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<blockquote data-quote="hacker" data-source="post: 27537" data-attributes="member: 474"><p><strong>Call Center Replies LOL!!</strong></p><p></p><p>PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE cALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO</p><p>MUCH......FOR JUST</p><p>BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK:</p><p></p><p>1). Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the</p><p>Open Desktop."</p><p></p><p>Customer "Ok."</p><p></p><p>Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"</p><p></p><p>Customer: "No."</p><p></p><p>Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a</p><p> pop-up menu?"</p><p></p><p>Customer "No."</p><p></p><p>Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you</p><p> have done up until</p><p>this point?"</p><p></p><p>Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I</p><p> wrote 'click'."</p><p></p><p>--------------------------------------------------</p><p>2) Customer: "I received the software update you</p><p> sent, but I am still</p><p>getting the same error message."</p><p></p><p>Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"</p><p></p><p>Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to</p><p> get it to work?"</p><p></p><p>--------------------------------------------------</p><p></p><p>3).Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing</p><p> Microsoft Word."</p><p></p><p>Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."</p><p></p><p>Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."</p><p></p><p>Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me</p><p> what it says."</p><p></p><p>Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and</p><p> Recovery disk'."</p><p></p><p>Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."</p><p></p><p>Customer:: "What?"</p><p></p><p>Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"</p><p></p><p>Customer: "No..."</p><p></p><p>--------------------------------------------------</p><p></p><p>4).Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your</p><p> software?"</p><p></p><p>Tech Support:: ?!%#$</p><p></p><p>--------------------------------------------------</p><p></p><p>5).Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side</p><p> of the screen,</p><p>canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?"</p><p></p><p>Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from</p><p> there?"</p><p></p><p>--------------------------------------------------</p><p></p><p>6) Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you</p><p> have?"</p><p></p><p>Customer:: "A white one."</p><p></p><p>--------------------------------------------------</p><p></p><p>7). Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."</p><p></p><p>Customer:: "How do you spell that?"</p><p></p><p>--------------------------------------------------</p><p></p><p>8). Tech Support: "What's on your screen right</p><p> now?"</p><p></p><p>Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got</p><p> me at the grocery store."</p><p></p><p>--------------------------------------------------</p><p></p><p>9). Tech Support:: "What operating system are you</p><p> running?"</p><p></p><p>Customer: "Pentium."</p><p></p><p>--------------------------------------------------</p><p></p><p>10). Customer: "My computer's telling me I</p><p> performed an illegal abortion."</p><p></p><p>--------------------------------------------------</p><p></p><p>11).Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."</p><p></p><p>--------------------------------------------------</p><p></p><p>12).Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"</p><p></p><p>--------------------------------------------------</p><p></p><p>13). Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I</p><p> urgently need to</p><p>print document, but the computer won't boot</p><p> properly."</p><p></p><p>Tech Support: "What does it say?"</p><p></p><p>Customer: "Something about an error and non-system</p><p> disk."</p><p></p><p>Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a</p><p> floppy inside?"</p><p></p><p>Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's</p><p> an Intel inside."</p><p></p><p>--------------------------------------------------</p><p></p><p>14). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a</p><p> problem. We're open</p><p>24 hours."</p><p></p><p>Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"</p><p></p><p>--------------------------------------------------</p><p></p><p>15). Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?"</p><p></p><p>Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."</p><p></p><p>Tech Support:: "Well?"</p><p></p><p>Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"</p><p></p><p>--------------------------------------------------</p><p></p><p>16). A plain computer illeterate guy rings tech</p><p> support to report that</p><p>his computer is faulty.</p><p></p><p>Tech: What's the problem?</p><p></p><p>User: There is smoke coming out of the power</p><p> supply.</p><p></p><p>Tech: You'll need a new power supply.</p><p></p><p>User: No, I don't! I just need to change the</p><p> startup files.</p><p></p><p>Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need</p><p> to replace it.</p><p></p><p>User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to</p><p> change the startup</p><p>and it will fix the</p><p>problem! All I need is for you to tell me the</p><p> command.</p><p></p><p>10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he</p><p> is right. The tech</p><p>is frustrated and fed up.</p><p></p><p>Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our</p><p> customers this, but there</p><p>is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the</p><p> problem.</p><p></p><p>User: I knew it!</p><p></p><p>Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end</p><p> of the CONFIG.SYS.</p><p></p><p>Letme know how it goes.</p><p></p><p>10 minutes later.</p><p></p><p>User: It didn't work. The power supply is still</p><p> smoking.</p><p></p><p>Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?</p><p></p><p>User: MS-DOS 6.22.</p><p></p><p>Tech: That's your problem there. That version of</p><p> DOS didn't come with</p><p>NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch</p><p> that will give you</p><p>the file. Let me know how it goes.</p><p></p><p>1 hour later.</p><p></p><p>User: I need a new power supply.</p><p></p><p>Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?</p><p></p><p>User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about</p><p> what you said, and he</p><p>started asking questions about the make of power</p><p> supply.</p><p></p><p>Tech: Then what did he say?</p><p></p><p>User: He told me that my power supply isn't</p><p> compatible with NOSMOKE.</p><p></p><p>-------------------------------------------------</p><p>17) customer care officer:I need a product</p><p> identification no: right</p><p>now and may I help u in finding it out?</p><p>Cust: sure</p><p>CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My</p><p> Computer'?</p><p>Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find</p><p> your computer?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hacker, post: 27537, member: 474"] [b]Call Center Replies LOL!![/b] PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE cALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH......FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK: 1). Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop." Customer "Ok." Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No." Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?" Customer "No." Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?" Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'." -------------------------------------------------- 2) Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message." Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?" Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?" -------------------------------------------------- 3).Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word." Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done." Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'." Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says." Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'." Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk." Customer:: "What?" Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?" Customer: "No..." -------------------------------------------------- 4).Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?" Tech Support:: ?!%#$ -------------------------------------------------- 5).Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?" Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?" -------------------------------------------------- 6) Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?" Customer:: "A white one." -------------------------------------------------- 7). Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt." Customer:: "How do you spell that?" -------------------------------------------------- 8). Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?" Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store." -------------------------------------------------- 9). Tech Support:: "What operating system are you running?" Customer: "Pentium." -------------------------------------------------- 10). Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion." -------------------------------------------------- 11).Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder." -------------------------------------------------- 12).Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?" -------------------------------------------------- 13). Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly." Tech Support: "What does it say?" Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk." Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?" Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside." -------------------------------------------------- 14). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours." Customer: "Is that Eastern time?" -------------------------------------------------- 15). Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?" Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'." Tech Support:: "Well?" Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?" -------------------------------------------------- 16). A plain computer illeterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty. Tech: What's the problem? User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply. Tech: You'll need a new power supply. User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files. Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it. User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command. 10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up. Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem. User: I knew it! Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Letme know how it goes. 10 minutes later. User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking. Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using? User: MS-DOS 6.22. Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes. 1 hour later. User: I need a new power supply. Tech: How did you come to that conclusion? User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply. Tech: Then what did he say? User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE. ------------------------------------------------- 17) customer care officer:I need a product identification no: right now and may I help u in finding it out? Cust: sure CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'? Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer? [/QUOTE]
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