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<blockquote data-quote="Shann.." data-source="post: 4483967" data-attributes="member: 123076"><p style="text-align: right"><p style="text-align: right"><p style="text-align: right"></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p><p style="text-align: right"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><strong><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><strong><em>When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.</em></strong></span></span></em></strong> </p> </p></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p><p style="text-align: center"></p></p> <p style="text-align: right"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: right"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: right"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 26px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><strong>David Bissonette</strong></span></span></span></strong> </p></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p> <p style="text-align: right"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: right"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: right"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p> <p style="text-align: right"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: right"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><strong><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><strong><em>After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.</em></strong></span></span></em></strong> </p> </p></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p><p style="text-align: center"></p></p> <p style="text-align: right"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: right"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: right"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 26px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><strong>Sacha Guitry</strong></span></span></span></strong> </p></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p> <p style="text-align: right"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: right"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: right"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p> <p style="text-align: right"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: right"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><strong><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><strong><em>By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.</em></strong></span></span></em></strong> </p> </p> </p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 26px"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 26px"></span></p><p style="text-align: right"><span style="font-size: 26px"><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy">Socrates</span></span></strong></p> </p></p> <p style="text-align: center"></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><strong><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><strong><em>Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.</em></strong></span></span></em></strong> </p> </p></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p><p style="text-align: center"></p></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span><p style="text-align: center"><strong><em><span style="font-size: 26px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><strong><em>Anonymous</em></strong></span></span></span></em></strong> </p></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><strong><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><strong><em>The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?</em></strong></span></span></em></strong> </p> </p></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p><p style="text-align: center"></p></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 26px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><strong>Dumas</strong></span></span></span></strong> </p></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><strong><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><strong><em>I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.</em></strong></span></span></em></strong> </p> </p></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><strong>Sigmund Freud</strong></span></span></span></span></strong> </p></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><strong><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><strong><em>'Some people ask the secret of=2 0our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'</em></strong></span></span></em></strong> </p> </p></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p><p style="text-align: center"></p></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 26px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><strong>Anonymous</strong></span></span></span></strong> </p></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p><p style="text-align: center"><strong><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><strong><em>'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'</em></strong></span></span></em></strong> </p></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><strong>Sam Kinison</strong></span></span></span></span></strong></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p style="text-align: right"></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p> </p><p></p><p style="text-align: right"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><strong><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><strong><em>'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'</em></strong></span></span></em></strong> </p> </p></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p> <p style="text-align: right"></p><p></p><p style="text-align: center"></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 26px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><strong>James Holt McGavra</strong></span></span></span></strong></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p style="text-align: right"></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p> </p><p></p><p style="text-align: right"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><strong><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><strong><em>Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming </em></strong></span></span></em></strong></p> </p> </p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 26px"></span></span></em></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 26px"></span></span></em></strong></p><p style="text-align: right"><strong><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><p style="text-align: center"><em><strong>1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, </strong></em></p></span></span></em></strong></p><p style="text-align: center"><strong><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 26px"></p></span></span></em></strong></p><p style="text-align: center"><strong><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 26px"></p></span></span></em></strong></p><p style="text-align: center"><strong><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><em><strong>2. Whenever you're right, shut up.</strong></em></p> </p></p> <p style="text-align: center"></span></span></em></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p><p style="text-align: center"></p></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 26px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><strong>Patrick Murra</strong></span></span></span></strong> </p></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><strong><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><strong><em>The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....</em></strong></span></span></em></strong> </p> </p></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p><p style="text-align: center"></p></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 26px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><strong>Nash</strong></span></span></span></strong> </p></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><strong><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><strong><em>You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.</em></strong></span></span></em></strong> </p> </p></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><strong>Anonymous </strong></span></span></span></span></strong></p></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><strong><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><strong><em>My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.</em></strong></span></span></em></strong> </p> </p></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p><p style="text-align: center"></p></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 26px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><strong>Henny Youngman</strong></span></span></span></strong> </p></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><strong><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><strong><em>A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.</em></strong></span></span></em></strong> </p> </p></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><strong>Rodney Dangerfield</strong></span></span></span></span></strong> </p></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><strong><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><strong><em>A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'</em></strong></span></span></em></strong> </p> </p></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 26px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><strong>Anonymous</strong></span></span></span></strong> < /SPAN></p></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><strong><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><strong><em>First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'& nbsp;</em></strong></span></span></em></strong></p> </p></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 26px"></span></span></em></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 26px"></span></span></em></strong></p><p style="text-align: right"><strong><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><p style="text-align: center"><em><strong>Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'</strong></em></p> </p></p> <p style="text-align: center"></span></span></em></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p><p style="text-align: center"></p></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span><p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 26px"><span style="color: navy"><span style="color: navy"><strong>Anonymous</strong></span></span></span></strong> </p></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shann.., post: 4483967, member: 123076"] [RIGHT][RIGHT][RIGHT] [RIGHT][CENTER][CENTER][B][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=7][B][I]When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.[/I][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/FONT][CENTER][B][SIZE=7][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][B]David Bissonette[/B][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [/CENTER] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/FONT] [/RIGHT] [/RIGHT] [/RIGHT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT] [CENTER][CENTER][B][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=7][B][I]After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.[/I][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/FONT][CENTER][B][SIZE=7][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][B]Sacha Guitry[/B][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [/CENTER] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT] [CENTER][CENTER][B][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=7][B][I]By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.[/I][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/RIGHT] [CENTER][SIZE=7] [RIGHT][CENTER][B][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy]Socrates[/COLOR][/COLOR][/B][/CENTER] [/RIGHT] [/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT] [CENTER][CENTER][B][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=7][B][I]Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.[/I][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/FONT][CENTER][B][I][SIZE=7][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][B][I]Anonymous[/I][/B][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/I][/B] [/CENTER] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT] [CENTER][CENTER][B][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=7][B][I]The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?[/I][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/FONT][CENTER][B][SIZE=7][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][B]Dumas[/B][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [/CENTER] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT] [CENTER][CENTER][B][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=7][B][I]I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.[/I][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [CENTER][B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=7][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][B]Sigmund Freud[/B][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [/CENTER] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT] [CENTER][CENTER][B][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=7][B][I]'Some people ask the secret of=2 0our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'[/I][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/FONT][CENTER][B][SIZE=7][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][B]Anonymous[/B][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [/CENTER] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT] [CENTER][B][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=7][B][I]'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'[/I][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B] [/CENTER] [B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=7][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][B]Sam Kinison[/B][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/FONT] [RIGHT][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT][/RIGHT][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT] [RIGHT][CENTER][CENTER][B][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=7][B][I]'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'[/I][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/RIGHT] [CENTER][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/FONT][CENTER][B][SIZE=7][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][B]James Holt McGavra[/B][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][/CENTER] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/FONT] [RIGHT][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT][/RIGHT][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT] [RIGHT][CENTER][CENTER][B][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=7][B][I]Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming [/I][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B][/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/RIGHT] [CENTER][B][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=7] [RIGHT][CENTER][I][B]1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, [/B][/I] [I][B]2. Whenever you're right, shut up.[/B][/I][/CENTER] [/RIGHT] [/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B] [CENTER][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/FONT][CENTER][B][SIZE=7][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][B]Patrick Murra[/B][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [/CENTER] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT] [CENTER][CENTER][B][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=7][B][I]The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....[/I][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/FONT][CENTER][B][SIZE=7][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][B]Nash[/B][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [/CENTER] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT] [CENTER][CENTER][B][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=7][B][I]You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.[/I][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [CENTER][B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=7][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][B]Anonymous [/B][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT] [CENTER][CENTER][B][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=7][B][I]My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.[/I][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/FONT][CENTER][B][SIZE=7][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][B]Henny Youngman[/B][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [/CENTER] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT] [CENTER][CENTER][B][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=7][B][I]A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.[/I][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [CENTER][B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=7][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][B]Rodney Dangerfield[/B][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [/CENTER] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT] [CENTER][CENTER][B][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=7][B][I]A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'[/I][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [CENTER][B][SIZE=7][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][B]Anonymous[/B][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] < /SPAN>[/CENTER] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT] [CENTER][CENTER][B][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=7][B][I]First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'& nbsp;[/I][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B][/CENTER] [/CENTER] [B][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=7] [RIGHT][CENTER][I][B]Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'[/B][/I][/CENTER] [/RIGHT] [/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B] [CENTER][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/FONT][CENTER][B][SIZE=7][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][B]Anonymous[/B][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/QUOTE]
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