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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Ranhiru" data-source="post: 865419" data-attributes="member: 17748">Sorry if this is a repost! Employee Rules and Regulations      *Dress  Code* It is  advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see  you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well  financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you  need to learn to manage your money better,so that you may buy nicer clothes, and  therefore do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right  where you need to be and therefore do not need a raise. ************    *Sick  Days* We  will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you  are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to  work. ************ *Personal  Days* Each  employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and  Sunday. ************ *Toilet  Use* Entirely  too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute  time limit in the stalls. At the end of the three minutes, an alarm will  sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a  picture will be taken. After your second offence, your picture will be  posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category".  Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the  company's mental health policy! You are allowed to use the rest room  only thrice a day and you have to swipe in and out from the toilet doors  also. ************ *Lunch  Break* Skinny  people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look  healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced  meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for  lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a slim  fast. ************ *Mails* Don't  read junk and forwarded mails. ************ Thank you for  your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment  experience. Therefore, All questions, comments,concerns, complaints,  frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations,  contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.  The  Management. ************ <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL    :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL    :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL    :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL    :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL    :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL    :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL    :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL    :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL    :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL    :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL    :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL    :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL    :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL    :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL    :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL    :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL    :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /> </blockquote>

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