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Message: <blockquote data-quote="MaD-DoC" data-source="post: 2343061" data-attributes="member: 56284"><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: magenta">I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: magenta"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: magenta">I do physical labor</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: magenta">I work at great depths</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: magenta">I plunge head first into everything I do</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: magenta">I do not get weekends off or public holidays</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: magenta">I work in a damp environment</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: magenta">I don't get paid overtime</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: magenta">I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: magenta">I work in high temperatures</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: magenta">My work exposes me to contagious diseases</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: magenta"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: magenta"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: magenta">Dear Penis, </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: magenta"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: magenta">After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: magenta"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: magenta">You do not work 8 hours straight</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: magenta">You fall asleep on the job after brief work period</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: magenta">You do not always follow the orders of the management team</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: magenta">You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: magenta">You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: magenta">You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: magenta">You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: magenta">You'll retire well before reaching 65</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: magenta">You're unable to work double shifts</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: magenta">You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work. And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: magenta"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: magenta">Sincerely,</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: magenta">The Management</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>

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