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ElaKiri Jokes
Lost in Heaven!!
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<blockquote data-quote="crazy_m" data-source="post: 239107" data-attributes="member: 830"><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>One night, Tom does what he normally does --- he kisses his wife, crawls into bed and falls asleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a white robe sitting next to him!</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>"What the heck are you doing in my bedroom...and who are you?" he asked.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>"This is not your bedroom," the man replied. "I am St. Peter, and you are in heaven."</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>"WHAT! Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die! I'm too young," said Tom. "I want you to send me back immediately."</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>"It's not that easy", said St.Peter. "You can only return as a dog or a hen. The choice is your own."</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>Tom thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog would be too tiring, but a hen would probably have a nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can't be that bad.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>"I want to return as a hen," Tom replied.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>And in the next second, he found himself nicely feathered and in a chicken farm. But now he felt like his rear end was gonna blow. Then along came the rooster.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>"Hey, you must be the new hen St. Peter told me about," he said. "How do you like being a hen?"</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>"Well, OK I guess, but it feels like my butt is about to explode."</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>"Oh that!" said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation going on. You need to lay an egg."</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>"How do I do that?" Tom asked.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>"Cluck twice, and then you push all you can."</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>Tom clucked twice and pushed more than he was good for, and then 'plop' an egg was on the ground.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>"Wow" Tom said. "That felt really good!" So he clucked again and squeezed. And you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground.</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout:</strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkOrchid"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><strong>"Doggone it Tom! Wake up! You're messin' up the bed sheets again!" </strong></span></span></span></p><p></p><p><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /> <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /> <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /> <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /> <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /> <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /> <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /> <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /> <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/rofl.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rofl:" title="ROFL :rofl:" data-shortname=":rofl:" /> <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/rofl.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rofl:" title="ROFL :rofl:" data-shortname=":rofl:" /> <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/rofl.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rofl:" title="ROFL :rofl:" data-shortname=":rofl:" /> <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/rofl.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rofl:" title="ROFL :rofl:" data-shortname=":rofl:" /> <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/rofl.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rofl:" title="ROFL :rofl:" data-shortname=":rofl:" /> <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/rofl.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rofl:" title="ROFL :rofl:" data-shortname=":rofl:" /> <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/rofl.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rofl:" title="ROFL :rofl:" data-shortname=":rofl:" /> <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/rofl.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rofl:" title="ROFL :rofl:" data-shortname=":rofl:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="crazy_m, post: 239107, member: 830"] [COLOR="DarkOrchid"][SIZE="3"][FONT="Georgia"][B]One night, Tom does what he normally does --- he kisses his wife, crawls into bed and falls asleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a white robe sitting next to him! "What the heck are you doing in my bedroom...and who are you?" he asked. "This is not your bedroom," the man replied. "I am St. Peter, and you are in heaven." "WHAT! Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die! I'm too young," said Tom. "I want you to send me back immediately." "It's not that easy", said St.Peter. "You can only return as a dog or a hen. The choice is your own." Tom thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog would be too tiring, but a hen would probably have a nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can't be that bad. "I want to return as a hen," Tom replied. And in the next second, he found himself nicely feathered and in a chicken farm. But now he felt like his rear end was gonna blow. Then along came the rooster. "Hey, you must be the new hen St. Peter told me about," he said. "How do you like being a hen?" "Well, OK I guess, but it feels like my butt is about to explode." "Oh that!" said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation going on. You need to lay an egg." "How do I do that?" Tom asked. "Cluck twice, and then you push all you can." Tom clucked twice and pushed more than he was good for, and then 'plop' an egg was on the ground. "Wow" Tom said. "That felt really good!" So he clucked again and squeezed. And you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground. The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout: "Doggone it Tom! Wake up! You're messin' up the bed sheets again!" [/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR] :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: [/QUOTE]
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