Stage 1 - SMART
This is when you suddenly become an
expert on every subject in the known
Universe.
You know everything and want to pass
on your knowledge to anyone who will
listen.
At this stage you are always RIGHT.
And of course the person you are
talking to is very WRONG.
This makes for an interesting argument
when both parties are SMART.
Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING
This is when you realise that you are
the BEST LOOKING person in the entire
bar and that people fancy you.
You can go up to a perfect stranger
knowing they fancy you and really want
to talk to you.
Bear in mind that you are still SMART,
so you can talk to this person about
any subject under the sun.
Stage 3 - RICH
This is when you suddenly become the
richest person in the world.
You can buy drinks for the entire bar
because you have an armoured truck
full of money parked behind the bar.
You can also make bets at this stage,
because of course, you are still
SMART, so naturally you will win all
your bets.
It doesn't matter how much you
bet 'cos you are RICH.
You will also buy drinks for everyone
that you fancy, because now you are
the BEST LOOKING person in the world.
Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF
You are now ready to pick fights with
anyone and everyone especially those
with whom you have been betting or
arguing.
This is because nothing can hurt you.
At this point you can also go up to
the partners of the people who you
fancy and challenge to a battle of
wits or money.
You have no fear of losing this battle
because you are SMART, you are RICH
and hell, you're BETTER LOOKING than
they are anyway!
Stage 5 - INVISIBLE
This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness.
At this point you can do anything
because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance
on a table to impress the people who
you fancy because the rest of the
people in the room cannot see you.
You are also invisible to the person
who wants to fight you.
You can walk through the street
singing at the top of your lungs
because no one can see or hear you and
because you're still SMART you know
all the words.
This is when you suddenly become an
expert on every subject in the known
Universe.
You know everything and want to pass
on your knowledge to anyone who will
listen.
At this stage you are always RIGHT.
And of course the person you are
talking to is very WRONG.
This makes for an interesting argument
when both parties are SMART.
Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING
This is when you realise that you are
the BEST LOOKING person in the entire
bar and that people fancy you.
You can go up to a perfect stranger
knowing they fancy you and really want
to talk to you.
Bear in mind that you are still SMART,
so you can talk to this person about
any subject under the sun.
Stage 3 - RICH
This is when you suddenly become the
richest person in the world.
You can buy drinks for the entire bar
because you have an armoured truck
full of money parked behind the bar.
You can also make bets at this stage,
because of course, you are still
SMART, so naturally you will win all
your bets.
It doesn't matter how much you
bet 'cos you are RICH.
You will also buy drinks for everyone
that you fancy, because now you are
the BEST LOOKING person in the world.
Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF
You are now ready to pick fights with
anyone and everyone especially those
with whom you have been betting or
arguing.
This is because nothing can hurt you.
At this point you can also go up to
the partners of the people who you
fancy and challenge to a battle of
wits or money.
You have no fear of losing this battle
because you are SMART, you are RICH
and hell, you're BETTER LOOKING than
they are anyway!
Stage 5 - INVISIBLE
This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness.
At this point you can do anything
because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance
on a table to impress the people who
you fancy because the rest of the
people in the room cannot see you.
You are also invisible to the person
who wants to fight you.
You can walk through the street
singing at the top of your lungs
because no one can see or hear you and
because you're still SMART you know
all the words.
