5 Signs You are Drunk And Must Go Home
We’ve all been there. One of your friends is insisting on taking one more shot, which will probably be followed by another beer, followed by a quick game of boot ‘n rally. While your head is all like, “yeah, yeah this is a great idea.” Your body is starting to get that nagging feeling which usually signals it’s time to leave. Whether this “nagging feeling” is your stomach about to send back up the last two carbombs you took, or your bladder screaming “I can’t take any more!” there’s more than one way to know when you’re better off hailing a cab than a bartender.
1. You’re ordering ridiculous drinks you wouldn’t usually touch
Whether you’re a beer and whiskey guy, or a gin and tonic fan, at certain points you might find yourself craving something way out of your usual drinking scope. If the thought of an appletini or red death suddenly sounds irresistible to you, it might be time to put down the glass and walk away before you do any more damage.
2. You’re making uncomfortably friendly conversation with people you don’t know
You came to the bar with a huge crew of friends, drinking, carousing and having an all out wild time. All the sudden, you find yourself enveloped in a deep discussion with the guy next to you at the bar, contemplating the meaning of life or other existential musings. Of course, you’re overlooking the fact that this is a complete stranger, and the supposedly poignant thoughts make no sense to anyone but you. Hopefully one of your buddies drags you away from this one before things get too weird.
3. You’re buying a pack of cigarettes (you don’t smoke)
With one unhealthy choice probably comes another, right? The ever so common “I only smoke when I’m drunk” philosophy is a sure-fire method of telling you’ve probably had enough, or too much, especially when you spend the entire smoke coughing like you just took a deep breath off the business end of a car tailpipe. Do your lungs a favor and bow out as gracefully as possible on this one.
4. You’re trying to hit on a girl (you have a girlfriend)
So those last two shots of Jameson have you feeling like a king, and it becomes apparent that you should clearly try to strike up a conversation with the blonde standing next to you. This is about as advisable as ordering a cement mixer shot, because all of your friends are standing about five feet away wondering “What the hell is he thinking?” The infamous “What girlfriend?” line from Dazed and Confused isn’t going to work here, and you probably aren’t that smooth anyway.
5. You’re breaking out the credit card.
In an attempt to limit spending for the evening, you hit the ATM beforehand to take out some money. After a few hours in the bar, you’ve blown through everything, and decide to buy a round of shots on the credit card. The fact that the bill is already past due and almost over the limit seems like an afterthought, as well as your state of complete drunkenness. Avoid spending money you don’t even have on drinks you won’t remember, and you’ll be thanking yourself in the morning for sure.....
We’ve all been there. One of your friends is insisting on taking one more shot, which will probably be followed by another beer, followed by a quick game of boot ‘n rally. While your head is all like, “yeah, yeah this is a great idea.” Your body is starting to get that nagging feeling which usually signals it’s time to leave. Whether this “nagging feeling” is your stomach about to send back up the last two carbombs you took, or your bladder screaming “I can’t take any more!” there’s more than one way to know when you’re better off hailing a cab than a bartender.
1. You’re ordering ridiculous drinks you wouldn’t usually touch
Whether you’re a beer and whiskey guy, or a gin and tonic fan, at certain points you might find yourself craving something way out of your usual drinking scope. If the thought of an appletini or red death suddenly sounds irresistible to you, it might be time to put down the glass and walk away before you do any more damage.
2. You’re making uncomfortably friendly conversation with people you don’t know
You came to the bar with a huge crew of friends, drinking, carousing and having an all out wild time. All the sudden, you find yourself enveloped in a deep discussion with the guy next to you at the bar, contemplating the meaning of life or other existential musings. Of course, you’re overlooking the fact that this is a complete stranger, and the supposedly poignant thoughts make no sense to anyone but you. Hopefully one of your buddies drags you away from this one before things get too weird.
3. You’re buying a pack of cigarettes (you don’t smoke)
With one unhealthy choice probably comes another, right? The ever so common “I only smoke when I’m drunk” philosophy is a sure-fire method of telling you’ve probably had enough, or too much, especially when you spend the entire smoke coughing like you just took a deep breath off the business end of a car tailpipe. Do your lungs a favor and bow out as gracefully as possible on this one.
4. You’re trying to hit on a girl (you have a girlfriend)
So those last two shots of Jameson have you feeling like a king, and it becomes apparent that you should clearly try to strike up a conversation with the blonde standing next to you. This is about as advisable as ordering a cement mixer shot, because all of your friends are standing about five feet away wondering “What the hell is he thinking?” The infamous “What girlfriend?” line from Dazed and Confused isn’t going to work here, and you probably aren’t that smooth anyway.
5. You’re breaking out the credit card.
In an attempt to limit spending for the evening, you hit the ATM beforehand to take out some money. After a few hours in the bar, you’ve blown through everything, and decide to buy a round of shots on the credit card. The fact that the bill is already past due and almost over the limit seems like an afterthought, as well as your state of complete drunkenness. Avoid spending money you don’t even have on drinks you won’t remember, and you’ll be thanking yourself in the morning for sure.....
