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<blockquote data-quote="kpg" data-source="post: 4233885" data-attributes="member: 104262"><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">These are extracts from (supposedly) actual letters sent to Leicester</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">council and Housing Associations :</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">1. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">knob off.</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">2. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">his foot in the hole in his back passage.</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">3. And their 18-year-old son is continually banging his balls against my</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">fence.</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">4. I wish to report that the tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof.</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">I think it was that bad wind the other night that blew them off.</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">5. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">6. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path, my wife tripped and</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">7. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen. 50% of the</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the rest are plain filthy.</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">8. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">cleared.</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">9. Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a funny color and</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">not fit to drink.</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">10. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">11. I want to complain about the farmer across the road, every morning at</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">6:00 am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">12. The man next door has a large erection in the garden, which is unsightly</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">and dangerous.</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">13. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two small children and would like a</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">third so please send someone round to do something about it.</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">14. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night.</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">15. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #0000ff">wife</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="kpg, post: 4233885, member: 104262"] [CENTER][B][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff]These are extracts from (supposedly) actual letters sent to Leicester council and Housing Associations : 1. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off. 2. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage. 3. And their 18-year-old son is continually banging his balls against my fence. 4. I wish to report that the tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was that bad wind the other night that blew them off. 5. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall. 6. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path, my wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant. 7. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the rest are plain filthy. 8. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared. 9. Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a funny color and not fit to drink. 10. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces. 11. I want to complain about the farmer across the road, every morning at 6:00 am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me. 12. The man next door has a large erection in the garden, which is unsightly and dangerous. 13. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two small children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it. 14. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night. 15. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [/CENTER] [/QUOTE]
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