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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Doly" data-source="post: 2972175" data-attributes="member: 118820"><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><strong><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: green">1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.</span></span></span></span></strong><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: orange">2. I don't suffer from Insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: purple">3. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: blue">4. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to Kill them.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: brown">5. I used to have a Handle on Life, but it Broke.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: teal">6. Don't take life too Seriously; No one gets out Alive.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: red">7. You're just Jealous because the Voices only Talk to me.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: maroon">8. Beauty is in the Eye of the Beer Holder.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: magenta">9. Earth is the Insane Asylum for the Universe.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: navy">10. I'm not a Complete Idiot -- Some Parts are Missing.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: green">11. Out of my Mind. Back in five minutes.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: orange">12. NyQuil, the Stuffy, Sneezy, Why-The-Heck-Is-The-Room-Spinning Medicine.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: purple">13. God must love Stupid People; He made so many.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: blue">14. The Gene Pool could use a Little Chlorine.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: brown">15. Consciousness: That Annoying time between Naps.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: teal">16. Ever Stop to Think, and Forget to Start Again?</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: red">17. Being "Over the Hill" is Much Better than being under it!</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: navy">18. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: magenta">19. Procrastinate Now!</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: maroon">20. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: green">21. A hangover is the Wrath of Grapes.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: orange">22. A Journey of a Thousand miles begins with a Cash Advance.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: purple">23. Stupidity is not a Handicap. Park elsewhere!</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: blue">24.They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: brown">25. He who dies with the Most Toys is Nonetheless Dead.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: teal">26. A picture is worth a Thousand Words, but it uses up three thousand Times the Memory.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: red">27. Ham and Eggs. A day's work for a Chicken, a lifetime commitment for a Pig.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: navy">28. The Trouble with life is there's no Background Music.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: magenta">29. The Original Point and click Interface was a Smith and Wesson.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: maroon">30. I Smile! because I don't know what the Hell is Going On</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>

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