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ElaKiri Jokes
how to catch a lion..?
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<blockquote data-quote="RajNOX" data-source="post: 3886622" data-attributes="member: 144663"><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong>Newton 's Method:</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Let, the lion catch you.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Implies you caught lion.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">********************</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong>Einstein Method:</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong></strong></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Now you can trap it easily.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">********************</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong>Software Engineer Method:</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">********************</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong>Indian Police Method:</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong></strong></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion .</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">********************</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong>Rajnikanth Method :</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">********************</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong>Jayalalitha Method:</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping !</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">********************</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong>Manirathnam Method (director):</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Keep murmuring something in its ears.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">********************</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong>Karan Johar Method (director):</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong></strong></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Send a lioness into the forest.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">But 2nd lioness loves both lions.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Now send another lioness (third) into the forest.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">You don't understand right... Ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont!</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">********************</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong>Yash Chopra method (director):</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Take the lion to Australia or US.. And kill it in a good scenic location.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">********************</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong>Govinda method:</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days. The Lion will drop dead just watching!</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">********************</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong>Menaka Gandhi method:</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">********************</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong>George bush method:</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">********************</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong>Ravi Shastri method:</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Ask the lion to bowl at u.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Lion tired and surrenders</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">********************</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RajNOX, post: 3886622, member: 144663"] [SIZE="4"][B]Newton 's Method:[/B] Let, the lion catch you. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Implies you caught lion. ******************** [B] Einstein Method: [/B] Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion. Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it easily. ******************** [B]Software Engineer Method:[/B] Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion. If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion. ******************** [B] Indian Police Method: [/B] Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion . ******************** [B]Rajnikanth Method :[/B] Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime. The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself. ******************** [B] Jayalalitha Method:[/B] Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping ! ******************** [B]Manirathnam Method (director):[/B] Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted. Keep murmuring something in its ears. The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide. ******************** [B]Karan Johar Method (director): [/B] Send a lioness into the forest. Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other. Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion. First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness. But 2nd lioness loves both lions. Now send another lioness (third) into the forest. You don't understand right... Ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont! ******************** [B] Yash Chopra method (director):[/B] Take the lion to Australia or US.. And kill it in a good scenic location. ******************** [B]Govinda method:[/B] Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days. The Lion will drop dead just watching! ******************** [B]Menaka Gandhi method:[/B] Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously. ******************** [B] George bush method:[/B] Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!! ******************** [B] Ravi Shastri method:[/B] Ask the lion to bowl at u. U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run Lion tired and surrenders ********************[/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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