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Computer Tech Support Calls
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<blockquote data-quote="Dreamworks_naveen" data-source="post: 4199728" data-attributes="member: 49393"><p>These "silly tech support calls" have been around in e-mails and online since the dawn of tech support. </p><p> </p><p>They are always fun to read. I'm in the mood for a good laugh. How 'bout you?</p><p> </p><p></p><p>**********</p><p> </p><p></p><p>Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.</p><p>Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?</p><p> </p><p>Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.</p><p>Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.</p><p> </p><p>Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... Sorry....</p><p> </p><p></p><p>**********</p><p> </p><p></p><p>Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?</p><p>Female customer: A white one...</p><p> </p><p>Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.</p><p>Customer: Your left or my left?</p><p> </p><p></p><p>**********</p><p> </p><p></p><p>Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?</p><p>Male customer: Hello... I can't print.</p><p> </p><p>Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...</p><p>Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.</p><p> </p><p></p><p>**********</p><p> </p><p></p><p>Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it... </p><p> </p><p></p><p>**********</p><p> </p><p></p><p>Customer: I have problems printing in red...</p><p>Tech support: Do you have a color printer?</p><p> </p><p>Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.</p><p> </p><p></p><p>**********</p><p> </p><p></p><p>Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?</p><p>Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.</p><p> </p><p></p><p>**********</p><p> </p><p></p><p>Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.</p><p>Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?</p><p> </p><p>Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.</p><p>Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back</p><p> </p><p>Customer: OK</p><p> </p><p>Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?</p><p>Customer: Yes</p><p> </p><p>Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?</p><p>Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...</p><p> </p><p></p><p>**********</p><p> </p><p></p><p>Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.</p><p>Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?</p><p> </p><p></p><p>**********</p><p> </p><p></p><p>Customer: I can't get on the Internet.</p><p>Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?</p><p> </p><p>Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.</p><p>Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?</p><p> </p><p>Customer: Five stars.</p><p> </p><p></p><p>**********</p><p> </p><p>Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?</p><p>Customer: Netscape.</p><p> </p><p>Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.</p><p>Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.</p><p> </p><p></p><p>**********</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.</p><p> </p><p></p><p>**********</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tech support: How may I help you?</p><p>Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.</p><p> </p><p>Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?</p><p>Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it? </p><p> </p><p></p><p>**********</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.</p><p>Tech support: Are you running it under windows?</p><p> </p><p>Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine." </p><p> </p><p></p><p>**********</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And last but not least...</p><p> </p><p></p><p>Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager"</p><p>Customer: I don't have a P.</p><p> </p><p>Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.</p><p>Customer: What do you mean?</p><p> </p><p>Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.</p><p>Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Dreamworks_naveen, post: 4199728, member: 49393"] These "silly tech support calls" have been around in e-mails and online since the dawn of tech support. They are always fun to read. I'm in the mood for a good laugh. How 'bout you? ********** Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button? Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note. Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... Sorry.... ********** Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one... Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left? ********** Tech support: Good day. How may I help you? Male customer: Hello... I can't print. Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and... Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates. ********** Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it... ********** Customer: I have problems printing in red... Tech support: Do you have a color printer? Customer: Aaaah....................thank you. ********** Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11. ********** Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back Customer: OK Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work... ********** Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters? ********** Customer: I can't get on the Internet. Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars. ********** Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use? Customer: Netscape. Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program. Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer. ********** Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears. ********** Tech support: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it? ********** A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. Tech support: Are you running it under windows? Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine." ********** And last but not least... Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager" Customer: I don't have a P. Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob. Customer: What do you mean? Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob. Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT! [/QUOTE]
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