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ElaKiri Jokes
Some true facts abt Women.............
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<blockquote data-quote="sajithgamage" data-source="post: 963057" data-attributes="member: 5281"><p><span style="font-size: 15px">In the world of romance, one single rule applies to men:</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">You don't get any points for doing something she expects.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Sorry, that's the way the game is played.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Here is a guide to the point system:</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">SIMPLE DUTIES</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">You make the bed (+1)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8) But return</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">with</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Beer (-5)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">You pummel it with iron rod (+10)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">It's her pet (-10)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">You stay by her side the entire party (0)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">buddy</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">(-2)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Named Rita (-4)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Rita is a dancer (-6)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Rita is single and is really beautiful (-80)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">HER BIRTHDAY</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">You forget her birthday (-50000)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">You take her out to dinner (0)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">the</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">colours of your favourite team (-10)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">A NIGHT OUT</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">You take her to a movie (+2)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">You take her to a movie she likes (+4)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">You take her to a movie you hate (+6)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">You take her to a movie you like (-2)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">You hesitate in responding (-10)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">You reply, "Where?" (-35)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Any other response (-20)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">COMMUNICATION</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">looks</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">like a concerned __expression (0)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Now what chance do you have???</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p></p><p></p><p><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /><img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/default/lol.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":lol:" title="LOL :lol:" data-shortname=":lol:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="sajithgamage, post: 963057, member: 5281"] [SIZE="4"]In the world of romance, one single rule applies to men: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system: SIMPLE DUTIES You make the bed (+1) You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0) You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1) You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8) But return with Beer (-5) You check out a suspicious noise at night (0) You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0) You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5) You pummel it with iron rod (+10) It's her pet (-10) SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS You stay by her side the entire party (0) You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2) Named Rita (-4) Rita is a dancer (-6) Rita is single and is really beautiful (-80) HER BIRTHDAY You forget her birthday (-50000) You take her out to dinner (0) You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1) Okay, it's a sports bar (-2) And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3) It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10) A NIGHT OUT You take her to a movie (+2) You take her to a movie she likes (+4) You take her to a movie you hate (+6) You take her to a movie you like (-2) It's called 'DeathCop' (-3) You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15) ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT] You hesitate in responding (-10) You reply, "Where?" (-35) Any other response (-20) COMMUNICATION When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned __expression (0) You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50) You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500) She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000) Now what chance do you have??? [/SIZE] :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: [/QUOTE]
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