There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in...
An old man was sitting on a bench in the mall when a young man with spiked hair came over and sat down beside him. The boy's hair was yellow and green and orange and purple. He had black makeup around his eyes. The old man just stared at him. The boy said, "What's the matter, old man, haven't...
Once upon a time Nasa decided to send 3 astronauts to space for 2 years. One was American, one was Russian, and the other was English. NASA allowed each of them to take 200 pounds of baggage each. The American decided to take along his wife, the Englishman decided to take along books to learn...
A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls. They come up to the first bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated 50 times in a year, you could learn from him."They proceed to...
A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide, The pharmacist said, "why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord have mercy, I can't give you cyanide to kill...
I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, andso we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me. And my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed. That onething was her younger sister.
My...
Three men are in a hot-air balloon. Soon, they find themselves lost in a canyon somewhere. One of the three men says, "I have an idea. We can call for help in this canyon and the echo will carry our voices far enough for someone to hear us." So he leans over the basket and yells out...
An Egyptian man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to Egypt on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Egyptian man...