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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Radical78" data-source="post: 7364291" data-attributes="member: 272036">10 Husbands, Still a VirginA lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm  still a virgin."   "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?" "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how  great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was  supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.  Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out  diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order,  he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted  three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art  method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how,  but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was  never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss  him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!" "Good," said the new husband, "but, why?" "You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"Poor guy     A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks  into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.  He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the  girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and  goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his  wife:"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably  spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how  he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do  whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you.  This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be  strong, honey. I love you."To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas  whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and  asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be  strong honey. I love you too!!"     Girls night out     Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been  decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and  walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were  very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business  behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe  with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her  friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to  ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath  that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After  finishing, they made their way home.The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and  said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home  last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine  came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt  that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'    0 to 200 in 6 seconds Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife wasreally pissed.She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in thedriveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife wokeup, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a boxgift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, broughtthe box back in the house.She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.Bob has been missing since Friday.       Two zebras pondering     Two zebras are talking and one asks the other, "Am I black with white stripes or white with black stripes?" The other replies, "Well I don't know. You should pray to God about that and ask him." So that night he  did and God replied, "You are what you are." The next day he said to the  other zebra, "I still don't understand what I am because God just said, You  are what you are." The second zebra responds, "You must be white with black stripes or else God would have said, Yo is what yo is."   </blockquote>

Verification: Nawa warak dahaya keeyada? (Namaya wadi kireema dahaya)

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