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<blockquote data-quote="b squad" data-source="post: 6080984" data-attributes="member: 107649">HELLO OPERATOR&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Actual call center conversations!Customer:&nbsp;&nbsp; 'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; can you help?'Operator:&nbsp; &nbsp; 'Where did you get that number, sir?'Customer:&nbsp;&nbsp; 'It's on the door of the business.'Operator:&nbsp; &nbsp; 'Sir, those are the hours that the business is open.'+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Samsung ElectronicsCaller:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'Operator:&nbsp;&nbsp; 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.'Caller:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; number for Jack?'Operator:&nbsp;&nbsp; 'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.'------------------------------------------------------- --------------- Directory EnquiriesCaller:&nbsp; 'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please.'Operator:&nbsp; 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spellingis correct?'Caller:&nbsp; 'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off.' ------------------ ----------------------------------------------------On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:&nbsp; 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.'---------------------------------------------------------------------- Tech Support:&nbsp; 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'Customer:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'OK.'Tech Support:&nbsp; 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'Customer:&nbsp; &nbsp; 'No.'Tech Support:&nbsp; 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'Customer:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'No.'Tech Support:&nbsp; 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; point?'Customer:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.' ----------------------------------------------------------------------Caller:&nbsp; 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?'----------------------------------------------------------------------This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.(Now I know why they record these conversations!): Operator:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'Caller:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'Operator:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 'What sort of trouble??'Caller:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; went away.'Operator:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 'Went away?'Caller:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'They disappeared'Operator:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'Caller:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'Nothing.'Operator:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 'Nothing??'Caller:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'Operator:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'Caller:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'How do I tell?'Operator:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'Caller:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'What's a sea-prompt?'Operator:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'Caller:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; type.'Operator:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'Caller:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'What's a monitor?'Operator:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'Caller:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'I don't know.'Operator:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'Caller:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'Yes, I think so.'Operator:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; plugged into the wall.Caller:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'Yes, it is.'Operator:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; one? 'Caller:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'No.'Operator:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; find the other cable.'Caller:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 'Okay, here it is.'Operator:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; the back of your computer..'Caller:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 'I can't reach.'Operator:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'Caller:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 'No..'Operator:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; way over?'Caller:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; because it's dark.'Operator:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'Dark?'Caller:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; coming in from the window.'Operator:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'Well, turn on the office light then.'Caller:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 'I can't.'Operator:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'No? Why not?'Caller:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 'Because there's a power failure.'Operator:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'A power ...... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; packing stuff that your computer came in?'Caller:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'Operator:&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; the store you bought it from.'Caller:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'Really? Is it that bad?'Operator:&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'Caller:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'Operator:&nbsp; &nbsp; 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!'</blockquote>

[QUOTE="b squad, post: 6080984, member: 107649"] HELLO OPERATOR Actual call center conversations! Customer: 'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; can you help?' Operator: 'Where did you get that number, sir?' Customer: 'It's on the door of the business.' Operator: 'Sir, those are the hours that the business is open.' +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Samsung Electronics Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?' Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.' Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?' Operator: 'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.' ------------------------------------------------------- --------------- Directory Enquiries Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please.' Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?' Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off.' ------------------ ---------------------------------------------------- On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.' ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.' Customer: 'OK.' Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?' Customer: 'No.' Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?' Customer: 'No.' Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?' Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.' ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?' ---------------------------------------------------------------------- This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.' Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!): Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?' Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.' Operator: 'What sort of trouble??' Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.' Operator: 'Went away?' Caller: 'They disappeared' Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?' Caller: 'Nothing.' Operator: 'Nothing??' Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.' Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?' Caller: 'How do I tell?' Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?' Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?' Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?' Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type.' Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??' Caller: 'What's a monitor?' Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?' Caller: 'I don't know.' Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??' Caller: 'Yes, I think so.' Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall. Caller: 'Yes, it is.' Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? ' Caller: 'No.' Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.' Caller: 'Okay, here it is.' Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer..' Caller: 'I can't reach.' Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?' Caller: 'No..' Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?' Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.' Operator: 'Dark?' Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.' Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.' Caller: 'I can't.' Operator: 'No? Why not?' Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.' Operator: 'A power ...... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?' Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.' Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.' Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?' Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.' Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?' Operator: 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!' [/QUOTE]

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