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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Matti PuuSa" data-source="post: 6233692" data-attributes="member: 254988">Star signs are the base of predicting a woman`s life. All the rest is filler. There are 13 star signs and each has it's own trait. <ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Pisces (<a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Fish" target="_blank">Fish</a>): You have a talent for swimming, but have not yet developed lungs. If you're reading this out of water then you're probably dead. Likes: plankton. Dislikes: Captain Birdseye, toilets.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Aries (<a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Dodge" target="_blank">Ram</a>): You are not a born leader. You tend to follow in a group and be quite plain and unnoticeable. People tend to use you and you can be often taken for a ride. However you are dependable and can be counted on, unless you're a K-car. Likes: grass, large groups. Dislikes: getting your hair cut, being taken for a ride.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Taurus (Bull): Your carming,your loving,and a bit egotistical.But hey that's ok because you think your perfect and most of the time you are,at least you try to be.Think of Megan fox or Jessica Alba pretty perfect right?Likes:Beautiful people and things.Dislikes:anything that's not like them.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Gemini" target="_blank">Gemini</a> (Twins): This one is easy, you have multiple personality disorder. You never make up your minds about anything, but you're fun to have at parties. Likes: flowers, cars. Dislikes: cars, flowers, psychiatrists.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Cancer" target="_blank">Cancer</a> (<a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Crab" target="_blank">Crab</a>): You have too much unsafe sex. Buy some <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Condoms" target="_blank">condoms</a>. Likes: unsafe sex, pinching people. Dislikes: lice, fishnets.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Leo (Lion): You are strong, clever, brave and have an unnerving passion for taking down large mammals. All the fat people recently left your neighbourhood. Likes: red <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Meat" target="_blank">meat</a>, hair curlers. Dislikes: guns, gnus, snug and nugs.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Virgo (<a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Virgin" target="_blank">Virgin</a>): You have an unbridled passion for <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Danish" target="_blank">Danish</a> film stars who kill Orcs in their spare time. Likes: <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/The_Lord_of_the_Rings" target="_blank">the Lord of the Rings</a>. Dislikes: Swedish people.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Libra (Scales): Know it all. Likes: reading. Dislikes: contact with the opposite sex (they scare you).</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Scorpio (Scorpion): You <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Kill" target="_blank">kill</a> <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/People" target="_blank">people</a> for <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Fun" target="_blank">fun</a> and have quite a sting in your tail. Likes: <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/The_Rock" target="_blank">the Rock</a>, the Mummy Returns. Dislikes: Brendon Fraser.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Sagittarius (Prouounced - Sagit-Hairy-Ass) (<a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Centaur" target="_blank">Centaur</a>): You are very in touch with your animal side. It could, in fact, be said that you like <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Animals" target="_blank">animals</a> a little too much (Catherine the Great, hint hint.). You are very in touch with animals. Have I made myself clear yet? Likes: that should be obvious. People under the sign of Aries. Dislikes: anti-bestiality laws.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Capricorn (Goat): Goats aren't funny. You aren't funny. This one is quite pathetic. Just ignore it. Likes: un-funny things (like this). Dislikes: non-<a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Goat" target="_blank">goat</a> related things. You spend the majority of your day grazing.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Aquarius (Water Carrier): You are blessed with a good memory, a large stomach and a <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Piss" target="_blank">bladder</a> of seemingly infinite volume. Likes: liquids, tsunamis, 'Depends' under garments, <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Aquaman" target="_blank">Aquaman</a>. Dislikes: warm days, temperatures below freezing, the desert, straws.</li> </ul>sourse - Uncyclopedia .org</blockquote>

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