1
One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm.
The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynaecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."
The husband, rejected, turns over.
A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"
2
A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.
She stands next to the barber chair, eating a cake while her dad gets his haircut.
The barber smiles at her and says, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your muffin."
"I know," she replies. "I'm gonna get tits too."
3
A young woman goes to church to confess her sins to the priest.
"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."
"Tell me all of your sins, my daughter."
"Oh, Father, last night my boyfriend made hot, passionate love to me seven times," she says.
The priest thinks about this long and hard, and says, "Take seven lemons and squeeze the juice into a tall glass,
and drink it."
"Will this cleanse my soul of my sins?"
"No," the priest says, "but it'll wipe that smile off your face!"
4
Wives are funny creatures.
They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks
and then they want to kill the woman who does.
One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm.
The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynaecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."
The husband, rejected, turns over.
A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"
2
A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.
She stands next to the barber chair, eating a cake while her dad gets his haircut.
The barber smiles at her and says, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your muffin."
"I know," she replies. "I'm gonna get tits too."
3
A young woman goes to church to confess her sins to the priest.
"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."
"Tell me all of your sins, my daughter."
"Oh, Father, last night my boyfriend made hot, passionate love to me seven times," she says.
The priest thinks about this long and hard, and says, "Take seven lemons and squeeze the juice into a tall glass,
and drink it."
"Will this cleanse my soul of my sins?"
"No," the priest says, "but it'll wipe that smile off your face!"
4
Wives are funny creatures.
They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks
and then they want to kill the woman who does.
ela....
