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ElaKiri Jokes
Malaysian English :P
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<blockquote data-quote="hacker" data-source="post: 27540" data-attributes="member: 474"><p>Malaysian English</p><p></p><p>Who says our English is teruk? Just see below...</p><p>Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-point,</p><p>effective, etc...</p><p></p><p>WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS</p><p>Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the</p><p>sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a</p><p>moment, I can call the other outlets for you.</p><p>Malaysians: No Stock.</p><p></p><p>RETURNING A CALL</p><p>Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page</p><p>for me a few moments ago?</p><p>Malaysians: Hello, who page?</p><p></p><p>ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY</p><p>Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get through. Would you</p><p>please make way?</p><p>Malaysians: S-kew me</p><p></p><p>WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY</p><p>Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on</p><p>me.</p><p>Malaysians: No-need, lah.</p><p></p><p>WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION</p><p>Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be</p><p>possible for me to enter through this door?</p><p>Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ah?</p><p></p><p>WHEN ENTERTAINING</p><p>Britons: Please make yourself at home.</p><p>Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah!</p><p></p><p>WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE</p><p>Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.</p><p>Malaysians: Where got?</p><p></p><p>WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER</p><p>Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.</p><p></p><p>Malaysians: Don't want la...</p><p></p><p>IN DISAGREEMENT, OVER A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION</p><p>Britons: Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand</p><p>where you're coming from, but I really have to</p><p>disagree with what you've said about the issue.</p><p>Malaysians: You mad, ah?</p><p></p><p>WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE</p><p>Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your</p><p>voice, I'm trying to concentrate.</p><p>Malaysians: Shut up lah!</p><p></p><p>WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU</p><p>Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you've been staring</p><p>at me for some time. Do I know you?</p><p>Malaysians: See what, see what?</p><p></p><p>WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION</p><p>Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at</p><p>the moment.</p><p>Malaysians: Die-lah!</p><p></p><p>WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED</p><p>Britons: Will someone tell me what had just happened?</p><p>Malaysians: Wat happen? Why like that?</p><p></p><p>WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG</p><p>Britons: This isn't the way to do it, here let me show</p><p>you,</p><p>Malaysians: like that also don't know how to do!</p><p></p><p>WHEN ONE IS ANGRY</p><p>Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me!</p><p>Malaysians:Celaka u</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hacker, post: 27540, member: 474"] Malaysian English Who says our English is teruk? Just see below... Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-point, effective, etc... WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you. Malaysians: No Stock. RETURNING A CALL Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago? Malaysians: Hello, who page? ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get through. Would you please make way? Malaysians: S-kew me WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me. Malaysians: No-need, lah. WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door? Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ah? WHEN ENTERTAINING Britons: Please make yourself at home. Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah! WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money. Malaysians: Where got? WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind. Malaysians: Don't want la... IN DISAGREEMENT, OVER A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION Britons: Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you've said about the issue. Malaysians: You mad, ah? WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate. Malaysians: Shut up lah! WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you've been staring at me for some time. Do I know you? Malaysians: See what, see what? WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment. Malaysians: Die-lah! WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED Britons: Will someone tell me what had just happened? Malaysians: Wat happen? Why like that? WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG Britons: This isn't the way to do it, here let me show you, Malaysians: like that also don't know how to do! WHEN ONE IS ANGRY Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me! Malaysians:Celaka u [/QUOTE]
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