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ElaKiri Talk!
Collection of my SMS(Indecent Jokes)
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<blockquote data-quote="Novindu" data-source="post: 6593" data-attributes="member: 718"><p>☻ This sms can only be read by a SEXY person: Try again...... Nothing? Sorry, i guess your just not SEXY..HEY! dont force it, ugly git!! </p><p></p><p>☻ Yo mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her. </p><p></p><p>☻ Ive got a tongue that'll blow ur mind let me hit u wid a 69 kiss me, caress me, slowly undress me I may seem defenceless, but baby I can fuck u senseless. </p><p></p><p>☻ Don't be sad... don't feel blue... Frankenstein was ugly too... </p><p></p><p>☻ Wat's the diff between pulling a curtain and a panty? ANS: When U pull a curtain, it means tat the show is over. But pulling down a panty means IT'S SHOWTIME! </p><p></p><p>☻ I really, deeply wish tat u r here wif me in my room, on my bed & lights is off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my.. new watch tat glow in the dark </p><p></p><p>☻ What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support people are going to think we're nuts! </p><p></p><p></p><p>☻ Why are women like parking spaces?... Bcoz the good ones are always taken and the rest are all disabled! </p><p></p><p>☻ A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home </p><p></p><p>☻ According 2 Chinese Docs, a WoMaN'S BoDy HaS Five RooMS: 1.FACE-show room 2.BOOBS-play room 3.TUMMY-store room 4.VAGINA-men's room 5.ANUS-emergency room </p><p></p><p>☻ Hi i'm an alien i'm checking for some chicks in your phonebook searching..... searching..... searching..... sorry no chicks found. conclusion, your are gay! </p><p></p><p>☻ RECIPE 4 LUV CAKE:spread legs,squeeze + massage milk pots,check frequently with midfinger,add banana,work in-out till well </p><p></p><p>☻ I once had a One2One with a virgin, she teased me till i had an Erikson, sucked me till my face went Orange, till busted my Siemen all over her Nokias! </p><p></p><p>☻ Humpty Dumpty fucked a fat whore, Humpty Dumpty blew on the floor. All the kings horses & all the kings men, laid the slut down & fucked her again! </p><p></p><p>☻ NEWSFLASH<img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/happy.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":)" title="Happy :)" data-shortname=":)" /> Earthquake in Pakistan...50,000 dead...U.S.A sending money, France sending food, Britain sending replacement paki's!!! </p><p></p><p>☻ i went for a walk with my uncle jim, when somebody threw a tomato</p><p>at him, tomatos dont hurt i replied with a grin. they fucking well</p><p>do when theyre still in the tin..... </p><p></p><p>☻ Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, spontaneous, good-looking, nice friends, charming, funny, well...Enough about ME! How about you? </p><p></p><p>☻ Beat me bash me bite my bum, ill whip u strip u til u cum, suck me fuck me lick me out, pull my nipples til i shout </p><p></p><p>☻ Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly! </p><p></p><p>☻ sex is a sensation. It's about a man's temtation, putting his location in a woman's destination. Do you understand the explanation or do you need a demonstration? </p><p></p><p>☻ BOY : May I hold your hand ??</p><p> GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy </p><p></p><p>☻ GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??</p><p> BOY : Sure, what's your phone number?? </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>☻Advantages of breast milk</p><p>A. No need to boli</p><p>B. Cat cannot steal</p><p>C.available in attractive containers</p><p>D.Liked by all age groups</p><p>E.Ek Par Ek FREE</p><p></p><p>☻23 useless things in a man's body</p><p>20 nails cannot be hammered</p><p>2 balls u cannot throw</p><p>1 cock cannot crow</p><p>Don't laugh gals ur pussy cannot catch mouse </p><p></p><p> ☻Cocktail Is it d whiskey dat makes u frisky.Is it d brandy dat makes u randy,Is it d gin dat makes u slip in,Is it d rum dat makes u cum!</p><p>☻Triplets or Twins I want triplets, You want twins, Lets get in bed and see who wins!</p><p>☻satisfy a woman HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN; caress, excite, cuddle, fascinate, spoil, kiss, rub, tease, pamper, console, worship, respect & love.HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN; blow job</p><p> </p><p>☻Life is like a dick Life is like a dick! When it's hard Fuck it!</p><p>☻Rainbow Zippy & Bungle,went 2 da jungle havin sum marvelous fun, Zippy got silly,popped out his willy & stuck it up Bungles bum!</p><p>☻Love & War LETS PLAY WAR!! You lay down and i'll blow the shit out of you!</p><p>☻Little Girl When i was a girl,i had a little quim,i sat upon my bed & put a finger in,now im a woman & full of grace & charm,I can get 4fingers in & HALF MY FUCKIN ARM!!</p><p>☻Virginity Virginity is like a balloon, one prick and it's gone forever!</p><p>☻Question Time Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur wall?</p><p>A)walnuts</p><p>Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur chest?</p><p>A)chestnuts</p><p>Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur chin?</p><p>A)a mouth full of cock!</p><p>☻The Truth QUESTION)Wots the difference between ur job & ur girlfriend?</p><p>ANSWER)ur job always sucks!!!!!</p><p>☻Pringles Sex is like a pack of Pringles! Once you pop, you can't stop!!</p><p>☻Marriage A man woz arranged 2 b married!He had a choice of 3 women!1st woz a rich docter,2nd woz a poor cleaner & 3rd woz a prostitute!WHO DID HE PICK?The 1 wiv big tits!</p><p>☻Getting Old U NO UR GETTIN OLD IF</p><p>1)if ur age woz ur shoe size theyd b a mile long</p><p>2)doin it 5 times a nite means gettin up to piss</p><p>3)the only way u get a 69 is playin bingo</p><p>☻Baby Please Of all the babes ur my selection,please dont giv me a rejection,my teeth are clean for ur inspection,so giv my mouth a tongue injection!</p><p>☻Pair of tights? HOW MANY ANIMALS CAN U FIT IN A PAIR OF TIGHTS? 10 little piggies,2 calves,1 ass,1 pussy,1 beaver,loads of hares & 1 smelly fish!</p><p>☻Sex+drugs Sex+drugs+rock+rave,lets get drunk & misbehav,on weed+speed +little e's,well get drunk & talk 2 trees,u only live once & den u die,so fuck em all & lets get high!</p><p>☻Men like toilets Y MEN R LIKE TOILETS</p><p>1)dey r always out of order</p><p>2)dey stink</p><p>3)the nice ones r always engaged</p><p>4)dey consume large amounts of liquid</p><p>5)r constantlt full of shit!</p><p>☻Mary's bush Mary Mary, quite contrary, trim that pussy its too damn hairy!!!</p><p>☻Horny Roses are red, voilets are corny, when i think of you babes it makes me so HORNY!!!</p><p>☻5 bad things 5 BAD THINGS 2 SAY 2 A NAKED GUY</p><p>1)so dis explains ur car!</p><p>2)but still work,right?</p><p>3)r u cold?</p><p>4)shood i get a pump?</p><p>5)so i guess dis makes me d early bird!</p><p>☻Hickory, dickory, dock Hickory, dickory, dock,dis bitch woz suckin me cock,da clock struck 2,i dumped me goo,& dropped her at da end of da block</p><p>☻Mary had a little lamb Mary had a little lamb,she kept it in da backyard,wen she took her panties off,his wooly dick got hard!</p><p>☻Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater,had a wife & liked to beat her,smacked her twice around da head, Fucked her arse & went 2 bed!</p><p>☻Being a student Being a student is so much fun,wen u have degrees in playin wiv tongues,if u be my teacher in how tongues flex,we'll both graduate in hot oral sex!</p><p>☻Down on her Knees Shes down on her knees,Eager to please,Wiv a throb of his nob in her gob,Wiv a tingle in his belly,his legs turn to jelly cos shes doin a fuckin good job!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Novindu, post: 6593, member: 718"] ☻ This sms can only be read by a SEXY person: Try again...... Nothing? Sorry, i guess your just not SEXY..HEY! dont force it, ugly git!! ☻ Yo mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her. ☻ Ive got a tongue that'll blow ur mind let me hit u wid a 69 kiss me, caress me, slowly undress me I may seem defenceless, but baby I can fuck u senseless. ☻ Don't be sad... don't feel blue... Frankenstein was ugly too... ☻ Wat's the diff between pulling a curtain and a panty? ANS: When U pull a curtain, it means tat the show is over. But pulling down a panty means IT'S SHOWTIME! ☻ I really, deeply wish tat u r here wif me in my room, on my bed & lights is off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my.. new watch tat glow in the dark ☻ What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support people are going to think we're nuts! ☻ Why are women like parking spaces?... Bcoz the good ones are always taken and the rest are all disabled! ☻ A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home ☻ According 2 Chinese Docs, a WoMaN'S BoDy HaS Five RooMS: 1.FACE-show room 2.BOOBS-play room 3.TUMMY-store room 4.VAGINA-men's room 5.ANUS-emergency room ☻ Hi i'm an alien i'm checking for some chicks in your phonebook searching..... searching..... searching..... sorry no chicks found. conclusion, your are gay! ☻ RECIPE 4 LUV CAKE:spread legs,squeeze + massage milk pots,check frequently with midfinger,add banana,work in-out till well ☻ I once had a One2One with a virgin, she teased me till i had an Erikson, sucked me till my face went Orange, till busted my Siemen all over her Nokias! ☻ Humpty Dumpty fucked a fat whore, Humpty Dumpty blew on the floor. All the kings horses & all the kings men, laid the slut down & fucked her again! ☻ NEWSFLASH:) Earthquake in Pakistan...50,000 dead...U.S.A sending money, France sending food, Britain sending replacement paki's!!! ☻ i went for a walk with my uncle jim, when somebody threw a tomato at him, tomatos dont hurt i replied with a grin. they fucking well do when theyre still in the tin..... ☻ Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, spontaneous, good-looking, nice friends, charming, funny, well...Enough about ME! How about you? ☻ Beat me bash me bite my bum, ill whip u strip u til u cum, suck me fuck me lick me out, pull my nipples til i shout ☻ Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly! ☻ sex is a sensation. It's about a man's temtation, putting his location in a woman's destination. Do you understand the explanation or do you need a demonstration? ☻ BOY : May I hold your hand ?? GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy ☻ GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring?? BOY : Sure, what's your phone number?? ☻Advantages of breast milk A. No need to boli B. Cat cannot steal C.available in attractive containers D.Liked by all age groups E.Ek Par Ek FREE ☻23 useless things in a man's body 20 nails cannot be hammered 2 balls u cannot throw 1 cock cannot crow Don't laugh gals ur pussy cannot catch mouse ☻Cocktail Is it d whiskey dat makes u frisky.Is it d brandy dat makes u randy,Is it d gin dat makes u slip in,Is it d rum dat makes u cum! ☻Triplets or Twins I want triplets, You want twins, Lets get in bed and see who wins! ☻satisfy a woman HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN; caress, excite, cuddle, fascinate, spoil, kiss, rub, tease, pamper, console, worship, respect & love.HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN; blow job ☻Life is like a dick Life is like a dick! When it's hard Fuck it! ☻Rainbow Zippy & Bungle,went 2 da jungle havin sum marvelous fun, Zippy got silly,popped out his willy & stuck it up Bungles bum! ☻Love & War LETS PLAY WAR!! You lay down and i'll blow the shit out of you! ☻Little Girl When i was a girl,i had a little quim,i sat upon my bed & put a finger in,now im a woman & full of grace & charm,I can get 4fingers in & HALF MY FUCKIN ARM!! ☻Virginity Virginity is like a balloon, one prick and it's gone forever! ☻Question Time Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur wall? A)walnuts Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur chest? A)chestnuts Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur chin? A)a mouth full of cock! ☻The Truth QUESTION)Wots the difference between ur job & ur girlfriend? ANSWER)ur job always sucks!!!!! ☻Pringles Sex is like a pack of Pringles! Once you pop, you can't stop!! ☻Marriage A man woz arranged 2 b married!He had a choice of 3 women!1st woz a rich docter,2nd woz a poor cleaner & 3rd woz a prostitute!WHO DID HE PICK?The 1 wiv big tits! ☻Getting Old U NO UR GETTIN OLD IF 1)if ur age woz ur shoe size theyd b a mile long 2)doin it 5 times a nite means gettin up to piss 3)the only way u get a 69 is playin bingo ☻Baby Please Of all the babes ur my selection,please dont giv me a rejection,my teeth are clean for ur inspection,so giv my mouth a tongue injection! ☻Pair of tights? HOW MANY ANIMALS CAN U FIT IN A PAIR OF TIGHTS? 10 little piggies,2 calves,1 ass,1 pussy,1 beaver,loads of hares & 1 smelly fish! ☻Sex+drugs Sex+drugs+rock+rave,lets get drunk & misbehav,on weed+speed +little e's,well get drunk & talk 2 trees,u only live once & den u die,so fuck em all & lets get high! ☻Men like toilets Y MEN R LIKE TOILETS 1)dey r always out of order 2)dey stink 3)the nice ones r always engaged 4)dey consume large amounts of liquid 5)r constantlt full of shit! ☻Mary's bush Mary Mary, quite contrary, trim that pussy its too damn hairy!!! ☻Horny Roses are red, voilets are corny, when i think of you babes it makes me so HORNY!!! ☻5 bad things 5 BAD THINGS 2 SAY 2 A NAKED GUY 1)so dis explains ur car! 2)but still work,right? 3)r u cold? 4)shood i get a pump? 5)so i guess dis makes me d early bird! ☻Hickory, dickory, dock Hickory, dickory, dock,dis bitch woz suckin me cock,da clock struck 2,i dumped me goo,& dropped her at da end of da block ☻Mary had a little lamb Mary had a little lamb,she kept it in da backyard,wen she took her panties off,his wooly dick got hard! ☻Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater,had a wife & liked to beat her,smacked her twice around da head, Fucked her arse & went 2 bed! ☻Being a student Being a student is so much fun,wen u have degrees in playin wiv tongues,if u be my teacher in how tongues flex,we'll both graduate in hot oral sex! ☻Down on her Knees Shes down on her knees,Eager to please,Wiv a throb of his nob in her gob,Wiv a tingle in his belly,his legs turn to jelly cos shes doin a fuckin good job! [/QUOTE]
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Haya warak paha keeyada? (haya wadi kireema paha)
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