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ElaKiri Talk!
HUSBANDS & WIVES- VERY Funny
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<blockquote data-quote="gepa" data-source="post: 12654787" data-attributes="member: 152826"><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Red">I am dying</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Husband texts to wife on cell..</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">"Hi, what r u doing Darling?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Wife: I'm dying..!</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair.."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Husband: "Bloody English Language!</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Angry wife to her husband</span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: red">An Angry Wife To Her Husband 0n Phone:</span></span> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">"Where d Hell Are You ...?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Husband: Darling You Remember That Jewellery Shop Where You Saw The Diamond Necklace n Totally Fell In Love With It n I Didn't Have Money That Time n I said "Baby It'll Be Yours 1 Day ... "O<img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/happy.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":)" title="Happy :)" data-shortname=":)" /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Wife, With A Smile & Blushing: Yeah I Remember That My Love!</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Husband: I 'm in the Pub Just Next To That Shop</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: red">A Special Package for Business Men.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">An Airline Introduced A Special Package For Business Men. Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife's Ticket Free. After Great Success, The Company Sent Letters To All The Wives Asking How Was The Trip.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">All Of Them Gave A Same Reply..."Which Trip?"</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-size: 15px">Husband was seriously ill</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Husband was seriously ill. Doc to wife: Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant & in gud mood, don't discuss ur problems, no tv serial, don't demand new clothes & gold jewels,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Do this for 1 yr & he will be ok.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">On the way home.. Husband: what did the doc say ?</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Wife:- .No chance for u to survive</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-size: 15px">An intelligent wife</span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">''An Intelligent Wife Is One Who Makes Sure She Spends So Much</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">That Her Husband Can't Afford Another Women"</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: red">New SIM to surprise her husband</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Woman Buys A New Sim Card Puts It In Her Phone And Decides To Surprise Her Husband Who Is Seated On The Couch In The Living Room. She Goes To The Kitchen, Calls Her Husband With The New Number: "Hello Darling"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">The Husband Responds In A Low Tone: "Let Me Call U Back Later Honey, The Dumb Lady Is In The Kitchen..</span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: red">Wife treats husband</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">A Wife Treats Hubby By Taking Him To A Lap Dance Club For His Birthday ..</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">At The Club: Doorman Says: Hi Jim How R You?</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Wife Asks: How Does He Know You? </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Jim Says: Oh Dear, I Play Football with Him</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Inside Barman Says: The Usual Jim ? </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Jim Says To Wife: Before You Say Anything, He's On the Darts Team in My Local</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Next A Lap Dancer Says: Hi Jim </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Do You Crave Special Again?</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">The Wife Storms Out Dragging Jim With Her & Jumps Into A Taxi..</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Driver Says "Hey Jimmy Boy, You Picked Up An Ugly One This Time.."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Jim's Funeral Is On Sunday</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-size: 15px">Cool message by a wife</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: red"><span style="color: Black"><span style="font-size: 12px">Cool Msg by a woman: Dear Mother-in-law, "Don't Teach me how 2 handle my children, I'm living with one of yours & he needs a lot of improvement"</span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: red"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-size: 15px">Sweet demand by kid</span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">A Sweet demand by a kid. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">A kid was beaten by his mom. Dad came n asked - what happen son? </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Kid said-I can't adjust with your wife anymore, I want my own.</span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="color: Red"><span style="font-size: 15px">Lion bounced on wife</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">In an African Safari, A LION suddenly bounced on Santa's wife. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">WIFE: Shoot him! Shoot him! </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">SANTA: Yes, Yes. I'm changing d battery of my camera..</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: red"> </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: red">Throwing knives on wife's picture</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Husband was throwing knives on wife's picture. All were missing the target! </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Suddenly he received call from her "Hi, what r u doing?" </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">His honest reply, "MISSING U"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">I will think about it</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">When a married man says "I'll think about it",</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">What he really means that, He doesn't know his wife's opinion yet..</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: red">Habbit of talking in sleep</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">A Lady to Doctor: </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">My husband has habit of talking in sleep! what shud i give him to cure? </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Dr: Give him an Opportunity to speak wen hez awake</span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-size: 15px"> </span></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-size: 15px">Part & Art of living</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Having "WIFE" Is A Part Of Living...</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">But Having "GIRLFRIEND" Along With The "WIFE" Is Art Of Living.</span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="color: red"><span style="font-size: 15px">Head & Neck of the family</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">It is said that Husband is the head of the family, but remember that wife is the Neck of the family & the Neck can turn the Head exactly the way she wants.</span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Wife: Do you want dinner?</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Wife: Do you want dinner? </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Husband: Sure, what are my choices? </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Wife: Yes and no.</span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: red">What is the Difference between Mother & Wife?</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">What is the Difference between Mother & Wife? </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U Continue to do so.</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gepa, post: 12654787, member: 152826"] [SIZE="4"][COLOR="Red"]I am dying[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE="3"]Husband texts to wife on cell.. "Hi, what r u doing Darling?" Wife: I'm dying..! Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?" Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair.." Husband: "Bloody English Language! Angry wife to her husband[/SIZE] [SIZE="4"][COLOR="red"]An Angry Wife To Her Husband 0n Phone:[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE="3"]"Where d Hell Are You ...?" Husband: Darling You Remember That Jewellery Shop Where You Saw The Diamond Necklace n Totally Fell In Love With It n I Didn't Have Money That Time n I said "Baby It'll Be Yours 1 Day ... "O:) Wife, With A Smile & Blushing: Yeah I Remember That My Love! Husband: I 'm in the Pub Just Next To That Shop[/SIZE] [SIZE="4"][COLOR="red"]A Special Package for Business Men.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE="3"] An Airline Introduced A Special Package For Business Men. Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife's Ticket Free. After Great Success, The Company Sent Letters To All The Wives Asking How Was The Trip. All Of Them Gave A Same Reply..."Which Trip?"[/SIZE] [COLOR="red"][SIZE="4"]Husband was seriously ill[/SIZE][/COLOR] [SIZE="3"] Husband was seriously ill. Doc to wife: Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant & in gud mood, don't discuss ur problems, no tv serial, don't demand new clothes & gold jewels, Do this for 1 yr & he will be ok. On the way home.. Husband: what did the doc say ? Wife:- .No chance for u to survive[/SIZE] [COLOR="red"][SIZE="4"]An intelligent wife [/SIZE][/COLOR] [SIZE="3"]''An Intelligent Wife Is One Who Makes Sure She Spends So Much That Her Husband Can't Afford Another Women"[/SIZE] [SIZE="4"][COLOR="red"]New SIM to surprise her husband[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE="3"] Woman Buys A New Sim Card Puts It In Her Phone And Decides To Surprise Her Husband Who Is Seated On The Couch In The Living Room. She Goes To The Kitchen, Calls Her Husband With The New Number: "Hello Darling" The Husband Responds In A Low Tone: "Let Me Call U Back Later Honey, The Dumb Lady Is In The Kitchen.. [/SIZE] [SIZE="4"][COLOR="red"]Wife treats husband[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE="3"]A Wife Treats Hubby By Taking Him To A Lap Dance Club For His Birthday .. At The Club: Doorman Says: Hi Jim How R You? Wife Asks: How Does He Know You? Jim Says: Oh Dear, I Play Football with Him Inside Barman Says: The Usual Jim ? Jim Says To Wife: Before You Say Anything, He's On the Darts Team in My Local Next A Lap Dancer Says: Hi Jim Do You Crave Special Again? The Wife Storms Out Dragging Jim With Her & Jumps Into A Taxi.. Driver Says "Hey Jimmy Boy, You Picked Up An Ugly One This Time.." Jim's Funeral Is On Sunday[/SIZE] [COLOR="red"][SIZE="4"]Cool message by a wife[/SIZE][/COLOR] [SIZE="4"][COLOR="red"][COLOR="Black"][SIZE="3"]Cool Msg by a woman: Dear Mother-in-law, "Don't Teach me how 2 handle my children, I'm living with one of yours & he needs a lot of improvement"[/SIZE][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE] [COLOR="red"][SIZE="4"] Sweet demand by kid [/SIZE][/COLOR] [SIZE="3"]A Sweet demand by a kid. A kid was beaten by his mom. Dad came n asked - what happen son? Kid said-I can't adjust with your wife anymore, I want my own. [/SIZE] [COLOR="Red"][SIZE="4"]Lion bounced on wife[/SIZE][/COLOR] [SIZE="3"] In an African Safari, A LION suddenly bounced on Santa's wife. WIFE: Shoot him! Shoot him! SANTA: Yes, Yes. I'm changing d battery of my camera..[/SIZE] [SIZE="4"][COLOR="red"] Throwing knives on wife's picture[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE="3"]Husband was throwing knives on wife's picture. All were missing the target! Suddenly he received call from her "Hi, what r u doing?" His honest reply, "MISSING U" I will think about it When a married man says "I'll think about it", What he really means that, He doesn't know his wife's opinion yet..[/SIZE] [SIZE="4"][COLOR="red"]Habbit of talking in sleep[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE="3"]A Lady to Doctor: My husband has habit of talking in sleep! what shud i give him to cure? Dr: Give him an Opportunity to speak wen hez awake [/SIZE] [COLOR="red"][SIZE="4"] Part & Art of living[/SIZE][/COLOR] [SIZE="3"]Having "WIFE" Is A Part Of Living... But Having "GIRLFRIEND" Along With The "WIFE" Is Art Of Living. [/SIZE] [COLOR="red"][SIZE="4"]Head & Neck of the family[/SIZE][/COLOR] [SIZE="3"]It is said that Husband is the head of the family, but remember that wife is the Neck of the family & the Neck can turn the Head exactly the way she wants. [/SIZE] [SIZE="4"]Wife: Do you want dinner?[/SIZE] [SIZE="3"] Wife: Do you want dinner? Husband: Sure, what are my choices? Wife: Yes and no. [/SIZE] [SIZE="4"][COLOR="red"]What is the Difference between Mother & Wife?[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE="3"]What is the Difference between Mother & Wife? A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U Continue to do so.[/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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