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ElaKiri Jokes
Sherlock Holmes & Dr.Watson jokes
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<blockquote data-quote="Sheri6" data-source="post: 11319869" data-attributes="member: 319752"><p><span style="font-size: 15px">SHERLOCK HOLMES AND DR. WATSON IN A HOT-AIR BALLOON </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are taking a trip across a desert by hot-air balloon. There are not many landmarks; so eventually, they become lost. Luckily, while flying quite low, they see a man. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Holmes shouts, "Sir, could you please tell me where we are?" </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">The man looks up, ponders for a moment, and then answers, "Gentlemen, you are in a hot-air balloon!" </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">At this moment, a burst of wind picks up the balloon and carries it away. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Holmes turns to Watson and asks: "My friend, do you know who that man is?" </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">"No, Holmes, of course not!" </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">"He's a mathematician!" </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">"Holmes, that's incredible! But *how* do you know?" </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">"It's very simple, Watson. First of all, the man thought before giving us an answer. Secondly, his answer was absolutely correct. And thirdly, the answer he gave us was of no practical use, whatsoever!"</span> <span style="font-size: 15px"> <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/nerd.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":nerd:" title="Nerd :nerd:" data-shortname=":nerd:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/nerd.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":nerd:" title="Nerd :nerd:" data-shortname=":nerd:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/D.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":D" title="Big grin :D" data-shortname=":D" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/nerd.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":nerd:" title="Nerd :nerd:" data-shortname=":nerd:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/nerd.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":nerd:" title="Nerd :nerd:" data-shortname=":nerd:" /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">SHERLOCK HOLMES AND DR. WATSON FACE THE CLOSED DOOR </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Dr. Watson arrives at 221-B Baker Street and is stunned to find his friend, Sherlock Holmes, out front, in an overall, applying a bright, yellow gloss to the front door. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">"Holmes, what is it?" asks the curious Watson. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">"A lemon entry, my dear Watson," replies Holmes.</span> <span style="font-size: 15px"> <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">SHERLOCK HOLMES AND DR. WATSON DISCOVER AN UNUSUAL PAINTING </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">One day, Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson were doing their usual investigative business, when they uncovered an unusual painting. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">At first glance, it looked like a picture of normal oak tree, in the middle of a wilderness, but if one looked closer, one could see that it was a remarkable painting. The tree trunk was actually made of fire, and its branches were made of ice, clouds and earth. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">"What is it, Holmes?" asked Watson in awe. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">"It's an Element tree, my dear Watson," replied Holmes. </span></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/D.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":D" title="Big grin :D" data-shortname=":D" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/D.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":D" title="Big grin :D" data-shortname=":D" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/D.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":D" title="Big grin :D" data-shortname=":D" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/D.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":D" title="Big grin :D" data-shortname=":D" /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">"Good evening ladies", Sherlock Holmes said as he passed</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"> three women eating bananas on a park bench.</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"> "Do you know them?" Dr. Watson asked.</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">"No", Holmes replied, "I've never met the nun, the</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">prostitute, or the bride we just passed."</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">"Good Lord, Holmes, how in the world did you know all that?"</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">"Elementary, my dear Watson. The nun ate the banana by</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">holding it one hand and using the fingers of the other</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">hand to properly break the fruit into small pieces."</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">"The prostitute", he continued, "grabbed with both hands</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">and crammed the whole thing into her mouth."</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">"Amazing!" Watson exclaimed. "But how did you know the</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">third was a newlywed?"</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">"Because she held it with one hand and pushed her head</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">toward it with the other."</span></span> <img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"> </span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></strong><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px">“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px">“And what do you deduce from that?”</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Watson ponders for a minute. “Well, </span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px">- Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px">- Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px">- Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px">- Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px">- Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. </span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px">But what does it tell you, Holmes?”</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Holmes is silent for a moment. </span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px">“Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”<img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/eek.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":eek:" title="eek :eek:" data-shortname=":eek:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/eek.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":eek:" title="eek :eek:" data-shortname=":eek:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/eek.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":eek:" title="eek :eek:" data-shortname=":eek:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/eek.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":eek:" title="eek :eek:" data-shortname=":eek:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype'">Sherlock Holmes: There's only at one case that intrigues me at present. The curious case of Mrs. Hudson, the absentee landlady. I've been studying her comings and goings, they appear most... sinister.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype'">Mrs.Hudson: Tea, Mr. Holmes? </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype'">Sherlock Holmes: Is it poisoned, Nanny? </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype'">Mrs.Hudson: There's enough of that in you already.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype'"><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/happy.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":)" title="Happy :)" data-shortname=":)" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/happy.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":)" title="Happy :)" data-shortname=":)" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/happy.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":)" title="Happy :)" data-shortname=":)" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/happy.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":)" title="Happy :)" data-shortname=":)" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/happy.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":)" title="Happy :)" data-shortname=":)" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/happy.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":)" title="Happy :)" data-shortname=":)" /></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Microsoft Sans Serif'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype'"></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><img src="http://www.geekrest.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/batman_sherlock_holmes.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sheri6, post: 11319869, member: 319752"] [SIZE=4]SHERLOCK HOLMES AND DR. WATSON IN A HOT-AIR BALLOON [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are taking a trip across a desert by hot-air balloon. There are not many landmarks; so eventually, they become lost. Luckily, while flying quite low, they see a man. [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]Holmes shouts, "Sir, could you please tell me where we are?" [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]The man looks up, ponders for a moment, and then answers, "Gentlemen, you are in a hot-air balloon!" [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]At this moment, a burst of wind picks up the balloon and carries it away. [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]Holmes turns to Watson and asks: "My friend, do you know who that man is?" [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]"No, Holmes, of course not!" [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]"He's a mathematician!" [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]"Holmes, that's incredible! But *how* do you know?" [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]"It's very simple, Watson. First of all, the man thought before giving us an answer. Secondly, his answer was absolutely correct. And thirdly, the answer he gave us was of no practical use, whatsoever!"[/SIZE] [SIZE=4] :nerd::nerd::D:nerd::nerd: [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]SHERLOCK HOLMES AND DR. WATSON FACE THE CLOSED DOOR [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]Dr. Watson arrives at 221-B Baker Street and is stunned to find his friend, Sherlock Holmes, out front, in an overall, applying a bright, yellow gloss to the front door. [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]"Holmes, what is it?" asks the curious Watson. [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]"A lemon entry, my dear Watson," replies Holmes.[/SIZE] [SIZE=4] :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:[/SIZE] [SIZE=4]SHERLOCK HOLMES AND DR. WATSON DISCOVER AN UNUSUAL PAINTING [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]One day, Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson were doing their usual investigative business, when they uncovered an unusual painting. [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]At first glance, it looked like a picture of normal oak tree, in the middle of a wilderness, but if one looked closer, one could see that it was a remarkable painting. The tree trunk was actually made of fire, and its branches were made of ice, clouds and earth. [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]"What is it, Holmes?" asked Watson in awe. [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]"It's an Element tree, my dear Watson," replied Holmes. [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]:D:D:D:D [/SIZE][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=4]"Good evening ladies", Sherlock Holmes said as he passed[/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=4] [/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=4] three women eating bananas on a park bench.[/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=4] "Do you know them?" Dr. Watson asked.[/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=4] "No", Holmes replied, "I've never met the nun, the[/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=4] prostitute, or the bride we just passed."[/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=4] "Good Lord, Holmes, how in the world did you know all that?"[/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=4] "Elementary, my dear Watson. The nun ate the banana by[/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=4] holding it one hand and using the fingers of the other hand to properly break the fruit into small pieces."[/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=4] "The prostitute", he continued, "grabbed with both hands[/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=4] and crammed the whole thing into her mouth."[/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=4] "Amazing!" Watson exclaimed. "But how did you know the[/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=4] third was a newlywed?"[/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=4] "Because she held it with one hand and pushed her head[/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=4] toward it with the other."[/SIZE][/FONT] :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: [B][SIZE=4] [/SIZE][/B][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4]Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” “I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson. “And what do you deduce from that?” Watson ponders for a minute. “Well, - Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. - Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. - Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. - Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. - Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. But what does it tell you, Holmes?” Holmes is silent for a moment. “Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”:lol::lol::eek::eek::eek::eek::lol::lol: [/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif][SIZE=4][FONT=Palatino Linotype]Sherlock Holmes: There's only at one case that intrigues me at present. The curious case of Mrs. Hudson, the absentee landlady. I've been studying her comings and goings, they appear most... sinister. Mrs.Hudson: Tea, Mr. Holmes? Sherlock Holmes: Is it poisoned, Nanny? Mrs.Hudson: There's enough of that in you already. :):):):):):) [/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=4][IMG]http://www.geekrest.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/batman_sherlock_holmes.jpg[/IMG] [/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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