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Message: <blockquote data-quote="qwee123" data-source="post: 11390037" data-attributes="member: 361377">All celebrities have to start from somewhere, and sometimes that somewhere is kind of hilarious given their success later in life. Particularly in this grueling recession, tales of the world's biggest celebrities doing awful demeaning things when they were younger makes us smile. Sylvester Stallone - Porn Star<img src="http://www.spitefulcritic.com/images/stories/flexicontent/m_sylvester-stallone.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /> Sylvester Stallone actually did porn before he was famous. If you've ever had that hankering to see the Italian Stallion's "Rocky," well, you have Google, i'm sure you can figure it out. He took his first role in the softcore porn film The Party at Kitty and Stud's out of desperation. After being kicked out of his apartment, he later described the experience in dramatic terms. "It was either do that movie or rob someone, because I was at the end - the very end - of my rope." He was paid $200 for his "assets." While his porn career was short-lived, he did star in an erotic off-Broadway play called Score, which ran in 1971.  Here is a preview of his porn film, which was renamed The Italian Stallion to capitalize on his popularity in Rocky (It's SFW) Madonna - Dunkin' Donuts Worker<img src="http://www.spitefulcritic.com/images/stories/flexicontent/m_madonna-doughnut.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /> Arriving in New York after dropping out of college with almost no money, Madonna worked at a Dunkin' Donuts for a time until making the connections that would eventually make her the biggest pop star in the world. Speaking about the experience, Madonna said, "it was the first time I'd ever taken a plane, the first time I'd ever gotten a taxi cab. I came here with $35 in my pocket. It was the bravest thing I'd ever done."Jackie Chan - Porn Star <img src="http://www.spitefulcritic.com/images/stories/flexicontent/m_jackie-chan.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" />Yes, the lovable, family friendly Jackie Chan used to do porn. The film was called All in the Family and he acted with one of the famous porn movie stars of the '70s. When the news broke he explained, "I had to do anything I could to make a living 31 years ago, but I don't think it's a big deal, even Marlon Brando used to be exposed in his movies. The porn movie at that time was more conservative than the current films."Helen Mirren - Amusement Park Promoter <img src="http://www.spitefulcritic.com/images/stories/flexicontent/m_mirren.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" />Just imagine for a second Dame Helen Mirren, one of the greatest actors alive today, shilling for Dave's Insane Snapping Turtle Ride while wearing a giant funny hat*. It's insane because she actually did. She used to work for the amusement park "The Kursaal" as a "blagger" which is British slang for someone who could sell ice to the Eskimos. *ok, so we don't know if there was a funny hat involved. But we're just going to say there was.   Evangeline Lilly - Phone Sex Girl<img src="http://www.spitefulcritic.com/images/stories/flexicontent/m_evangeline-lilly.gif" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /> Evangeline Lilly, the hottie from Lost, used to shill for a company called Livelinks in one of those sketchy late night "meet local singles" lines, but if you look at their website and it's pretty clear it's for phone sex (with fat people, I mean if we're being honest here). You have to see the video, it's hilarious.  Cameron Diaz - Porn Star<img src="http://www.spitefulcritic.com/images/stories/flexicontent/m_cameron-diaz.jpeg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /> Before her breakout role in The Mask, Cameron Diaz shot a soft-core porn movie with photographer John Rutter when she was 19. It took years of legal back-and-forth on her end to keep it under wraps, but it leaked to the Internet anyway in 2004. Oh the Internet, you'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. Jerry Seinfeld - Lightbulb Retailer<img src="http://www.spitefulcritic.com/images/stories/flexicontent/m_1-jerry-seinfeld-banana.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /> Could you imagine Jerry Seinfeld selling lightbulbs over the phone? That's exactly what he did after graduating from college in 1976 along with a slew of other jobs including a sidewalk jewelry peddler. I'm kind of thinking he would be crappy at it, I'll be honest. Arnold Schwarzenegger - Gay Porn Model <img src="http://www.spitefulcritic.com/images/stories/flexicontent/m_ahnold.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" />In 1977, long before either Governator or Teminator, Ahnold was the cover model for the February 1977 issue of the now-defunct After Dark magazine. While not officially a gay magazine per se, they regularly published images of naked guys, like, randomly, so you be the judge. They did an issue which was body builder-themed and at that point Ahlold was one of the most famous ones in the world. He appeared naked in 2 pictures, including one with a clear view of his...er...terminator. Colin Farrell - Porn Star<img src="http://www.spitefulcritic.com/images/stories/flexicontent/m_colin.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /> Is there anyone in Hollywood without a sex tape? Right around the time Colin Farrell was becoming popular with roles in Minority Report, The Recruit, and Phone Booth, he made a 14-minute masterpiece with his ex, Playboy model Nicole Narain, and filed a lawsuit in order to halt its distribution. Pretend to be shocked, it appeared on the Internet shortly thereafter. Brad Pitt - Man In Chicken Suit<img src="http://www.spitefulcritic.com/images/stories/flexicontent/m_chicken_suit1.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /> Brad Pitt, one of the biggest stars in Hollywood used to dress up in a chicken suit for el Pollo Loco. Before he was famous, he lived the typical struggling actor life which also included driving strippers in limos and moving refrigerators. Around that time he also starred in a hilarious Pringles commercial. </blockquote>

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