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ElaKiri Jokes
The IRS decides to audit Grandpa
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<blockquote data-quote="kumu123" data-source="post: 6751774" data-attributes="member: 56125"><p>The commissioner of income Tax decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to income Tax office.</p><p></p><p>The commissioner of income Tax was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.</p><p></p><p>The commissioner said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle</p><p>and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win</p><p>money gambling. </p><p></p><p>`I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'</p><p></p><p>The commissioner thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.' Grandpa says,</p><p> 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'</p><p></p><p></p><p>The commissioner of income Tax thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'</p><p></p><p>Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The commissioner's jaw drops.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'</p><p></p><p>Now the commissioner can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet. </p><p>Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.</p><p></p><p></p><p>The stunned commissioner now realizes he has wagered and lost three</p><p>grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.</p><p></p><p></p><p> 'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks, 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars </p><p>that I can stand on one side of your desk, and piss into that waste basket on the other side, </p><p>and never get a drop any where in between.'</p><p></p><p></p><p>The commissioner, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and </p><p>decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.</p><p></p><p> Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, </p><p>he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, </p><p>so he pretty much urinates all over the commissioner's desk.</p><p></p><p>The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.</p><p></p><p>But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.</p><p></p><p> 'Are you okay?' the commissioner asks.</p><p></p><p>'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, </p><p>he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that </p><p>he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!' </p><p></p><p> I keep telling you! Don't mess with Old People!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="kumu123, post: 6751774, member: 56125"] The commissioner of income Tax decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to income Tax office. The commissioner of income Tax was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney. The commissioner said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. `I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?' The commissioner thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.' Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.' The commissioner of income Tax thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.' Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The commissioner's jaw drops. Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.' Now the commissioner can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned commissioner now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous. 'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks, 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and piss into that waste basket on the other side, and never get a drop any where in between.' The commissioner, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again. Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the commissioner's desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands. 'Are you okay?' the commissioner asks. 'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!' I keep telling you! Don't mess with Old People!! [/QUOTE]
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Hathara warak wissa keeyada? (Hathara wadi karanna 20)
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