[SIZE=+0][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter : Sit down, sir, we serve anyone.
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Customer : Waiter is this a lamb chops or pork chop?
Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer : No, I can't.
Waiter : Then does it really matter?
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter : Yes Sir, they are not very good swimmers.
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter : That's all right, Sir, he won't drink much.
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my teacup?
Waiter : I wouldn't know, Sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortuneteller
. [/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter : Funny?? But why aren't you laughing?
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get mummy then?
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to Kuala Lumpur.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]-----------------------------------------------------------------[/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif][/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Peter : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
Krik : Yes it's really strange. I' ve got another pair of the same at home.
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]First Guy (proudly) : "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy : "You're fortunate, mine's still alive."
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]The girl asked her lover, "Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?" "Sure," replied her lover "What's your phone number?" [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]-----------------------------------------------------------------[/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif][/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. [/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order,order" [/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda." [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Penang in two days time?
Post Master : Well it might do.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Johor.
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
How long has what been going on?' said the man.
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]-----------------------------------------------------------------[/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif][/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]1st thief : Oh ! The police are here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitious.
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]-----------------------------------------------------------------[/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif][/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]-----------------------------------------------------------------[/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif][/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, shouting, "Daddy!?" Daddy!? I got a 100 in school today!" [/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy. "Come in to the living room and tell me about it." [/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]"Well,"? began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math and 20 in science." [/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter : Sit down, sir, we serve anyone.
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Customer : Waiter is this a lamb chops or pork chop?
Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer : No, I can't.
Waiter : Then does it really matter?
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter : Yes Sir, they are not very good swimmers.
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter : That's all right, Sir, he won't drink much.
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my teacup?
Waiter : I wouldn't know, Sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortuneteller
. [/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter : Funny?? But why aren't you laughing?
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get mummy then?
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to Kuala Lumpur.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]-----------------------------------------------------------------[/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif][/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Peter : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
Krik : Yes it's really strange. I' ve got another pair of the same at home.
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]First Guy (proudly) : "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy : "You're fortunate, mine's still alive."
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]The girl asked her lover, "Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?" "Sure," replied her lover "What's your phone number?" [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]-----------------------------------------------------------------[/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif][/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. [/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order,order" [/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda." [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Penang in two days time?
Post Master : Well it might do.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Johor.
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
How long has what been going on?' said the man.
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]-----------------------------------------------------------------[/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif][/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]1st thief : Oh ! The police are here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitious.
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]-----------------------------------------------------------------[/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif][/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]-----------------------------------------------------------------[/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif][/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.
[/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]----------------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]
[FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, shouting, "Daddy!?" Daddy!? I got a 100 in school today!" [/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy. "Come in to the living room and tell me about it." [/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]"Well,"? began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math and 20 in science." [/FONT][FONT=Garamond, Times, Serif]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[/FONT]
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