sms jokes

[ZurieL]

Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, nice smile .... but that is enough about me, tell me how you are?

Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in?
that's how dogs spend their lives.

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message

CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.

I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream!

This is the telephone terrorist team. While receiving this message a virus will be activated. This virus should have infected your mobile by now. Your mobile will be disabled, unless you are ugly.

We will now upgrade your brain.......Please wait........Searching.......Searching.......Still searching........Sorry, no brain found !!!

Your future depends on your dreams - So go to sleep!

HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket,the smell is unbearable!!!

20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one idiot is now holding his mobile in his hand

No one has ever complained of a parachute not opening.

God created the earth, God created the woods, God created you too, but yes, even God makes mistakes!

Love is photogenic; it needs darkness to develop

If being ugly would hurt, you would be in pain all day long.
?
Love me or leave me. Hey,where is everybody going ???

Scientists in the US proved that people who do not perform well in bed and who have difficulties to come hold their mobile in their right hand ..................]

Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!!

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

Always remember you're unique - just like everyone else.

 

[kasun1986]

mata kadda behe

 

[ZurieL]

mata kadda behe

dannawa...

 

[anuru_1]

ah i hv this collection gv more...........

 

[ZurieL]

When you feel lonely, Cheer up! Just go to the mirror and say "Shit! I'm really so cute!" You'll overcome your sadness. But don't make it a habit cause liars go to HELL!


I wanted to tell you that I truly treasure our friendship- you mean a lot to me. You cry...I cry. You laugh..I laugh. You jump out of the window...I...I...I...look down and then I laugh again.


He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" -
but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words

I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works

Haven't I seen your face before - on a police poster?

Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today

You know what I pray to God everyday in the morning that everyone gets a friend like you. Why should only I suffer?

I look at the stars, the stars are beautiful. I look at you..I....I...I'd rather look at the stars again!

Those innocent eyes..Those kissable lips...A great smile...The perfect walk..Smoothest talk...Absolutely gorgeous...Thats enough about me..How are you?


Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty..so the world needs YOU after all!

im at the police station.The police caught me & filed a case against me "possession of good looks".i'm doomed! i need someone ugly 2 bail me out-so hurry up

If your face had "Welcome" written on it,
it would make a perfect doormat

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.

it goes in dry, it comes out wet,
the stronger its in the stronger it get,
we can have it in bed just u n me,
not what u think
- teabag

U picked me up,u took me home,u put ur hands around my waist,u took off my top,den u put ur lips om mine. THANK GOD im a bottle of PEPSI.


UR 100%beautiful UR 100%lovely UR 100%sweet? UR 100%nice??? and UR 100%stupid to believe these words!

 

[malinrock]

nice

 

[fazil00789]

mara collection ekak ne......................maxxa sis

 

[ZurieL]

nice

 

[ZurieL]

nice

mara collection ekak ne......................maxxa sis

tnx bro

 

[anuru_1]

Wife:What is 10 years with me?
Husband:A second.

Wife:What is $1000 for me?
Husband:A coin.

Wife: Ok give me a coin.
Husband:Wait a second

TEACHER: Johny, how do you spell “crocodile”?
JOHNY: “K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”

TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
JOHNY: Maybe it’s wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!


Two devils came in 2 my dreams.
They said,
“We want 2 disturb some good person.”
I suggest them your name.
They said,
“We cannot disturb our boss.”



Only true friends stand by u
during bad times.
I promise
I will attend ur wedding.

posted

ove

True Love is like a pillow.
U could HUG it when Ur in trouble.
U could CRY on it when Ur in pain.
U could EMBRACE it when Ur happy.
Want True Love?
Spend Rs.50 buy a Pillow.

posted in Funny SMS, Misleading SMS
Before and after marriage

Before Marriage:-

He: yes! atlast it was so hard 2 wait
she:do you want me 2 leave?
He: No! don’t even think about it
She: do you love me ?
Hefcourse! over n over!
She:have u ever cheated on me?
He:No!y r u even asking?
She:will u go on wid me on picnic?
He:every chance I get!
She:will u hit me ?
He:R u crazy?I’m not that kind of person!
She:can I trust u?
He:yes..
She: Darling!

After marriage…
Now simply read from bottom to top


When u feel sad….
To cheer up just go to the mirror and say,
“damn I am really so cute”
u will overcome your sadness.
But don’t make this a habit…..
Coz liars go to hell !!!!


Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born


Man at medical store:I need poison
Chemist: I can’t sell you that

Man shows his marriage certificate
.
.
.
Chemist: Oh! sorry,
I didn’t knew u had a prescription.



Last night was my fault,
my wife asked,
“what’s on the TV?”
and ….. I said, “dust!”


Ladies hostel caught Fire
It took 1 hour to bring the Fire under control
& another 3 hrs 2 bring d Firemen
under control.


What? is a difference between
a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey?

A kiss is so dear,?
A car is too dear and
A monkey is U dear.


Husband:u will never succeed
in making that dog obey u!
Wife:Nonsense it’s only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with u at first.

posted in Funny SMS, Wife SMS
I was a fool when I married you.

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife,
You know, I was a fool when I married you.
She replied, Yes dear, I know
but I was in love and didnt notice.


What happens when a lion roars thrice?
-
-
-
-
-
Think
-
-
-
-
-
Any guess?
-
-
-
-
-
Ok i will tell you..
-
-
-
-
-
Tom & jerry cartoon begins!


Do u know whats A B C D E F G?
A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl

Now reverse da order, can u guess the full form of: G F E D C B A ?
Girls Forgets Everything Done & Catches(new) Boy Again.

posted in Cool/Decent SMS, Flirt SMS, Funny SMS
When u feel lonely and alone

When u feel lonely and alone
& cannot see any one around you,
the world seems to be fading away,
come along with me
i’ll take u to an eye specialist !!

 

[ZurieL]

Wife:What is 10 years with me?
Husband:A second.

Wife:What is $1000 for me?
Husband:A coin.

Wife: Ok give me a coin.
Husband:Wait a second

TEACHER: Johny, how do you spell “crocodile”?
JOHNY: “K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”

TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
JOHNY: Maybe it’s wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!


Two devils came in 2 my dreams.
They said,
“We want 2 disturb some good person.”
I suggest them your name.
They said,
“We cannot disturb our boss.”



Only true friends stand by u
during bad times.
I promise
I will attend ur wedding.

posted

ove

True Love is like a pillow.
U could HUG it when Ur in trouble.
U could CRY on it when Ur in pain.
U could EMBRACE it when Ur happy.
Want True Love?
Spend Rs.50 buy a Pillow.

posted in Funny SMS, Misleading SMS
Before and after marriage

Before Marriage:-

He: yes! atlast it was so hard 2 wait
she:do you want me 2 leave?
He: No! don’t even think about it
She: do you love me ?
Hefcourse! over n over!
She:have u ever cheated on me?
He:No!y r u even asking?
She:will u go on wid me on picnic?
He:every chance I get!
She:will u hit me ?
He:R u crazy?I’m not that kind of person!
She:can I trust u?
He:yes..
She: Darling!

After marriage…
Now simply read from bottom to top


When u feel sad….
To cheer up just go to the mirror and say,
“damn I am really so cute”
u will overcome your sadness.
But don’t make this a habit…..
Coz liars go to hell !!!!


Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born


Man at medical store:I need poison
Chemist: I can’t sell you that

Man shows his marriage certificate
.
.
.
Chemist: Oh! sorry,
I didn’t knew u had a prescription.



Last night was my fault,
my wife asked,
“what’s on the TV?”
and ….. I said, “dust!”


Ladies hostel caught Fire
It took 1 hour to bring the Fire under control
& another 3 hrs 2 bring d Firemen
under control.


What? is a difference between
a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey?

A kiss is so dear,?
A car is too dear and
A monkey is U dear.


Husband:u will never succeed
in making that dog obey u!
Wife:Nonsense it’s only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with u at first.

posted in Funny SMS, Wife SMS
I was a fool when I married you.

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife,
You know, I was a fool when I married you.
She replied, Yes dear, I know
but I was in love and didnt notice.


What happens when a lion roars thrice?
-
-
-
-
-
Think
-
-
-
-
-
Any guess?
-
-
-
-
-
Ok i will tell you..
-
-
-
-
-
Tom & jerry cartoon begins!


Do u know whats A B C D E F G?
A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl

Now reverse da order, can u guess the full form of: G F E D C B A ?
Girls Forgets Everything Done & Catches(new) Boy Again.

posted in Cool/Decent SMS, Flirt SMS, Funny SMS
When u feel lonely and alone

When u feel lonely and alone
& cannot see any one around you,
the world seems to be fading away,
come along with me
i’ll take u to an eye specialist !!

 

[Djram]

 

[anuru_1]

Do u know whats A B C D E F G?
A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl

Now reverse da order, can u guess the full form of: G F E D C B A ?
Girls Forgets Everything Done & Catches(new) Boy Again.


i like this............................

 

[sandun36]

great work dude!

 

[ZurieL]

Do u know whats A B C D E F G?
A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl

Now reverse da order, can u guess the full form of: G F E D C B A ?
Girls Forgets Everything Done & Catches(new) Boy Again.


i like this............................

 

[BEN TANNYSON]

thanks sis niyamai

 

[ZurieL]

thanks sis niyamai

welcome bro

 

[shenat]

mechchara kiyawanne kohomada..

 

[nelik]

 

[amilapriyankara.dsc]

............
passe kalekadi wedagath weyi....