Jokes ZoneVisiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby.
"This," she said, "I suppose, is one of those worst representations I have ever seen, you call this a modern art?"
"No, madam," replied the attendant. "That one's called a mirror."
Three Feelings:
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and
Panic is when both are pregnant.
A tap on the driver:
A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something....
The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window....
For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, then the driver said, "Please, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me."
The passenger, who was also frightened, apologized and said he didn't realize that a tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.
To which the driver replied, "I'm sorry, it's really not your fault at all. Today is my first day driving a cab. I have been driving a hearse (Coffin Van) for the last 25 years."
After 25 yrs wife said: Do u remember when u proposed me,
I was so overwhelmed I didnt talk for 1 hour
hubby:Yes dear that was happiest hour of my life!
Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means
Without Information, Fighting Everytime!
WIFE says: No darling , it means :-
With Idiot For Ever
wife:honey,what r u looking 4?
husband: nothing
wife:why have u been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ?
husband: i was just looking 4 the expiry date ......
Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire? "
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman..
Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"
Teacher: "Children, tomorrow I would like you to give me an example of a development that is >currently being built near your home and what are the advantages of this new development."
At the end of the class, the teacher asks that all the little girls remain behind for 5 minutes.
Teacher: "Young ladies, I have received numerous complaints from your parents concerning Little Johnny's' crude remarks. It is very likely that for tomorrow he is going to say something dirty and that is why I am asking you all, to avoid any further problems, when he says anything that appears rude, to get up and leave the class room"
Everybody agreed to this plan.
Next day, teacher: "Is everybody ready with their assignment? Go ahead Anna"
Anna: "Near my home, a supermarket is being built. Now my mommy doesn't
have to walk so far to get bread and milk."
Teacher: "Very good Anna! Yes Koosie!"
Koosie: "Near my home, they are building a furniture factory. My addy is
a carpenter and this permits him to work near home"
Teacher: "Excellent, thank you Koosie!"
At this point, little Johnny's hand shoots up and the teacher asks:
"Oh heavens, tell me Johnny what new development is being built near your home."
Little Johnny: "Near my home, they are building a brothel"
As all the young ladies get up and proceed to leave, Little Johnny says,
"Hold it, you little whores, it hasn't opened yet!"
honda nam rep ekak/comment ekak daala yanna
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