1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Stupid Question:
Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:
Don???t u know, I sell tickets in black over here..
2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question:
Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:
No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again.
3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:
Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:
Why? Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:
Is ! The "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
Answer:
No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question:
Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:
Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:
Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:
No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:
Sorry. Were you sleeping?
Answer:
No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping.... you dumb witted moron.
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:
Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:
No, its autumn and I'm shedding......
9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:
Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:
No it wont. It will just bleed.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question:
Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:
Gosh, it's a miracle .......it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!
Stupid Question:
Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:
Don???t u know, I sell tickets in black over here..
2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question:
Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:
No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again.
3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:
Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:
Why? Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:
Is ! The "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
Answer:
No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question:
Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:
Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:
Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:
No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:
Sorry. Were you sleeping?
Answer:
No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping.... you dumb witted moron.
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:
Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:
No, its autumn and I'm shedding......
9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:
Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:
No it wont. It will just bleed.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question:
Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:
Gosh, it's a miracle .......it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!
