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<blockquote data-quote="9.57" data-source="post: 10100110" data-attributes="member: 112635"><p><span style="color: navy"><strong>After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: navy"><strong>her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: navy"><strong>most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: navy"><strong>get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: navy"><strong>is like most women - - she loved to browse.</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: navy"><strong>Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: navy"><strong>from the local Wal-Mart.</strong></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>Dear Mrs. Samsel,</strong></span></p><p> </p><p><strong><span style="color: #3333ff">Over the past six months, your husband has been</span><span style="color: #3333ff"> causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot</span></strong></p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>both of you from the store. Our complaints against</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>video surveillance cameras.</strong></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>Put them in people's carts when they weren't</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>Looking.</strong></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>2 . July 2 : Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>To go off at 5-minute intervals.</strong></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>leading to the women's restroom.</strong></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>An official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>Right away."</strong></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>Put a bag of M&M's on layaway.</strong></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>6. August 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>A carpeted area.</strong></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>Department and told other shoppers he'd invite them</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>In if they would bring pillows and blankets from the</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>Bedding department.</strong></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>Him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>People just leave me alone?"</strong></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>9. September 4: Looked right into the security</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>Camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>Nose.</strong></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>Department, he asked t he clerk where the</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>Antidepressants were..</strong></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously </strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>While loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.</strong></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>His "Madonna look" by using different sizes of</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>Funnels.</strong></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>People browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"</strong></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>14. October 21: When an announcement came over the</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>Loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>Screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>And last, but not least.</strong></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>Door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey!</strong></span></p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>There's no toilet paper in here!"</strong></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>Regards,</strong></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>Tom Richards</strong></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #3333ff"><strong>Wal-Mart Manager</strong></span></p><p> </p><p><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="9.57, post: 10100110, member: 112635"] [COLOR=navy][B]After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=navy][B]her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like [/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=navy][B]most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=navy][B]get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=navy][B]is like most women - - she loved to browse.[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=navy][B]Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=navy][B]from the local Wal-Mart.[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]Dear Mrs. Samsel,[/B][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=#3333ff]Over the past six months, your husband has been[/COLOR][COLOR=#3333ff] causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot[/COLOR][/B] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]both of you from the store. Our complaints against[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]video surveillance cameras.[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]Put them in people's carts when they weren't[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]Looking.[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]2 . July 2 : Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]To go off at 5-minute intervals.[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]leading to the women's restroom.[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]An official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]Right away."[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]Put a bag of M&M's on layaway.[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]6. August 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]A carpeted area.[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]Department and told other shoppers he'd invite them[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]In if they would bring pillows and blankets from the[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]Bedding department.[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]Him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]People just leave me alone?"[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]9. September 4: Looked right into the security[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]Camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]Nose.[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]Department, he asked t he clerk where the[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]Antidepressants were..[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously [/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]While loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]His "Madonna look" by using different sizes of[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]Funnels.[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]People browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]14. October 21: When an announcement came over the[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]Loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]Screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]And last, but not least.[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]Door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey![/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]There's no toilet paper in here!"[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]Regards,[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]Tom Richards[/B][/COLOR] [COLOR=#3333ff][B]Wal-Mart Manager[/B][/COLOR] :lol::lol: [/QUOTE]
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