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  1. ColdBreath

    Whale

    A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the...
  2. ColdBreath

    100 Pounds of Dynamite

    The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, "What a great chest you have!" He tells her, "That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby." He takes off his pants and the blonde says,' "What massive calves you have!" The body builder tells her, "That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby."...
  3. ColdBreath

    The Rude Parrot

    David received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an obscenity. Those that weren't expletives, were to say the least, rude. David tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying...
  4. ColdBreath

    The Train

    A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both "married to other people," found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he...
  5. ColdBreath

    One Too Many?

    A man decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn't want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. Half-way up the stairs, he falls...
  6. ColdBreath

    The Elderly Man

    The elderly man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession. "Of course, my son," said the priest. "Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic...
  7. ColdBreath

    Growing Tomatoes (18+)

    A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentlemen,"What do you do to get your...
  8. ColdBreath

    The Dentist II (18+)

    The dentist pulls out a Novocain needle to give the man a shot, so he can extract the man's tooth. 'No way! No needles. I hate needles' the patient said. The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man objects I can't do the gas thing. The thought of having the gas...
  9. ColdBreath

    Hospital Trolley

    A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She's laid on a hospital trolley bed with nothing on, except a sheet over her. The nurse pushes the trolley down the corridor towards the operating theatre, where she leaves the girl on the trolley outside, while she goes in...
  10. ColdBreath

    Never Lie to Your Mother (18+)

    Peter invited his mother for dinner, during the course of the meal; his mother couldn't help but notice how lovely Peter's flat mate, Joanne, was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while...
  11. ColdBreath

    40th wedding anniversary

    A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been such a devoted couple she would grant each of them a very special wish. The wife wished for a trip around the...
  12. ColdBreath

    9 Months Later (18+)

    Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered he door if they could spend the night...
  13. ColdBreath

    Dentist (18+)

    A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes of his trousers and washes his hands again. The girl has been watching him and says, "You must...
  14. ColdBreath

    Cowboy Boots (18+)

    A lady went into a bar in Waco and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest boots she'd ever seen. The woman asked the cowboy if it's true what they say about men with big feet are well endowed. The cowboy grinned and said, "Shore is, little lady. Why...
  15. ColdBreath

    The Ring

    An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The...
  16. ColdBreath

    50 Years of Marriage (18+)

    An old couple is having breakfast when the old woman says to her husband, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years.?" "Yes," he replies. "Fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together. And we were probably naked as jaybirds." "Well," the old woman...
  17. ColdBreath

    Coma

    A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husband. Now he had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to senses, he motioned for her to come near him. As she sat by him, he said, "You know...
  18. ColdBreath

    Biker's Dog

    A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?" A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly...
  19. ColdBreath

    Physical Fitness!

  20. ColdBreath

    Last words...

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