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<blockquote data-quote="Dreamworks_naveen" data-source="post: 5229109" data-attributes="member: 49393"><p>Titanic was sinking. </p><p></p><p>An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"? </p><p>Santa: 2 KMs. </p><p></p><p>Englishman jumped into sea. </p><p>Englishman: Now, which direction? </p><p></p><p>Santa: Downwards! </p><p></p><p></p><p>**********</p><p></p><p>Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators. </p><p></p><p></p><p>********** </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>How did santa tried to kill a bird?? </p><p></p><p>He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die. </p><p></p><p></p><p>*********</p><p></p><p>Santa: I have swallowed a kay. </p><p></p><p>Doctor: When? </p><p></p><p>Santa: 3 months back! </p><p></p><p>Doctor: What were you doing till now? </p><p></p><p>Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too. </p><p></p><p></p><p>*********</p><p></p><p>Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It’s ****. Santa: U r wrong. It’s 1394. </p><p></p><p></p><p>*********</p><p></p><p>Santa falls in love with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister." </p><p></p><p></p><p>*********</p><p></p><p>Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening? </p><p></p><p>Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM. </p><p></p><p></p><p>*********</p><p></p><p>Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller? </p><p></p><p>Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl. </p><p></p><p></p><p>*********</p><p></p><p>A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. </p><p></p><p>Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days. </p><p></p><p>Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>*********</p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn't came back yet! </p><p></p><p>Santa: Why don't u cook something else? .</p><p></p><p></p><p>**********</p><p></p><p>An Englishman and santa inside the toilet.</p><p></p><p>Englishman: Good evening, how do u do? </p><p></p><p>Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do! </p><p></p><p></p><p>***********</p><p></p><p>Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why? </p><p></p><p>Because he opened petrol pump on second floor.. </p><p></p><p></p><p>***********</p><p></p><p>Ultimate answer while changing the job. </p><p></p><p>Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job? </p><p></p><p>Santa: Because the company shifted and didn't tell me where. </p><p></p><p></p><p>************</p><p></p><p>Santa and Banta went for a drive. </p><p></p><p>Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not? </p><p></p><p>Banta puts his head out & says "Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!" </p><p></p><p></p><p>************</p><p></p><p>Santa's wife dies. He is calm, but his wife's lover is crying furiously... </p><p></p><p>Finally, santa consoles him: Don't worry buddy, I will marry again. </p><p></p><p></p><p>************</p><p></p><p>Why did santa keep the door open while bathing? </p><p></p><p>Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole. </p><p></p><p></p><p>************</p><p></p><p>Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home. The steering, dash board, gears of car have been stolen. </p><p></p><p>After sometime he calls again: I am coming, earlier I sat on the back seat.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Dreamworks_naveen, post: 5229109, member: 49393"] Titanic was sinking. An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"? Santa: 2 KMs. Englishman jumped into sea. Englishman: Now, which direction? Santa: Downwards! ********** Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators. ********** How did santa tried to kill a bird?? He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die. ********* Santa: I have swallowed a kay. Doctor: When? Santa: 3 months back! Doctor: What were you doing till now? Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too. ********* Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It’s ****. Santa: U r wrong. It’s 1394. ********* Santa falls in love with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister." ********* Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening? Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM. ********* Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller? Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl. ********* A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days. Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out. ********* Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn't came back yet! Santa: Why don't u cook something else? . ********** An Englishman and santa inside the toilet. Englishman: Good evening, how do u do? Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do! *********** Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why? Because he opened petrol pump on second floor.. *********** Ultimate answer while changing the job. Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job? Santa: Because the company shifted and didn't tell me where. ************ Santa and Banta went for a drive. Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not? Banta puts his head out & says "Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!" ************ Santa's wife dies. He is calm, but his wife's lover is crying furiously... Finally, santa consoles him: Don't worry buddy, I will marry again. ************ Why did santa keep the door open while bathing? Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole. ************ Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home. The steering, dash board, gears of car have been stolen. After sometime he calls again: I am coming, earlier I sat on the back seat. [/QUOTE]
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