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  1. jess

    the effects of alcohol (why i no longer drink)

    AFTER 6 BEERS AFTER 2 GLASSES OF WINE AFTER 2 BOTTLES OF WINE AFTER TOO MANY MARGARITAS AFTER 3 KAMIKAZES AFTER 7 RUM AND COKES AFTER 1 LARGE PURPLE HAZE AFTER 3 MARTINIS AFTER 1 BOTTLE OF TEQUILA
  2. jess

    whos ur daddy??

    A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards. The man, who was a priest, said, 'I am a Father.' The little boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that.' The priest...
  3. jess

    guess who else is checkin out elakiri.com???

    my chihuahua rocky, it seems ek's got a new fan!
  4. jess

    children...

    A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to see what work of...
  5. jess

    WOW!! wasnt expecting that

    This makes a person do some thinking. There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.' One day, someone donated a pair of...
  6. jess

    assicons

    not hilarious, but cute :yes: We all know those cute little computer symbols called 'emoticons,' where: :) means a smile and :( is a frown. Sometimes these are represented by :-) :-( Well, how about some 'ASSICONS?' Here goes: (_!_) a regular ass (__!__) a fat ass (!)...
  7. jess

    2 ways to look at everything

    My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I Kept staring at a drunken woman swigging her drink, as she sat alone at A nearby table. My wife asked, "Do you know her?" "Yes," I sighed. "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she started Drinking right after we split...
  8. jess

    divorce cakes

  9. jess

    stowaway

    BLONDE STOWAWAY A beautiful blonde was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young sailor stopped her. "You have so much to live for," said the sailor. "Look, I'm off to...
  10. jess

    i am thankful

    I AM THANKFUL: FOR THE WIFE WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT, BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME, AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE. FOR THE HUSBAND WHO IS ON THE SOFA BEING A COUCH POTATO, BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS. FOR THE TEENAGER WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING...
  11. jess

    BIG FOOT BODY FOUND???

    http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/bestoftv/2008/08/15/ac.360.shot.bigfoot.cnn?iref=videosearch
  12. jess

    the mystery of the showering divers.....

    Over the last three nights, NBC has led its primetime Olympic coverage with synchronized diving. According to the stacks of letters that have poured into the Fourth-Place Medal Investigative Unit Headquarters, you've all been watching but are baffled by one facet of the competition. In that...
  13. jess

    9 things i hate about people...

    1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T..V.. remote because they refuse to...
  14. jess

    worlds tallest woman dies

    Sandy Allen, the tallest woman in the word at 7 feet 7 inches, passed away on Wednesday at the age of 53. A friend of the family, Rita Rose, confirmed that Allen died at a nursing home in her hometown of Shelbyville, Indiana. Allen had been hospitalized in recent months as she was suffering...
  15. jess

    quick thinking

    A man boarded a plane with 6 kids. After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, "Are all of those kids yours?" He replied, "No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints."
  16. jess

    animal rescue (for the animal lovers)

    Animal Rescue Hi, all you animal lovers. This is pretty simple... Please tell ten friends to tell ten today! The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to click on it daily to meet their quota of getting free food donated every day to abused and neglected ani mals. It...
  17. jess

    why u should own a camera phone!!

  18. jess

    dangerous shampoo

    Shampoo Warning! Dangerous Shampoo! Banned By Dubai Government! Sodium Laureth Sulfate [SLS] CLEAR , FRUCTIS , Vo5, Palmolive, Paul Mitchell, L'Oreal , Body Shop All these Shampoos use a chemical called SLS which is actually a floor cleaner. They are used so as to...
    • jess
    • Thread
    • Replies: 12
    • Forum: News
  19. jess

    computers ; masculine or feminine??

    A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.' A student asked, 'What gender is computer'?' Instead of...
  20. jess

    hmmmf. wat a disgrace to usa.....

    I'd just like to know how he got his own plane...???!!! I thought this might be a hoax; actually hoped it was, but snopes.com verifies the following info. Obama The Patriot - Removes American Flag From His Plane The Patriot Room Posted on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 8:11:07 AM by Bill...

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