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<blockquote data-quote="Vishwalisha" data-source="post: 4182156" data-attributes="member: 60657"><p>[FONT=Verdana,Arial]<span style="font-size: 10px">Driving to the office this morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Mustang doing 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner!</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup!!! It scared me (I'm a man) so bad, I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car usingmy knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the damn phone and DISCONNECTED AN IMPORTANT CALL!</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">WOMEN DRIVERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!</span>[/FONT]</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>[FONT=Verdana,Arial]<span style="font-size: 10px">The new Men's Thesaurus - on sale now at your local book stores!:</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">"I'M GOING FISHING"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid,and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">IT'S A GUY THING"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Means: "I have no idea how it works."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Means: "Are you still talking?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES".</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Means: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">"I CAN'T FIND IT."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">clueless."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Means: "What did you catch me at?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">"I HEARD YOU."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">"I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."</span>[/FONT]</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Vishwalisha, post: 4182156, member: 60657"] [FONT=Verdana,Arial][SIZE=2]Driving to the office this morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Mustang doing 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner! I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup!!! It scared me (I'm a man) so bad, I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car usingmy knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the damn phone and DISCONNECTED AN IMPORTANT CALL! WOMEN DRIVERS!!!!!!!!!!!!![/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana,Arial][SIZE=2]The new Men's Thesaurus - on sale now at your local book stores!: "I'M GOING FISHING" Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid,and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety." IT'S A GUY THING" Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical". "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?" "UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..." Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response. "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" Means: "I have no idea how it works." "I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND." Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra." "TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD". Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner." "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR." Means: "Are you still talking?" "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday." "I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES". Means: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe." "OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL." Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt." "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING". Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon." "I CAN'T FIND IT." Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless." "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" Means: "What did you catch me at?" "I HEARD YOU." "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me." "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE." Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse." "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC." Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving." "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE." Means: "No one will ever see us alive again." "WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK." Means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."[/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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