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Message: <blockquote data-quote="9.57" data-source="post: 10100110" data-attributes="member: 112635">After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompanyher on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred toget in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wifeis like most women - - she loved to browse.Yesterday my dear wife received the following letterfrom the local Wal-Mart. Dear Mrs. Samsel, Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannottolerate this behavior and have been forced to banboth of you from the store. Our complaints againstMr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by ourvideo surveillance cameras.  1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomlyPut them in people's carts when they weren'tLooking. 2 . July 2 : Set all the alarm clocks in HousewaresTo go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floorleading to the women's restroom. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her inAn official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on itRight away." 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried toPut a bag of M&M's on layaway. 6. August 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign toA carpeted area. 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the campingDepartment and told other shoppers he'd invite themIn if they would bring pillows and blankets from theBedding department. 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could helpHim he began crying and screamed, "Why can't youPeople just leave me alone?" 9. September 4: Looked right into the securityCamera and used it as a mirror while he picked hisNose. 10. September 10: While handling guns in the huntingDepartment, he asked t he clerk where theAntidepressants were.. 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously While loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practicedHis "Madonna look" by using different sizes ofFunnels. 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and whenPeople browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!" 14. October 21: When an announcement came over theLoud speaker, he assumed a fetal position andScreamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"And last, but not least. 15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut theDoor, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey!There's no toilet paper in here!"  Regards, Tom Richards Wal-Mart Manager <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL    :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL    :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /></blockquote>

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