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Message: <blockquote data-quote="nukisl" data-source="post: 160405" data-attributes="member: 3314">The top ten reasons why the television is better than the World Wide Web10. It doesn't take minutes to build the picture when you change TV channels.9. When was the last time you tuned in to "Melrose Place" and got a "Error 404" message?8. There are fewer grating color schemes on TV--even on MTV.7. The family never argues over which Web site to visit this evening.6. A remote control has fewer buttons than a keyboard.5. Even the worst TV shows never excuse themselves with an "Under Construction" sign.4. Seinfeld never slows down when a lot of people tune in.3. You just can't find those cool Health Rider infomercials on the Web.2. Set-top boxes don't beep and whine when you hook up to HBO.1. You can't surf the Web from a couch with a beer in one hand and Doritos in the other.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------AOL addiction poemMy computer broke down.It crashed and burned!And for my AOL, I really yearned! I tried to stay busy...And keep it off my mind.It was worse than cigarettes, at least butts I can find!! So I went to Wal-Mart, and got on their pc.The cashier in electronics was staring at me.But I didn't care. I had to get on line! Check my mail, and see what buddies I can find.I drew a crowd as I began to cry.I couldn't find the password no matter how hard I tried! I need my AOL!! I got to have my fix!!Go to my favorite places, check out some cool pics.The cashier called Security! I heard her whisper low, "We have ourselves a Psycho here and she has got to go!"Security rushed over. Not long did he stall.Obviously he has never suffered from AOL withdrawal. He slapped cuffs on my wrists and threw me out the door!Then he looked at me and said, "Don't come round here no more!"I feel so embarrassed!! I have sunk so low! To be kicked out of Wal-Mart.... How low can I go?So I'll try really hard now to rid myself of this affliction.Get rid of these bad habits and my AOL addiction!--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Surfing the InternetSurfin' the NetSo I think I'm in the clearthe boss is no where in sightI logon to the web and start to surfand then my hair stands up with frightthe footsteps coming down the hallare quickening in pacethere is no time to exitno way to save my faceso I press the power buttonand relax just a bitthere is no way he can tellexactly what I hitI act all surpriseddon't know why my machine died"simply unpredictable thesecomputers are!" I cried"So we'll get you a new onea computer that won't crash" he exclaimsDo you think he'll wonderwhen the new one acts the same?--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Oh the Internet is slowThe Net is SlowOh, the network outside is frightful,But on campus, it's so delightful,Our packets have nowhere to go,Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow.It doesn't show signs of stopping,All our packets, our hosts are dropping;Bandwidth is turned way down low,Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow.When we finally connect to a site,It's time to go back to the dorm;But if I could stay here all night,I could submit their Web form.The network is slowly dying,And, I fear, we're still denying,But as long as Sprint is the way to go,Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow.</blockquote>

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