Search
Search titles only
By:
Search titles only
By:
Log in
Register
Search
Search titles only
By:
Search titles only
By:
Menu
Install the app
Install
Forums
New posts
All threads
Latest threads
New posts
Trending threads
Trending
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New ads
New profile posts
Latest activity
Free Ads
Latest reviews
Search ads
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Contact us
Latest ads
Ad icon
Video Content Creator
pramukag
Updated:
Yesterday at 6:10 AM
Ad icon
QA Engineer Intern
pramukag
Updated:
Yesterday at 6:07 AM
Ad icon
Sell your Land, House on idamata.lk for FREE
sajith.xp.pk
Updated:
Thursday at 9:03 AM
Handmade Character Soft Toys
anil1961
Updated:
Tuesday at 2:11 PM
Bodim.lk out now !
Manoj Suranga Bandara
Updated:
Jun 21, 2026
Electronics
Vehicles
Property
Search
Reply to thread
Forums
General
ElaKiri Jokes
Corporate Lessons
Get the App
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Message
<blockquote data-quote="adult.junior" data-source="post: 13062651" data-attributes="member: 348900"><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">You may have heard these before.<img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/yes.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":yes:" title="Yes :yes:" data-shortname=":yes:" /> This is meant for those who haven</span></span><span style="font-size: 15px">'</span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">t.<img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Corporate Lesson 1</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel that you have on" After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars and leaves. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower, "Who was that?" </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">"Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: DarkRed"> Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk in time with your stakeholders, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: DarkRed"></span> </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Corporate Lesson 2</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road, he stopped and offered her a lift, which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" Once again the priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Arriving at the convent, the nun got out gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up Psalm 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: DarkRed">Moral of the story: Always be well informed in your job, or you might miss a great opportunity.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Corporate Lesson 3</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one." </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an Endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: DarkRed">Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Corporate Lesson 4</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: DarkRed">Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: DarkRed"></span> </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Corporate Lesson 5</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">A turkey was chatting with a bull.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy." </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">"Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: DarkRed">Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: DarkRed"></span> </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Corporate Lesson 6</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: DarkRed">Moral of the story:</span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: DarkRed">1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.</span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: DarkRed">2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.</span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: DarkRed">3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: DarkRed"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: DarkRed"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: DarkRed"><span style="color: Navy">SOURCE:</span></span></span></span><span style="color: Navy"><a href="http://www.berro.com/entertainment/corporate.htm" target="_blank">http://www.berro.com/entertainment/corporate.htm</a> BUT YOU MAY FIND THESE STORIES ON MANY OTHER WEBSITES TOO.</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="adult.junior, post: 13062651, member: 348900"] [FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=4]You may have heard these before.:yes: This is meant for those who haven[/SIZE][/FONT][SIZE=4]'[/SIZE][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=4]t.:lol: Corporate Lesson 1 A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel that you have on" After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars and leaves. Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?" [COLOR=DarkRed] Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk in time with your stakeholders, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure. [/COLOR] Corporate Lesson 2 A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road, he stopped and offered her a lift, which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. Changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" Once again the priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun got out gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up Psalm 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory." [COLOR=DarkRed]Moral of the story: Always be well informed in your job, or you might miss a great opportunity.[/COLOR] Corporate Lesson 3 A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone. In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an Endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch." [COLOR=DarkRed]Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say[/COLOR] Corporate Lesson 4 A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. [COLOR=DarkRed]Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. [/COLOR] Corporate Lesson 5 A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree. [COLOR=DarkRed]Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there. [/COLOR] Corporate Lesson 6 A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him. [COLOR=DarkRed]Moral of the story: 1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy. 2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. 3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut! [COLOR=Navy]SOURCE:[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=Navy][URL]http://www.berro.com/entertainment/corporate.htm[/URL] BUT YOU MAY FIND THESE STORIES ON MANY OTHER WEBSITES TOO.[/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Nawa warak dahaya keeyada? (Namaya wadi kireema dahaya)
Post reply
Top
Bottom