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Message: <blockquote data-quote="twisted" data-source="post: 18210360" data-attributes="member: 82108">Christmaside<ol> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Acquire a Santa Claus costume, a suicide bomb, a large bag, and several stuffed animals.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Around mid-December, fill the bag with the stuffed animals and equip the suicide bomb to yourself underneath your Santa Claus costume.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Stand on the roof of a fairly tall, but low enough for people to notice you, building above a crowded street.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Gently toss the stuffed animals over the edge of the roof while shouting, "Ho, ho, ho!" "Merry Christmas!" etc.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">This should draw the attention of several small children. If it doesn't, try to advertise your, "deed," as best you can from the rooftop.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">When you've either:</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Drawn the attention of a substantial amount of children</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Run out of stuffed animals, or</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Drawn the attention of the local authorities, throw yourself over the edge of the building while screaming, Allah!</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">When you're roughly 20 feet from the ground, detonate the bomb. If you've performed this correctly, your corpse should be blown to pieces, showering several children with your mutilated remains. This will be talked about for years to come, and will permanently scar the minds of every child who witnesses your heroic act.</li> </ol>NOTE: If you've drawn the attention of the media and your suicide is broadcast on live television, your heroic act can become an heroic act.Also known as Santacide.</blockquote>

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