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Message: <blockquote data-quote="lansoft" data-source="post: 2183799" data-attributes="member: 52209">MICROSOFT HELP DESK!  <img src="http://schools.nyc.gov/NR/rdonlyres/F2165739-8334-4020-86CF-C592CE85C1DF/13095/lady1.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" />       No 2PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH......FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK:------------------------------------------------Tech Support: I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.Customer "Ok.Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?Customer: "No.Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"Customer "No.Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."--------------------------------------------------Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message.Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"--------------------------------------------------Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word.Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done.Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'.Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'.Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk.Customer:: "What?Tech Support: Did you buy MS word?Customer: "No..."--------------------------------------------------Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?Tech Support:: ?!%#$--------------------------------------------------Tech Support:: Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, canyou see the 'OK'button displayed?Customer: Wow. How can yousee my screen from there?--------------------------------------------------Tech Support:: Type 'A:' at the prompt.Customer:: How do you spell that?--------------------------------------------------Tech Support:: What operating system are you running?Customer:: Pentium.--------------------------------------------------Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, butthe computer won't boot properly.Tech Support: "What does it say?Customer: Something about an error and non-system disk.Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside.--------------------------------------------------Tech Support: Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours.Customer:Is that Eastern time?"--------------------------------------------------Tech Support:: What does the screen say now?Customer: It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'.Tech Support:: "Well?"Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"--------------------------------------------------A plain computer illeterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer isfaulty.Tech: What's the problem?User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.Tech: You'll need a new power supply.User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix theproblem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.10 minutes later,the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumentedDOS command that will fix the problem.User: I knew it!Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS.Letme know how it goes.10 minutes later.User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?User: MS-DOS 6.22.Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes1 hour later...........User: I need a new power supply.Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.Tech: Then what did he say?User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.-------------------------------------------------Customer Care Officer: I need a product identification no: right now and may I help u in finding it out?Cust: sureCustomer Care Officer: Could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?-------------------------------------------------<a href="http://www.elakiri.com/forum/showthread.php?t=84127" target="_blank">CLICK HERE FOR NO 1</a><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/yes.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":yes:" title="Yes    :yes:" data-shortname=":yes:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/D.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":D" title="Big grin    :D" data-shortname=":D" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/yes.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":yes:" title="Yes    :yes:" data-shortname=":yes:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/D.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":D" title="Big grin    :D" data-shortname=":D" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/yes.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":yes:" title="Yes    :yes:" data-shortname=":yes:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/D.gif"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":D" title="Big grin    :D" data-shortname=":D" />                                                                            </blockquote>

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