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Message: <blockquote data-quote="neroshan" data-source="post: 2693086" data-attributes="member: 8568">Beer is better...........You can enjoy a BEER all month.BEER stains wash out.You don't have to wine and dine a BEER.Your BEER will always wait patiently for you in thecar.When BEER goes flat you toss it out.BEER is never late.HANGOVERS go away.A BEER doesn't get jealous when you grab another BEER.BEER labels come off without a fight.When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick upa BEER.BEER never has a headache.After you have a BEER, the bottle is still worth anickel.A BEER won't get upset if you come home with BEER onyour breath.If you pour a BEER right, you will always get goodhead.You can have more than one BEER a night and not feelguilty.A BEER ALWAYS goes down easy.You can share a BEER with your friends.You always know that you are the first one to pop aBEER.A BEER is always wet.BEER doesn't demand equality.A BEER doesn't care when you come.You can have a BEER in public.A frigid BEER is a good BEER.You don't have to wash a BEER before it tastes good.BEER always comes in multiples of six.BEER doesn't mind being in the "wet spot" that ITleft.You can't catch anything but a "buzz" from a BEER.After you have a BEER, you're committed to nothingother than dumping the empty bottle.A BEER never costs you more than five dollars andnever leaves you thirsty.When your BEER is gone, you just pop another.You rarely (if ever) find BEER labels on the showercurtain rod.BEER looks the same in the morning.BEER doesn't look you up in a month.BEER doesn't worry about someone walking in.BEER doesn't worry about waking the kids.BEER doesn't get cramps.BEER doesn't have a mother.BEER doesn't have morals.BEER doesn't go crazy once a month.BEER always listens and never argues.BEER labels don't go out of style every year.BEER doesn't whine, it bubbles.BEER doesn't have cold hands/feet.BEER doesn't demand equality.BEER is never overweight.If you change BEERS, you don't have to pay alimony.BEER won't run off with your credit cards.BEER doesn't have a lawyer.BEER doesn't need much closet space.BEER can't give your herpes or other nasty things.BEER doesn't complain about the way you drive.BEER doesn't mind if you fart or belch.BEER never changes its mind.BEER doesn't tease you or play hard to get.BEER never asks you to change the station.BEER doesn't make you go shopping.BEER doesn't tell you to mow the grass.BEER doesn't mind seeing Chuck Norris and CharlesBronson flicks.BEER is always easy to pick up.Big, fat BEERS are nice to have.BEER doesn't pout or play games.BEER NEVER says no.BEER is easy to get into.BEER never complains when you take it somewhere.BEER doesn't need to go to the 'powder room' withother BEERSBEER doesn't wear a bra.BEER doesn't mind getting dirty.BEER doesn't complain about insensitivity.BEER doesn't use up your toilet paper.BEER doesn't live with its mother.BEER doesn't blow you off.BEER doesn't care if you have no culture or manners.BEER doesn't bitch, yell, or cry.BEER doesn't mind football season.A BEER won't make you go to church.A BEER is more likely to know how to spell"carburetor" than a woman.A BEER doesn't think baseball is stupid simply becausethe guys spit.A BEER doesn't think DOS is pronounced "dose".A BEER doesn't care if you keep a bunch of other BEERSaround.A BEER will not insist that those stupid Michelincommercials with babies are "cute".If a BEER leaks all over the room, it smells kindagood for a while.A BEER will not call you a sexist pig if you say"doberman" instead of"doberperson".A BEER won't mind being next to you after 5 straighthours of working on your car.A BEER won't claim that the Three Stooges areshitheads.A BEER won't raise a fuss about a little thing likeleaving the toilet seat up.If you mention a "three-hundred-fifty cubic-inch V8"around a BEER, it won't think you're talking about anenormous can of vegetable juice.A BEER won't whine that seatbelts hurt.A BEER won't smoke in your car.A BEER won't argue that there's no difference betweenshooting down an unidentified aircraft in a war zoneand blowing a Korean airliner out of the sky.A BEER will never buy a car with automatictransmission.A BEER will actually *support* belching and fartingand share your enthusiasm for getting them included asdemonstration sports in the 2004 Olympic Games.A BEER is always ready to leave on time.A BEER never fishes for compliments.Some BEERS (e.g. St. Pauli Girl) have fabulous tits.BEER tastes *good*.If you take a BEER outta the fridge just to look at itbut then decide to drink it, the BEER won't accuse youof "date rape".A BEER won't raise any objections to an evening ofwatching "Leeds United FC Great Goals of 1977" on yourVCR.An ice-cold BEER will nonetheless let you have yourway with it.A BEER won't make you pick up some tampons when you goto the grocery store.A BEER won't accuse you of lying when you say you readPenthouse "just for the articles". (You *are* lying,but the BEER won't accuse you of it.)A BEER won't fill up your car with cheesy 85-octanegas with the excuse:"But I saved a quarter!"A BEER won't accuse you of being a sexist pig if yousay "Gene Hackman" instead of "Gene Hackperson".A BEER won't make you eat some experimental vegetarianmeal that tastes like boiled sheetrock with tomatoesauce.When you're through with a BEER, the thought ofanother BEER doesn't make you ill.A BEER can't have a "bad hair" day.</blockquote>

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