Husband texts to wife on cell..
"Hi, what r u doing Darling?"
Wife: I'm dying..!
Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?"
Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair.."
Husband: "…………….Bloody English Language!
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .
Angry wife to her husband
An Angry Wife To Her Husband 0n Phone:
"Where d Hell Are You ...?"
Husband: Darling You Remember That Jewellery Shop Where You Saw The Diamond Necklace n Totally Fell In Love With It n I Didn't Have Money That Time n I said "Baby It'll Be Yours 1 Day ... "O
Wife, With A Smile & Blushing: Yeah I Remember That My Love!
Husband: I‘m in the Pub Just Next To That Shop !!
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .
A Special Package for Business Men.
An Airline Introduced A Special Package For Business Men.
Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife's Ticket Free.
After Great Success, The Company Sent Letters To All The Wives Asking How Was The Trip.
All Of Them Gave A Same Reply..."Which Trip?"
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .
Husband was seriously ill
Husband was seriously ill. Doc to wife: Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant & in gud mood, don’t discuss ur problems, no tv serial, don’t demand new clothes & gold jewels,
Do this for 1 yr & he will be ok.
On the way home.. Husband: what did the doc say ?
Wife:- .No chance for u to survive
New SIM to surprise her husband
Woman Buys A New Sim Card Puts It In Her Phone And Decides To Surprise Her Husband Who Is Seated On The Couch In The Living Room.
She Goes To The Kitchen, Calls Her Husband With The New Number:
"Hello Darling"
The Husband Responds In A Low Tone:
"Let Me Call U Back Later Honey, The Dumb Lady Is In The Kitchen..
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .
Wife treats husband
A Wife Treats Hubby By Taking Him To A Lap Dance Club For His Birthday ..
At The Club: Doorman Says: Hi Jim How R You?
Wife Asks: How Does He Know You?
Jim Says: Oh Dear, I Play Football with Him
Inside Barman Says: The Usual Jim ?
Jim Says To Wife: Before You Say Anything, He's On the Darts Team in My Local
Next A Lap Dancer Says: Hi Jim
Do You Crave Special Again?
The Wife Storms Out Dragging Jim With Her & Jumps Into A Taxi..
Driver Says "Hey Jimmy Boy, You Picked Up An Ugly One This Time.."
Jim's Funeral Is On Sunday
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .
Cool message by a wife
Dear Mother-in-law,
"Don't Teach me how 2 handle my children, I'm living with one of yours & he needs a lot of improvement"
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .
Lion bounced on wife
In an African Safari, A LION suddenly bounced on Santa's wife.
WIFE: Shoot him! Shoot him!
SANTA: Yes, Yes. I'm changing d battery of my camera..
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .
Throwing knives on wife's picture
Husband was throwing knives on wife’s picture.
All were missing the target!
Suddenly he received call from her "Hi, what r u doing?"
His honest reply, "MISSING U"
Habbit of talking in sleep
A Lady to Doctor: My husband has habit of talking in sleep! what shud i give him to cure?
Dr: Give him an Opportunity to speak wen hez awake
. . . . . .. . . .. . . .
Part & Art of living
Having "WIFE" Is A Part Of Living...
But Having "GIRLFRIEND" Along With The "WIFE" Is Art Of Living.
Can I make a call to my wife?
A man in Hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil: Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.
What if you don’t see me for 2 days?
A man came home late at night after a party.
His wife yelled: "how would you feel if you don't see me for two days?"
The man couldn’t believe his luck: 'that would be great'!
Monday passed and he didn’t see her......
Tuesday and Wednesday passed too.....
On Thursday his swelling became better
And now he could see her from the corner of one eye.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN
Nobody teaches Volcanoes to erupt,
Tsunamis to devastate,
Hurricanes to sway around
& no one teaches How to choose a Wife,
NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Why did u shoot ur wife?
Judge: why did u shoot ur wife instead of shooting her lover?
husband: Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Your husband needs rest
Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest and peace, so here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you.!!
"Hi, what r u doing Darling?"
Wife: I'm dying..!
Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?"
Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair.."
Husband: "…………….Bloody English Language!
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .
Angry wife to her husband
An Angry Wife To Her Husband 0n Phone:
"Where d Hell Are You ...?"
Husband: Darling You Remember That Jewellery Shop Where You Saw The Diamond Necklace n Totally Fell In Love With It n I Didn't Have Money That Time n I said "Baby It'll Be Yours 1 Day ... "O
Wife, With A Smile & Blushing: Yeah I Remember That My Love!
Husband: I‘m in the Pub Just Next To That Shop !!
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .
A Special Package for Business Men.
An Airline Introduced A Special Package For Business Men.
Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife's Ticket Free.
After Great Success, The Company Sent Letters To All The Wives Asking How Was The Trip.
All Of Them Gave A Same Reply..."Which Trip?"
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .
Husband was seriously ill
Husband was seriously ill. Doc to wife: Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant & in gud mood, don’t discuss ur problems, no tv serial, don’t demand new clothes & gold jewels,
Do this for 1 yr & he will be ok.
On the way home.. Husband: what did the doc say ?
Wife:- .No chance for u to survive
New SIM to surprise her husband
Woman Buys A New Sim Card Puts It In Her Phone And Decides To Surprise Her Husband Who Is Seated On The Couch In The Living Room.
She Goes To The Kitchen, Calls Her Husband With The New Number:
"Hello Darling"
The Husband Responds In A Low Tone:
"Let Me Call U Back Later Honey, The Dumb Lady Is In The Kitchen..
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .
Wife treats husband
A Wife Treats Hubby By Taking Him To A Lap Dance Club For His Birthday ..
At The Club: Doorman Says: Hi Jim How R You?
Wife Asks: How Does He Know You?
Jim Says: Oh Dear, I Play Football with Him
Inside Barman Says: The Usual Jim ?
Jim Says To Wife: Before You Say Anything, He's On the Darts Team in My Local
Next A Lap Dancer Says: Hi Jim
Do You Crave Special Again?
The Wife Storms Out Dragging Jim With Her & Jumps Into A Taxi..
Driver Says "Hey Jimmy Boy, You Picked Up An Ugly One This Time.."
Jim's Funeral Is On Sunday
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .
Cool message by a wife
Dear Mother-in-law,
"Don't Teach me how 2 handle my children, I'm living with one of yours & he needs a lot of improvement"
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .
Lion bounced on wife
In an African Safari, A LION suddenly bounced on Santa's wife.
WIFE: Shoot him! Shoot him!
SANTA: Yes, Yes. I'm changing d battery of my camera..
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .
Throwing knives on wife's picture
Husband was throwing knives on wife’s picture.
All were missing the target!
Suddenly he received call from her "Hi, what r u doing?"
His honest reply, "MISSING U"
Habbit of talking in sleep
A Lady to Doctor: My husband has habit of talking in sleep! what shud i give him to cure?
Dr: Give him an Opportunity to speak wen hez awake
. . . . . .. . . .. . . .
Part & Art of living
Having "WIFE" Is A Part Of Living...
But Having "GIRLFRIEND" Along With The "WIFE" Is Art Of Living.
Can I make a call to my wife?
A man in Hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil: Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.
What if you don’t see me for 2 days?
A man came home late at night after a party.
His wife yelled: "how would you feel if you don't see me for two days?"
The man couldn’t believe his luck: 'that would be great'!
Monday passed and he didn’t see her......
Tuesday and Wednesday passed too.....
On Thursday his swelling became better
And now he could see her from the corner of one eye.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN
Nobody teaches Volcanoes to erupt,
Tsunamis to devastate,
Hurricanes to sway around
& no one teaches How to choose a Wife,
NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Why did u shoot ur wife?
Judge: why did u shoot ur wife instead of shooting her lover?
husband: Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Your husband needs rest
Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest and peace, so here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you.!!
