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ElaKiri Jokes
Mervin's joke
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<blockquote data-quote="gayandilanga" data-source="post: 5831824" data-attributes="member: 42770"><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"><span style="color: Red">Lesbian</span> :</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">At a party a Mervin Silva sees a beautiful girl and invites Her to dance With him...</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Mervin Silva : Can I dance with you?</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">The Girl : I'm sorry I'm a lesbian..</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Mervin Silva : It's ok. It's ok.. I'm a THOMIAN</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"><span style="color: Red">Marriage :</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Mervin Silva's Girl Friend: I'm one year older than You....will it bad for Our marriage?</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Mervin Silva : No, not at all.....We'll marry in next Year.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"><span style="color: Red">Hidden Camera's :</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Mrs. Silva caught Mervin Silva searching high and low All around his Living room.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Mrs. Silva: 'What are you searching for?'</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Mr. Mervin Silva: 'Hidden cameras!'</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Mrs. Silva: 'And what makes you think that there Are hidden Cameras here?'</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Mr. Mervin Silva: 'That guy on TV knows exactly what I Am doing. Every Few minutes he keeps saying, 'You are</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Watching Rupavahini channel'. How does he know That?'</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"><span style="color: Red">Relaxing :</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Mervin Silva was enjoying the sun at the beach in America . A lady came and asked him, 'Are you relaxing?'</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Mervin Silva answered,'No, I am Mervin Silva'</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Another guy came and asked him the same question.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Mervin Silva answered, 'No! No! Me Mervin Silva!'</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">A third one came and asked him the same question again.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Mervin Silva was totally annoyed and decided to shift his Place.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">While walking he saw another Sri Lankan soaking in the sun.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">He went up to him and asked, 'Are you Relaxing?'</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">The other man was a lot more educated and answered,</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">'Yes, I am relaxing.'</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Mervin Silva slapped him on his face and said,'Stupid, Idiot. Everyone is Looking for you and you are sitting over here!'</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"><span style="color: Red">Heaven :</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Mervin Silva died and went to heaven.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">New rules are In effect due to the advances in education on</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Earth. In order to Gain admittance each soul must answer two simple questions:</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">1. Name two days of the week that begin with 'T'.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">2. How many seconds are there in a year?</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Mervin Silva thought for a few minutes and answered.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">1. The two days of the week that begin with 'T' are Today and</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Tomorrow.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">2. There are 12 seconds in a year.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Saint Peter said, 'OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow answer, even though it's not the answer I expected. But how</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Did you get 12 seconds in a year?'</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Mervin Silva replied, 'Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">March 2nd, etc...'</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Saint Peter opens the gate without another word.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"><span style="color: Red">The Wash Basin :</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Mervin Silva goes to a hotel in Colombo and eats heartily.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">The basin Instead...</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">The manager comes running and asks him,</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">'Sir, what are You doing?'</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Mervin Silva replies, 'Read this board here, it says</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">`Wash Basin'.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"><span style="color: Red">English Exam :</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Mervin Silva finished his English exam and came out.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">His friends asked him how he did his exam. He replied,</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">'Exam was okay, but For the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, And thought, at Last I wrote THUNK!!!'</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Answer the following questions in</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"><span style="color: Red">brief :</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Mervin Silva is appearing for his University final examination.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then in a fit of inspiration</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">then removes his shirt and throws it away as well, followed by his</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">pants, socks and watch. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">'I am only following the instructions here,' he</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">says, 'it says here, `Answer the following questions in brief'.'</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"><span style="color: Red">Essay :</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">The English teacher told all the students in the class to</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Mervin Silva.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">He had written. 'DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH !!! '</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">The Postman :</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">The Postman: 'I have to come 5 miles to deliver you this parcel.'</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Mervin Silva: 'Why did you come so far? Instead you could have posted it.'</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"><span style="color: Red">Coffee Shop :</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Mervin Silva and his wife went to a coffee shop</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Mervin Silva said, 'Hurry Up Drink quickly..... !!!'.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">His wife asked, ' why...???'</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Mervin Silva said, 'Hot Coffee Rs.5 and Cold Coffee Rs.10'.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"><span style="color: Red">Letter to his Son :</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Mervin Silva was writing something very slowly. A friend came and asks, 'Why are you writing so slowly?'</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Mervin Silva replies, 'I'm writing to my 6 year old son,... he can't read very fast.'</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"><span style="color: Red">How I Look When Im Sleeping :</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Mervin Silva was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed. His wife sees this and asks: What you are doing.....?? ??</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black">Mervin Silva replies, I'm seeing how I look while I'm sleeping.... !!!</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: Black"></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gayandilanga, post: 5831824, member: 42770"] [SIZE="4"][COLOR="Black"][COLOR="Red"]Lesbian[/COLOR] : At a party a Mervin Silva sees a beautiful girl and invites Her to dance With him... Mervin Silva : Can I dance with you? The Girl : I'm sorry I'm a lesbian.. Mervin Silva : It's ok. It's ok.. I'm a THOMIAN [COLOR="Red"]Marriage :[/COLOR] Mervin Silva's Girl Friend: I'm one year older than You....will it bad for Our marriage? Mervin Silva : No, not at all.....We'll marry in next Year. [COLOR="Red"]Hidden Camera's :[/COLOR] Mrs. Silva caught Mervin Silva searching high and low All around his Living room. Mrs. Silva: 'What are you searching for?' Mr. Mervin Silva: 'Hidden cameras!' Mrs. Silva: 'And what makes you think that there Are hidden Cameras here?' Mr. Mervin Silva: 'That guy on TV knows exactly what I Am doing. Every Few minutes he keeps saying, 'You are Watching Rupavahini channel'. How does he know That?' [COLOR="Red"]Relaxing :[/COLOR] Mervin Silva was enjoying the sun at the beach in America . A lady came and asked him, 'Are you relaxing?' Mervin Silva answered,'No, I am Mervin Silva' Another guy came and asked him the same question. Mervin Silva answered, 'No! No! Me Mervin Silva!' A third one came and asked him the same question again. Mervin Silva was totally annoyed and decided to shift his Place. While walking he saw another Sri Lankan soaking in the sun. He went up to him and asked, 'Are you Relaxing?' The other man was a lot more educated and answered, 'Yes, I am relaxing.' Mervin Silva slapped him on his face and said,'Stupid, Idiot. Everyone is Looking for you and you are sitting over here!' [COLOR="Red"]Heaven :[/COLOR] Mervin Silva died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that New rules are In effect due to the advances in education on Earth. In order to Gain admittance each soul must answer two simple questions: 1. Name two days of the week that begin with 'T'. 2. How many seconds are there in a year? Mervin Silva thought for a few minutes and answered. 1. The two days of the week that begin with 'T' are Today and Tomorrow. 2. There are 12 seconds in a year. Saint Peter said, 'OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow answer, even though it's not the answer I expected. But how Did you get 12 seconds in a year?' Mervin Silva replied, 'Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc...' Saint Peter opens the gate without another word. [COLOR="Red"]The Wash Basin :[/COLOR] Mervin Silva goes to a hotel in Colombo and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing The basin Instead... The manager comes running and asks him, 'Sir, what are You doing?' Mervin Silva replies, 'Read this board here, it says `Wash Basin'. [COLOR="Red"]English Exam :[/COLOR] Mervin Silva finished his English exam and came out. His friends asked him how he did his exam. He replied, 'Exam was okay, but For the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, And thought, at Last I wrote THUNK!!!' Answer the following questions in [COLOR="Red"]brief :[/COLOR] Mervin Silva is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his shirt and throws it away as well, followed by his pants, socks and watch. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. 'I am only following the instructions here,' he says, 'it says here, `Answer the following questions in brief'.' [COLOR="Red"]Essay :[/COLOR] The English teacher told all the students in the class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except Mervin Silva. He had written. 'DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH !!! ' The Postman : The Postman: 'I have to come 5 miles to deliver you this parcel.' Mervin Silva: 'Why did you come so far? Instead you could have posted it.' [COLOR="Red"]Coffee Shop :[/COLOR] Mervin Silva and his wife went to a coffee shop Mervin Silva said, 'Hurry Up Drink quickly..... !!!'. His wife asked, ' why...???' Mervin Silva said, 'Hot Coffee Rs.5 and Cold Coffee Rs.10'. [COLOR="Red"]Letter to his Son :[/COLOR] Mervin Silva was writing something very slowly. A friend came and asks, 'Why are you writing so slowly?' Mervin Silva replies, 'I'm writing to my 6 year old son,... he can't read very fast.' [COLOR="Red"]How I Look When Im Sleeping :[/COLOR] Mervin Silva was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed. His wife sees this and asks: What you are doing.....?? ?? Mervin Silva replies, I'm seeing how I look while I'm sleeping.... !!! [/COLOR][/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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