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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Scarface" data-source="post: 16355462" data-attributes="member: 150267">marry a nympho <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL    :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" />how to spot a nymphoStep One: Listen and Observe Listen as I am approached by numerous guys who, much to my disappointment, come up to me and pretty much say "<a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/UnPoetia:Show_Me_Your_Tits%21" target="_blank">How are you doing?</a>"   <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/HowTo:Pick_Up_a_Nymphomaniac?action=edit&section=4" target="_blank">edit</a> So that's it. All they say is "How are you doing?" How the hell is this supposed to help me? You're missing the point. They don't just say "How are you doing."  They slur it and make into one word like "Haayadoin." That's it. That's  all you have to say. Just try it out. If a nympho is interested, she  will answer back and you'll be on your way. Your face is saying you're a skeptical lad. Just think, I might have sex with you out of pity if it doesn't work.  <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/HowTo:Pick_Up_a_Nymphomaniac?action=edit&section=5" target="_blank">edit</a> OK, I'll give it a try! That's  a good <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Dildo" target="_blank">boy</a>...  <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/HowTo:Pick_Up_a_Nymphomaniac?action=edit&section=6" target="_blank">edit</a> Step Two: Try and Apply The next time you see a good looking nymphomaniac sitting by herself  at a bar, sit down beside her. When she turns to look at you, smile and  say, "Haayadoin?" To your amazement, she will most likely respond in kind, smiling at you. See how easy the <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Hook" target="_blank">hook</a> was set? The conversation was started and you reeled her in with such ease!  <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/HowTo:Pick_Up_a_Nymphomaniac?action=edit&section=7" target="_blank">edit</a> Wow, all these years of trying to think of some clever approach, and that's all it took! Yes, but I digress... And you still need to know how to spot  one, remember? Unfortunately nymphos are very rare and it is very hard  to detect one at first sight, but there are scientifically proven and  statistically confirmed indicators that can assist you on your quest to  conquer a nympho.  <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/File:FemOrg101.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://slot1.images.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb1393609173/common/skins/common/images/magnify-clip.png" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></a>An actual portrait of a real-life Nymphomaniac! <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/HowTo:Pick_Up_a_Nymphomaniac?action=edit&section=8" target="_blank">edit</a>  Natural Appearance And Characteristics  The nympho is rather unobtrusive and of average looks, but definitely  not ugly. Nobody would guess from her looks that she was given this  fantastic, and breathtaking gift. That is also why there are almost no  nymphos to be found in <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Television" target="_blank">television</a> and <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Cinema" target="_blank">cinema</a>... Well, that and the fact that they are always too busy. Your attention on the <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Dance_Dance_Revolution" target="_blank">dancefloor</a>  should always especially be drawn to any particularly attractive, slim,  animated female, surrounded by a group of admirers and obviously the  life of the party. Certainly not someone who was approachable by the  likes of you before today, especially since you had not yet learned the <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Automagically" target="_blank">magical</a> Nymphomaniac greeting phrase.      <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/File:Gorillatrans.gif" target="_blank"><img src="http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20060120040838/uncyclopedia/images/thumb/8/8c/Gorillatrans.gif/50px-Gorillatrans.gif" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></a>  HowTo This article is part of Uncyclopedia's <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/HowTo" target="_blank">HowTo</a> series.<a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Category:HowTo" target="_blank">See more HowTos</a>  <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/HowTo:Pick_Up_a_Nymphomaniac?action=edit&section=9" target="_blank">edit</a>  Natural Occurence  Nymphos do not show off how many sexual partners or/and <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Sex" target="_blank">sex</a>  they have had. They would never even understand the idea of being a  nympho. Women who tell you they are nymphos are usually only <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Wife" target="_blank">pretending</a> and in fact, hugely <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Marriage" target="_blank">disappointing</a>.  They are usually finished after only the third orgasm (a real  nymphomaniac will be ready for at least seven unless you are hideously  ugly) and fall asleep. A natural nympho is ready all the time, anywhere  and anyway. As your gaze wanders around the floor, look for a female at  the opposite end of the greek alphabet who might actually be  approachable, and suddenly there might be an alpha female right in front  of you, actually saying something TO YOU! You may want to look around  to see if it was you she was really talking to or just talking through  you at some alpha male standing behind you. When you realize she is  talking to you, just stupidly say, "What?" Maybe she will ask you to dance. Whatever you do, don't crack any jokes that run through your silly <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Marmot" target="_blank">brain</a>. If you can, manage to say "Sure," or "You bet."   <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/HowTo:Pick_Up_a_Nymphomaniac?action=edit&section=10" target="_blank">edit</a> Step Three: Sealing the Deal This should really be a no-brainer. At the end of the evening,  ask if you can give her a ride home. Call her 'Chickie' if you don't  know her real name. (It's Pat!) If she is really a nymphomaniac, her  girlfriend drove and she is probably telling you that you are going to  take her home.  If you get to know her, you might learn that it is  really just her modus operandi not to drive, so that if she meets a guy,  she can be free to leave with him.<a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/HowTo:Pick_Up_a_Nymphomaniac#cite_note-0" target="_blank">[1]</a>  She probably lives not very far from the bar, on a fairly busy street.  If parked in front of her house, wondering if you should chance an  attempt at a goodnight kiss, she may very well just start  kissing you  and rubbing herself up against you, saying things like:  "Please do me a favor and make me cum.<a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/HowTo:Pick_Up_a_Nymphomaniac#cite_note-1" target="_blank">[2]</a>"  Or, the ever popular:  "I have to have an orgasm every night or I can't sleep." <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/File:Dreamgirl.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090319073015/uncyclopedia/images/b/b5/Dreamgirl.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></a>  <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/File:Dreamgirl.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://slot1.images.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb1393609173/common/skins/common/images/magnify-clip.png" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></a>Know a little about Zodiac Signs. Works like a charm, every time. Theoretically with nymphos you have nothing but <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Sex" target="_blank">sex</a>. Good long damn good sex. You feel like you are in a <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Pornography" target="_blank">porno movie</a>.  In any event, you must quickly comply and slip your hand under her  skirt and inside her panties, which should already be soaked from  anticipation. If you can give her a moaning, thrashing orgasm, she will  most likely give you her phone number, leaving you in a state of <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Blue_balls" target="_blank">aroused shock</a>.  <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/HowTo:Pick_Up_a_Nymphomaniac" target="_blank">http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/HowTo:Pick_Up_a_Nymphomaniac</a></blockquote>

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