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Message: <blockquote data-quote="BUA" data-source="post: 946700" data-attributes="member: 12">ok dun worry bro..follow these steps. u will be oki after 7 days for Sure Step 1- ACCEPTANCE   "Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery."    - Joanne Kathleen Rowling The first step in letting go is to accept the fact that it's over. At first this can be a hard pill to swallow because it's difficult to let go of the hopes and dreams you've had with someone. But... The sooner you are honest with yourself that "it's over" the sooner you will begin the process of moving on.  You may not like it; you may wish things worked out differently; you may even want to get back together. But, it's not until you face the reality that your life with this person has ended that you can begin to pick up the pieces and move on. You may go over in your mind how things could've been; you many constantly fill your mind with thoughts of the past and how you could've done things differently. That's normal. Learn from the mistakes that were made in this relationship, use them as tools to learn from your past and they will help you to have a better future. When you really want something and invest so much time in trying to make things work, it's human nature to feel bad if the outcome isn't what you desired.   It's okay to have dreams; it's the beginning of knowing what you want. Your dreams can and will be fulfilled, the only difference is it will be with someone else. When you accept that things will never work out with this person, only then will you begin to believe that you will move on from this heartache; and that is the first step in letting go. Facing the end of hope and moving past it is the beginning of acceptance.   Remember, the end is a "new" beginning. You will survive!Step 2 MAKE A CLEAN BREAK"Tis better to be alone than in bad company." -George Washington  This is a big one. If there is one thing you can do for yourself that will help you to move on with your life the fastest....it will be to avoid this on-again-off-again dance that so many people experience when ending a relationship.If it's over...it's over!Deep down in your heart you know it, but many people hope against hope that if they go back just one more time, things will work out. So...they go back and try and 99% of the time it's the same sad outcome, minus a couple of precious months that would have been better spent in trying to heal themselves. Don't try to be friends. Don't meet for dinner to just to see them one more time. Don't talk on the phone and rehash the past. Don't let them continue to be a part of your life when they're not. I know it's hard to make the break, but be strong and keep your distance. It will make it easier on you in the long run. Instead, if you choose to keep in touch; you will only prolong the process. You will have to go through it anyway, so why put it off and make it harder on yourself? All of our choices have consequences. When you choose to see them one more time or talk to them again and again; the consequence is; you will begin to heal later rather than sooner. You hold onto the hope that things might work out which will only be a disappointment to you in the long run.Making a clean break and acceptance go hand in hand. The "clean break" is evidence that you've "accepted" that's it's over and you are ready to move on with your life.So...If you really want to be friends, allow yourself the time to get over the pain of the break-up and then if you still want to...you can resume your friendship.Remember, you are taking the right steps in helping to heal your broken heart and...You will survive!STEP 3IT'S OKAY TO GRIEVE...LET IT OUT AND LET IT GO         "People have a hard time letting go of their suffering.         Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering                 that is familiar."  -Thich Nhat Hanh  Dealing with all of the painful emotions that go along with "the breakup" is simply something you have to go through. It's okay, you've got to let it out in order to let it go.  Cry, scream and moan. Whatever it takes to release it, do it. Vent every single emotion you have and get it out of your system. When you are tired of crying, try journaling. Write down all of your thoughts and feelings. Cleanse your soul of your pain. Grieving your loss is perfectly okay. This is the time to cry away the past so you can begin to put it behind you. It's normal to go through the mourning process.  So don't feel bad for feeling bad. Keep reminding yourself that you will get through this, you just have to allow yourself a little time. Don't let this time go on too long where you find yourself stuck and can't let go. Give yourself a deadline: A week, a month or a little longer; pick a date and write it down. "Just because your relationship is over, doesn't mean your life is over!"  It's inevitable that you are going to feel bad but as time goes by you will begin to feel better. Just hang in there! Pat yourself on the back; you're doing what it takes to help yourself on the road to a better life. No one else can do it for you. So...stay focused on your future...and know that as time goes by you are getting closer to a stronger you!Remember...You will survive!step 4FOCUS ON YOURSELF"We either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same." -Carlos Castaneda   Indulge yourself. You are going through a tough time right now so take extra care in being easy on yourself. Treat yourself to all of the little niceties that will make YOU feel better.New hair-cut, color, make-up, facial, manicure or massage. Buy yourself something you've been wanting. Go and do something you enjoy. Do anything that makes you feel great about yourself, or anything that you love doing which you've been putting off.Join a gym, if you can't afford it, go for a walk and commune with nature. Go on a vacation or go out with your friends again. Occupy yourself with positive activities and stay focused on things that make you happy.If someone you love was going through the same thing, how would you treat them? Well, that someone you "should" love is yourself. Spoil and pamper yourself just as you would someone you love.This is a time to be nicer to yourself than you've ever been before... You're worth it! What you may not realize yet, is this: As time goes by and you are starting to feel good again, the person that is going to emerge will be the new and improved version of you. Take this opportunity to start to love yourself more. You have the power to create your future. Choose to live it well!STEP 5TAKE YOURSELF TO THE NEXT LEVEL           "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life              you've imagined."  -Henry David Thoreau   Now is the perfect opportunity to really begin a journey into self discovery. Read books that will keep your mind focused on improving all aspects of your life. Getting your self-esteem back on track is essential in progressing toward a better future. Be extremely cognizant of the things you say to yourself. Negative talk will only make you feel worse. Make sure your self talk is positive, encouraging and complimentary. Your words have the power to make you or break you! Your thoughts are the most powerful weapon you have in creating the kind of life you want. Discover what it is you want your life to look like, and then learn how to set goals and go after them. Self help is exactly that: helping your "self" in having a better life. You're going through a lot right now. So, take it a day at a time and make sure your tomorrows are better by taking the steps today to improve your life. Remember...You are getting there!Step 6LEARN TO FORGIVE     "When a deep injury is done to us, we never recover       until we forgive." -Alan Paton  Okay, even though it may seem impossible right now, the sooner you do this...the sooner you will... let go for good. You have to learn how to forgive the other person. But...first...you have to forgive yourself! If you've make mistakes...forgive yourself and go on. There is nothing you can do now to change the past, but you can affect your future. Forgiving yourself takes the pressure off of you for not being perfect. And, it gets rid of guilt. You must learn to forgive yourself before you can forgive others. Second, forgive him or her. If you don't, you will be holding onto the past. You may carry anger and resentment around with you which will hurt you...more than them. Harboring negative emotions can make you bitter and resentful. It can permeate all areas of your life and it makes it harder to enjoy today. Not forgiving keeps you trapped exactly where you don't want to be...holding onto memories of the past. Once you find forgiveness you will regain control of your life. It's your choice!STEP 7MOVE ON...SO YOU CAN LIVE THE LIFE YOU DESERVE         "Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live."                                 -Dorothy Thompson The end is just the beginning!  It is your chance to begin a journey to discover who you are, to understand that you deserve more, and to learn what you truly want out of life. The reality is, for whatever reason, your relationship is over. But, that doesn't mean your life is over. You may not like it, but the truth is...you have a choice. You can choose to continue to make your life miserable by holding on to something that doesn't exist anymore. (Only in your hopes and dreams).  Or...you can make the decision; that even though things didn't work out the way you wanted...you are going to pick up the pieces of your life and "move on". It really is your choice! After you go through the necessary and normal process of getting over this relationship, choose to take charge of your life and go after what you want. Find the courage to pull yourself up and not let this destroy you. You deserve all of the happiness and love you've always wanted and you can still have it, it will just be with someone new. There really is life after what's-his-name. You just have to make the decision to let go and move on. You and you alone possess the power to do whatever you want. Read these lessons. Start applying the lessons into your life. Take little steps each day and you will be amazed that you really are starting to feel better Follow these 7 steps in 7 days,  i can guarantee u will oki</blockquote>

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