Here are the nastiest,
most off-putting stuff guys do in public
that has the potential to alienate women and,
really, anyone within two feet...!
#10Admire yourself in the Mirror
Sure, Adonis, your biceps are big and your abs are tight, but your love
affair with the gym mirror is just plain creepy. The bar narcissist who
fixates on his James Bond poses in the mirror before, during and after
he talks to a woman is equally funny and disturbing. By all means,
check the mirror to make sure you haven’t got broccoli between your
teeth or a stream of snot across your cheek, but if you can’t get
enough of yourself in the mirror, chances are other people quickly
will.
#9 Pick Yourself
You see it all the time: the guy in the parked car next to you picking
his nose like he’s grabbing for a coin that’s just out of reach, a
salesman at a hardware store scratching his crotch like he’s getting
wax off a table or a guy at the urinal driving a finger into his ***
like he’s trying to read his own temperature. Sure, we all get itches,
but satisfying some of them in public can spell more harm than relief,
and is just one of those things guys shouldn't do in public -- ever.
#8 - Sitting with Crossed Legs
You're talking to a guy at work, he's telling you about a new project
you'll be working on and then it happens: In the middle of his ramble
about the crucial importance of the project and your much-needed
"buy-in," he crosses his legs, one over the other. Hmmm, suddenly his
bold, tough pronouncements lose some of their ferocity. True, some guys
can pull it off. However, on the wrong pair of legs, what's intended to
express comfort and ease can quickly turn into a pretentious way of
sitting. Better to keep your feet on the ground.
#7 Blow your nose without a Tissue
Unless you accidentally inhaled Agent Orange, this is one of those
things guys shouldn’t do in public. Always have a pack of tissues
handy, or, if you don't and have to blow your nose, ask for one from
someone nearby. If you feel shy about asking for a tissue, consider
that the people around you would no doubt appreciate it more if it will
prevent a river of snot from shooting in front of their feet.
#6 - Play Wrestle
You’ve tried out your best DDT, suplex, bodyslam, and piledriver on
most of your friends, but here’s the thing: you did it in grade school
and high school. If you’re still play wrestling with your buddies in
public, maybe join a gym to do Greco-Roman wrestling or try out for the
WWE instead. What have you got left to lose? Most of your dignity and
audience will be long gone after you perform this stunt guys shouldn't
do in public.
#5 Puke
We’ve all had too much to drink and thrown up the contents of our
evening. While you may be amazed at your mass of spaghetti, red wine,
the purple shot you drank for that hot girl’s birthday, and foam from
two pitchers of beer on the ground, the public would rather keep
drinking and not see the contents of your stomach. If the room’s
spinning out of control, do your best to find a closed bathroom stall
to save your evening (and everyone else's). You’ll not only avoid the
humiliation of puking in front of an audience, but if you freshen up
your breath and stick to drinking water, you could keep partying (and
keep your dignity).
#4 Argue with your girlfriend
You could have a valid reason why you’re arguing with your girlfriend,
but everyone around you will only see you one way: as a hothead. And if
you're with other couples at a party, you’ve now cranked up the
discomfort by creating an awkward atmosphere for everyone by engaging
in this thing guys shouldn't do in public. By trying to solve your
nuclear debates at home with your girlfriend, you’ll help save the
public from the negative fallout.
#3 Write longhand in a Journal
Unless you’re a calligrapher or a Mennonite, you can use a laptop to
write your metaphysical poetry and emo heartbreak. You may not believe
it, but your writing won’t lose its meaning if it's not transcribed in
longhand. Most cafés have Wi-Fi now so you can just add to the symphony
of other people tapping away on their laptops. True, while you might
not be able to dry blood on your diary pages, you can still slap a big
fat ankh sticker on the back of your jet-black laptop to let everyone
know how mysterious and tortured you are.
#2 Pee conspicuously
As you know, one of the top 10 things only men can do is pee anywhere.
However, that doesn’t mean you should. A hidden spot behind a dumpster
or alleyway to relieve yourself works fine (kind of), but if you simply
turn your back behind a car thinking you're hiding yourself, remember
there are tons of people in front of you that can still see you clear
as day. Plus, no one cares to sidestep a river of piss just to get into
his or her car..
#1 Cry
Yes, it’s a given you might cry at a funeral. However, do you really
need to shed a tear at the latest romantic comedy you took your
girlfriend to go see? We all get emotional and have our ups and downs,
but having empathy doesn’t mean having to turn on the waterworks. If
your girlfriend weeps at a movie or while she's reading, by all means
comfort her. However, if you’re also drowning in a pool of tears, it’s
going to make it a much harder job.
most off-putting stuff guys do in public
that has the potential to alienate women and,
really, anyone within two feet...!
#10Admire yourself in the Mirror
Sure, Adonis, your biceps are big and your abs are tight, but your love
affair with the gym mirror is just plain creepy. The bar narcissist who
fixates on his James Bond poses in the mirror before, during and after
he talks to a woman is equally funny and disturbing. By all means,
check the mirror to make sure you haven’t got broccoli between your
teeth or a stream of snot across your cheek, but if you can’t get
enough of yourself in the mirror, chances are other people quickly
will.
#9 Pick Yourself
You see it all the time: the guy in the parked car next to you picking
his nose like he’s grabbing for a coin that’s just out of reach, a
salesman at a hardware store scratching his crotch like he’s getting
wax off a table or a guy at the urinal driving a finger into his ***
like he’s trying to read his own temperature. Sure, we all get itches,
but satisfying some of them in public can spell more harm than relief,
and is just one of those things guys shouldn't do in public -- ever.
#8 - Sitting with Crossed Legs
You're talking to a guy at work, he's telling you about a new project
you'll be working on and then it happens: In the middle of his ramble
about the crucial importance of the project and your much-needed
"buy-in," he crosses his legs, one over the other. Hmmm, suddenly his
bold, tough pronouncements lose some of their ferocity. True, some guys
can pull it off. However, on the wrong pair of legs, what's intended to
express comfort and ease can quickly turn into a pretentious way of
sitting. Better to keep your feet on the ground.
#7 Blow your nose without a Tissue
Unless you accidentally inhaled Agent Orange, this is one of those
things guys shouldn’t do in public. Always have a pack of tissues
handy, or, if you don't and have to blow your nose, ask for one from
someone nearby. If you feel shy about asking for a tissue, consider
that the people around you would no doubt appreciate it more if it will
prevent a river of snot from shooting in front of their feet.
#6 - Play Wrestle
You’ve tried out your best DDT, suplex, bodyslam, and piledriver on
most of your friends, but here’s the thing: you did it in grade school
and high school. If you’re still play wrestling with your buddies in
public, maybe join a gym to do Greco-Roman wrestling or try out for the
WWE instead. What have you got left to lose? Most of your dignity and
audience will be long gone after you perform this stunt guys shouldn't
do in public.
#5 Puke
We’ve all had too much to drink and thrown up the contents of our
evening. While you may be amazed at your mass of spaghetti, red wine,
the purple shot you drank for that hot girl’s birthday, and foam from
two pitchers of beer on the ground, the public would rather keep
drinking and not see the contents of your stomach. If the room’s
spinning out of control, do your best to find a closed bathroom stall
to save your evening (and everyone else's). You’ll not only avoid the
humiliation of puking in front of an audience, but if you freshen up
your breath and stick to drinking water, you could keep partying (and
keep your dignity).
#4 Argue with your girlfriend
You could have a valid reason why you’re arguing with your girlfriend,
but everyone around you will only see you one way: as a hothead. And if
you're with other couples at a party, you’ve now cranked up the
discomfort by creating an awkward atmosphere for everyone by engaging
in this thing guys shouldn't do in public. By trying to solve your
nuclear debates at home with your girlfriend, you’ll help save the
public from the negative fallout.
#3 Write longhand in a Journal
Unless you’re a calligrapher or a Mennonite, you can use a laptop to
write your metaphysical poetry and emo heartbreak. You may not believe
it, but your writing won’t lose its meaning if it's not transcribed in
longhand. Most cafés have Wi-Fi now so you can just add to the symphony
of other people tapping away on their laptops. True, while you might
not be able to dry blood on your diary pages, you can still slap a big
fat ankh sticker on the back of your jet-black laptop to let everyone
know how mysterious and tortured you are.
#2 Pee conspicuously
As you know, one of the top 10 things only men can do is pee anywhere.
However, that doesn’t mean you should. A hidden spot behind a dumpster
or alleyway to relieve yourself works fine (kind of), but if you simply
turn your back behind a car thinking you're hiding yourself, remember
there are tons of people in front of you that can still see you clear
as day. Plus, no one cares to sidestep a river of piss just to get into
his or her car..
#1 Cry
Yes, it’s a given you might cry at a funeral. However, do you really
need to shed a tear at the latest romantic comedy you took your
girlfriend to go see? We all get emotional and have our ups and downs,
but having empathy doesn’t mean having to turn on the waterworks. If
your girlfriend weeps at a movie or while she's reading, by all means
comfort her. However, if you’re also drowning in a pool of tears, it’s
going to make it a much harder job.
Great post
