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Thirty Lines To Make You Smile
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<blockquote data-quote="Doly" data-source="post: 2972175" data-attributes="member: 118820"><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><strong><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="color: green">1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.</span></span></span></span></strong><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: orange">2. I don't suffer from Insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: purple">3. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: blue">4. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to Kill them.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: brown">5. I used to have a Handle on Life, but it Broke.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: teal">6. Don't take life too Seriously; No one gets out Alive.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: red">7. You're just Jealous because the Voices only Talk to me.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: maroon">8. Beauty is in the Eye of the Beer Holder.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: magenta">9. Earth is the Insane Asylum for the Universe.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: navy">10. I'm not a Complete Idiot -- Some Parts are Missing.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: green">11. Out of my Mind. Back in five minutes.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: orange">12. NyQuil, the Stuffy, Sneezy, Why-The-Heck-Is-The-Room-Spinning Medicine.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: purple">13. God must love Stupid People; He made so many.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: blue">14. The Gene Pool could use a Little Chlorine.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: brown">15. Consciousness: That Annoying time between Naps.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: teal">16. Ever Stop to Think, and Forget to Start Again?</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: red">17. Being "Over the Hill" is Much Better than being under it!</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: navy">18. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: magenta">19. Procrastinate Now!</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: maroon">20. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: green">21. A hangover is the Wrath of Grapes.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: orange">22. A Journey of a Thousand miles begins with a Cash Advance.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: purple">23. Stupidity is not a Handicap. Park elsewhere!</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: blue">24.They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: brown">25. He who dies with the Most Toys is Nonetheless Dead.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: teal">26. A picture is worth a Thousand Words, but it uses up three thousand Times the Memory.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: red">27. Ham and Eggs. A day's work for a Chicken, a lifetime commitment for a Pig.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: navy">28. The Trouble with life is there's no Background Music.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: magenta">29. The Original Point and click Interface was a Smith and Wesson.</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'papyrus'"><span style="color: navy"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><span style="color: maroon">30. I Smile! because I don't know what the Hell is Going On</span></strong></span></span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Doly, post: 2972175, member: 118820"] [FONT=papyrus][B][COLOR=navy][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=green]1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=navy][SIZE=4][FONT=Comic Sans MS] [B][COLOR=orange]2. I don't suffer from Insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=purple]3. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me![/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=blue]4. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to Kill them.[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=brown]5. I used to have a Handle on Life, but it Broke.[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=teal]6. Don't take life too Seriously; No one gets out Alive.[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=red]7. You're just Jealous because the Voices only Talk to me.[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=maroon]8. Beauty is in the Eye of the Beer Holder.[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=magenta]9. Earth is the Insane Asylum for the Universe.[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=navy]10. I'm not a Complete Idiot -- Some Parts are Missing.[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=green]11. Out of my Mind. Back in five minutes.[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=orange]12. NyQuil, the Stuffy, Sneezy, Why-The-Heck-Is-The-Room-Spinning Medicine.[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=purple]13. God must love Stupid People; He made so many.[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=blue]14. The Gene Pool could use a Little Chlorine.[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=brown]15. Consciousness: That Annoying time between Naps.[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=teal]16. Ever Stop to Think, and Forget to Start Again?[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=red]17. Being "Over the Hill" is Much Better than being under it![/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=navy]18. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=magenta]19. Procrastinate Now![/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=maroon]20. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=green]21. A hangover is the Wrath of Grapes.[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=orange]22. A Journey of a Thousand miles begins with a Cash Advance.[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=purple]23. Stupidity is not a Handicap. Park elsewhere![/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=blue]24.They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=brown]25. He who dies with the Most Toys is Nonetheless Dead.[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=teal]26. A picture is worth a Thousand Words, but it uses up three thousand Times the Memory.[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=red]27. Ham and Eggs. A day's work for a Chicken, a lifetime commitment for a Pig.[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=navy]28. The Trouble with life is there's no Background Music.[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=magenta]29. The Original Point and click Interface was a Smith and Wesson.[/COLOR][/B] [B][COLOR=maroon]30. I Smile! because I don't know what the Hell is Going On[/COLOR][/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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