher: Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?</p><p>Simon: No, teacher, it's the same dog!</p><p>*******</p><p></p><p>Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!</p><p>Son: That's why I say she's no good!</p><p>*******</p><p></p><p>Teacher: "Where were u born?"</p><p>Student: " Singapore , Sir."</p><p>Teacher: "Which part?"</p><p>Student: "All of me, Sir."</p><p>*******</p><p></p><p>A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?" Only one hand shot up.</p><p>"Ok, answer, Joan" said the teacher.</p><p>"'unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is a sick eagle."</p><p>*******</p><p></p><p>Teacher: "How come you do not comb your hair?"</p><p>Ah Kow: "No comb, Sir."</p><p>Teacher: "Use your dad's then."</p><p>Ah Kow: "No hair, Sir."</p><p>*******</p><p></p><p>A boy came home from school with his exam results.</p><p>"What did u get?" asked his father.</p><p>"My marks are under water," said the boy.</p><p>"What do u mean 'under water'?"</p><p>"They are all below 'C' (sea) level"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="bemylover, post: 1507574, member: 40553"] Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past. Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history. Teacher: Why? Student: There is no future in it. ******* Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have? Ted: $10. Teacher: You don't know maths. Ted: You don't know my father! ******* Mother: David, come here. David: Yes, mum? Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse. David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow. Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now. ******* Father: Why did you fail your mathematics test? Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8 Father: So? Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8. If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer? ******* A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father. Daughter: It's mummy! Father: How do you know? Daughter: She didn't say anything. ******* Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Yes Dear Girl: Would you die for me? Boy: No, mine is undying love ******* Man: How old is your father? Boy: As old as me Man: How can that be? Boy: He became a father only when I was born ******* Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg. Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card. ******* Teacher: Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his? Simon: No, teacher, it's the same dog! ******* Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything! Son: That's why I say she's no good! ******* Teacher: "Where were u born?" Student: " Singapore , Sir." Teacher: "Which part?" Student: "All of me, Sir." ******* A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?" Only one hand shot up. "Ok, answer, Joan" said the teacher. "'unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is a sick eagle." ******* Teacher: "How come you do not comb your hair?" Ah Kow: "No comb, Sir." Teacher: "Use your dad's then." Ah Kow: "No hair, Sir." ******* A boy came home from school with his exam results. "What did u get?" asked his father. "My marks are under water," said the boy. "What do u mean 'under water'?" "They are all below 'C' (sea) level" [/QUOTE]
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