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Message: <blockquote data-quote="mudrana" data-source="post: 6944014" data-attributes="member: 17378">Ever wonder in your  relationship, how 'the fight' started....:       One year, a  husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a   cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...     The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.    When she asked  him why, he replied,    "Well, you still haven't used the gift  I bought you last year!"    And that's how the fight started...     ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -      My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while  we were in   bed.    I turned to  her and said, 'Do you want  to have sex?'     'No,' she answered.     I then said, 'Is  that your final answer?'    She didn't even look at me this time, simply  saying 'Yes.'    So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'     And that's when the fight started...     ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -      I took my wife to a restaurant.    The waiter, for some  reason, took my order first.    'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare,  please.'    He said,  'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'     'Nah, she can order for herself.'    And that's when the  fight started...     ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -  ----     My  wife sat  down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.     She asked, 'What's on TV?'    I said, 'Dust.'     And  then the fight started...     ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -   My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming  anniversary. .     She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0  to 200 in about 3  seconds.'     I bought her a scale.    And  then the fight started...     ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -   My wife and I were sitting at a  table at her high school  reunion, and she  kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as  he sat alone at a  nearby table.     I asked her, 'Do you  know him?'    'Yes,' she sighed,     'He's my old  boyfriend... .I understand he took to drinking right after we split up  those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'     'My goodness!'     I said, 'Who would think a  person could go on celebrating that long?'     And then the  fight  started....     ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -  ----     I rear-ended a car this  morning... So, there we were  alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.     You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things  just  seem funny?    Yeah, well I couldn't believe  it...  he was a DWARF!!!    He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and  shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'    So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well,  then which one are you?'     And then the fight started....     ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -     THE BROKEN LAWN  MOWER:    When our lawn mower broke  and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me  that I should get it  fixed.    But, somehow I always had something else to take care of  first, the truck,   the car, playing golf.  Always something  more important to me.     Finally she thought of a clever way to  make her point.    When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the  tall grass,  busily   snipping away with a tiny pair of  sewing  scissors.I  watched silently for    a short time and then went into the  house. I was gone only a minute, and  when I  came out again I  handed her a toothbrush.     I said, 'When you finish cutting the  grass, you might as well sweep the  driveway.'    The doctors say I will  walk again, but I will always have a limp.  ============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ========</blockquote>

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