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Message: <blockquote data-quote="rith" data-source="post: 4208662" data-attributes="member: 21277"><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue">**1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big dick or a good </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue">memory....I don't remember which one I chose.**</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue">**2. My birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.**</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue">**3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.**</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue">**4. Impotence: nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings..."**</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue">**5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue">'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.**</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue">**6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.**</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue">**7. There are three stages in a man's life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.**</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue">**8. Virginity can be cured!**</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue">**9. Virginity is not dignity; It's a lack of opportunity.**</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue">**10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue">partner, you better have a good hand.**</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue">**11. I tried phone sex once but the holes in the dialer were too small.**</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue">**12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.**</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue">**13. Question: What's an Australian kiss?**</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue">** Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.**</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue">**14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue">happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.**</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue">**15. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life?**</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue">** Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.**</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue">**16. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?**</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue">** Answer: Breasts don't have eyes.**</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue">**17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Blue">men still sleep with their wives!**</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>

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