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Message: <blockquote data-quote="twisted" data-source="post: 18210061" data-attributes="member: 82108">Bozo the Clown's Happy Fun Time!Requires: sawn-off shotgun, clown costume, wig and make up. Bonus points for squeaky oversized shoes and a loose white jumpsuit with colorful spots. Circus music is recommended but not necessary<ol> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Practice applying your makeup for a convincing clown look. This is your big day, you don't want to look like a confused crack whore</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Hide your shotgun. Bonus points for hilarious disguises such as a bouquet of plastic flowers</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Walk into the local elementary school</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Pick a class room. First graders are an appropriate audience so doing discreet research beforehand is recommended. Leave any music box outside the door and turn it on just as you step in</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Step in smiling widely and greet the children in a boisterous manner. Lines such as "hey kids, Bozo the clown is here!" are optimal. Practice in front of a mirror beforehand. You only have one shot at this</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Ignore the teacher and ask the kids if they wish to see a magic trick. Remember to over emote and speak with a funny voice</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Time for the big finale! If your weapon's disguise is good enough, the kids aren't hiding under their tables yet and you're still smiling like a retard, captivating their attention with your show. Tell them you're going to use the flowers to make your head disappear! Remember to smile all the way through as you bring the flowers to your mouth and make the magic work. Leaning slightly forward is likely to give a better view</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Success! Your show will be the talk of the community for years to come and will not be easily forgotten!</li> </ol></blockquote>

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